Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pregnant and anxious

3 replies

Brum1992 · 08/01/2022 07:07

I am married and have a 3 year old son. Before he was born, me and my husband thought how wonderful it would be to have 2-3 children. I was 35 when he was born, so we didn’t have lots of time on our side. Since he’s been here, I’ve felt completely as if it’s the three of us, I’m content with that and we don’t need more children. For many reasons, stemming from not wanting to change to relationship with my son, to worries about climate change and the future.

My career is also going well and I have the right balance between work and home life, having been given some great opportunities.

I’m now 38, and not too far off 39, and I just found out I’m not pregnant. I don’t feel how I think I should feel. I feel a bit numb. I know I’m very lucky for this to happen at this age, but why do I feel like this? Is it just that it doesn’t feel real? I’ve had such anxiety for the last few weeks, before I found out, which I think is hormones. It was enough to make me think I should get signed off work - I didn’t.

Selfishly I don’t want to let work down after they’ve given me these opportunities. Also, I am just so so so tired after the last two years of balancing work, often without childcare when lockdowns were happening. My son would wake up every two hours for 2.5 years through the night and I still feel exhausted. I’m on a waiting list for physiotherapy as I get an achey back and my hip is weak from the last pregnancy. I also sometimes wonder if there’s a little trauma about pregnancy and childbirth. My son was over 10lbs, and after an induction was born by emergency section after his heart kept dropping.

Apologies that this is a woe is me story. I feel I needed to vent, but I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. My husband is so excited.

OP posts:
Brum1992 · 08/01/2022 07:09

Apologies - just re read. I am pregnant. I had written I’m not

OP posts:
Circlesandtriangles · 08/01/2022 09:22

I think it's actually a lot more common than you'd think to want more kids and then feel a massive panic when it's happening. I really wanted my second and had secondary infertility for years and then when I got pregnant my first feelings were "what if this ruins our family dynamics!?" - but a few years down the road it has honestly been brilliant, much more chilled than first time round and the joy the siblings have brought each other crowns it. It's ok to have a wobble and mixed feelings! X

Foxglovers · 08/01/2022 18:51

I totally sympathise with you and felt quite similar myself (got worse through my pregnancy with DC2) 1st child and I had a great bond - was also extra clingy to me so I felt a lot of stress about upsetting the dynamics of the family (even though I had tried to get pregnant again - but it’s like it wasn’t real then it happened and I freaked out!) but DC2 is now 9 months and our family has
Of course adjusted and we all love our new edition as much as we did our first. Although my pregnancy was miserable it’s now just a distant memory. It will be great for your DS to have a sibling when he is older - I would just keep telling yourself that! I hope you relax into the pregnancy more - I found it very hard and was so anxious through it all. But I guess it just slots into place eventually and suddenly you can’t believe your new child wasn’t always there?
I should say we also had terrible sleep issues with my eldest (still not great but better!) but new baby sleeps really well and of course after those first crazy newborn weeks the sleep this time round has been better (either that or I’m just used to being tired?!) I hope you can start feeling positive about it soon but I do get it ❤️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread