How do I get over this

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I really needed your help
After 4 years & 2 kids later I’ve finally realised I deserve better

BUT how do I get over this? Family are busy with work ect in reality i have no one. Is anyone awake that can please offer advice on how you got over the split of you and your childrens dad, we private rent money will be tight for me but I can’t put up with this no more. Im scared I’ll never get through this

Time. A rollercoaster ride of emotions but hold on to the one day where you look back and think how much better your life is. It’s liberating and wonderful. You will get there!

What do you mean you have no one? Friends? Siblings? You might be surprised how many people come out to support you if you can let them in.

January is a hard month and after the pressure cooker of Christmas lots of people feel like change. Hold on to what’s important to you and why you need to leave.

I know it needs to be done. I feel sorry for my kids

I have all of those things but they have there own lives to deal with

You cannot parent effectively or be a good parent if you are miserable. I'm not sure of your circumstances, but I grew up in a very unhappy household, with two parents who despised each other (but were too stubborn to walk away). They were great parents but just not effective in a relationship with each other. Even as a child, I begged my DM to divorce, and as soon as my DB and I could, we left home to leave our parents to their dysfunctional relationship.

The end of a relationship is a difficult thing, but sometimes it is actually the healthiest and best thing you can do for your children. It will be hard, but hard times don't last and in a few months/years you will look back and realise you did the right thing and it was worth it.

The only thing that helps is time. It's not just the end of a relationship, its also that they're a habit that you need to break, so it is hard. But if you're at the point where you need to end it then it'll be worth it.
How you feel about going it alone won't last for ever, but if you stay then the misery and being treated badly might well do, so deep breathing and focus. You can do this and it's all going to be OK.

I hope so x

Your children will be fine, my Son, once he was an adult asked me why i had stayed with his Father so long when i was unhappy, he told me it used to make him so sad that i didn't laugh much. Just do it, you will be better off

You can do it. I always see it as my parents split after 21years of marriage and 3 kids. I can let go of anyone.

Better while they are young and it becomes normal

And it is so much better than living with someone making you unhappy.

The best thing to do is get yourself organised. Work out what benefits you may be entitled to, whether you can afford to rent a new property and if so do you have enough for the deposit and first months rent. If not do you need to save up before you leave or can you ask a relative to put you and the kids up until you can find somewhere. Is there any abuse? If so can you access support through Women's Aid. Do you have your own Bank Account? If not get one set up. Sorting out the practicalities will help you move forward. Only time will truly help you get past the emotional side of the split but counselling can help if you can access it.

The best thing to do is get yourself organised. Work out what benefits you may be entitled to, whether you can afford to rent a new property and if so do you have enough for the deposit and first months rent. If not do you need to save up before you leave or can you ask a relative to put you and the kids up until you can find somewhere. Is there any abuse? If so can you access support through Women's Aid. Do you have your own Bank Account? If not get one set up. Sorting out the practicalities will help you move forward. Only time will truly help you get past the emotional side of the split but counselling can help if you can access it.

You feel the fear and do it anyway.