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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want our plans for tomorrow to be changed because dsd has decided that dh HAS to take her supermarket shopping?

19 replies

brusselbeansprouts · 23/12/2007 19:56

Dsd (20 yo) is cooking for a group of people on Boxing Day. This will be at someone else's house, not here. Today she told/asked dh to take her to Sainsbury's to buy everything she needs. We have people over at 12pm for lunch and then other stuff on in the afternoon (ds and dh digging up our tree and bringing it in and then going to a carol service - these are our traditions that mean a lot to us).

So, go shopping in the morning I hear you say, which would be fine but dsd just doesn't do mornings and there is just no way she will be ready at say, 9am or the time they actually need to go.

I just know that no matter what time they arrange to meet, she will be late, which will knock onto the rest of the day. It's an old schoolfriend of dh that is coming for lunch, I hardly know them so he does need to be back in time but it's highly unlikely he will be. Dsd is routinely 2/3 hours late for whatever they arrange.

Sigh. Just having a moan really!!

OP posts:
lizziemun · 23/12/2007 20:00

Can't he tell what time to be ready and if she not then tough she will find her own way.

NineUnlovelyTinselDecorations · 23/12/2007 20:01

Get your DH to arrange to take his DD shopping at whatever reasonable time you both think will allow you to carry on with the rest of the day. Then if she is not ready within 15 minutes of that time, agree that your DH will return home. Your DH is mad if he allows his DD to be so late with arrangements.

pinkbubble · 23/12/2007 20:03

Get DH to drop her off at supermarket and tell her to get a taxi home afterwards.

Does she not drive? If she does could she borrow DHs car?

WigWamBam · 23/12/2007 20:04

Tell her you have plans, and she's either ready for 8am or she has to use a taxi.

She's an adult; she has to learn to take the consequences of her behaviour (not planning properly, not getting out of bed in time).

forkhandles · 23/12/2007 20:04

Can you dig up the tree in the morning and then DH can go shopping after lunch and before carols?

Just when you think it's all sorted there's always something isn't there

Freckle · 23/12/2007 20:05

Erm, why, at 20 years old, does she need her dad to take her shopping?? If it's just his car she needs to transport the stuff, could she not just borrow the car or, much simpler, get a taxi??

SueBaRoomForAMincePie · 23/12/2007 20:06

earth to Dsd - you are not the axis of the earth, lifts are a favour, not a right...

If she can't fit in with the courtesy of being given a lift, then it's little bit tough luck, really.

weewishyouamerryonion · 23/12/2007 20:09

she needs to fit with your plans - not the other way round. poor her who doesnt "do" mornings , maybe this would be a good time to start.
it must be frustrating for you though.

claraenglish · 23/12/2007 20:12

Message withdrawn

brusselbeansprouts · 23/12/2007 20:22

Thanks everyone. Dh bends backwards for her and then I am portrayed as the meanie, but it really helps that you lot don't agree!

OP posts:
lizziemun · 23/12/2007 20:30

Brusselbeanspouts you are most deffinety (sp) not a meanie.

Can i ask you where you the one whose dsd was leaving university and moving in with you and your dh, dc (think you are pg) and you only live in a 2 bedflat. If not sorry to confuse you with someone else.

NineUnlovelyTinselDecorations · 23/12/2007 22:42

I was wondering that too Lizzimun!

BibiJesus · 23/12/2007 22:43

Can you not borrow a granny trolley from an elderly neighbour and present it to her with her bus fare?

Sorry to hear your plans are going to be knocked askew tomorrow

How's the big bean and the new bean? Only a month or so to go isnt' it?! Exciting! hope you're keeping well. xxx

brusselbeansprouts · 24/12/2007 04:14

Lizziemum and nine - yep, that's me!!

Bibi - Big bean is fine, little bean is kicking away and is engaged already...! I'm due at the end of January...
How is dd and the twins?

Dh has arranged to pick her up at 9.30am. He has also said that he still has some xmas shopping to do... wonder if I will get xmas presents from Sainsbury's again (I kid you not!)

OP posts:
lizziemun · 24/12/2007 06:21

Oh well that explains why you are a meanie

brusselbeansprouts · 24/12/2007 08:37

Meanie Beanie, that's me!!

OP posts:
NineUnlovelyTinselDecorations · 24/12/2007 13:38

Oh in that case you should let her get away with murder, just to be glad that she is not living at your house! If she is that demanding whilst not living there, imagine the hell of sharing a home with her

brusselbeansprouts · 24/12/2007 16:02

Well, dh went to pick her up... and she wasn't there!! She had stayed at a friend's house but not told him. He was not happy.

They still got things done in time and so the rest of the day hasn't been messed up. Phew.

OP posts:
lizziemun · 24/12/2007 18:32

WOW what a surprise. Not .

Will he now see she is be unreasonable expecting him to run around after a grown woman.

Hope your Lunch went ok.

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