To ask for advice on telling kids dog is being put down

[Barnybrown]

Our wonderful much loved 16 year old dog has gone downhill in the last two weeks and is nearing the end of his life. The vet has advised us to have him put down next week. We are devastated but recognise this is best for him now.

Our children are aged 5 and 8 and both love the dog - he has been around all of their lives. I have explained he is very unwell and will probably die soon and they both became very tearful and upset of course . Does anyone have any tips on the best way to prepare and talk to the children about this and to support them through this loss please ?

If you look on Amazon I'm sure there are kids books that cover this topic in stories to help them understand. Kids can process death if it's explained as a natural event and often people use the story that they go over the rainbow bridge to dog heaven etc
Maybe plan a keepsake box or simiiar?

When my cat died last year, the vet's office offered hair samples and pawprints....which I thought was sentimental tosh, but my then 8yo enjoyed them.

She did some drawings about how much she missed Dusty. I did too actually.

I try to be matter of fact about death but sympathetic to their feelings about it. Yes, it is sad and we miss Dusty. She was so funny and sweet, do you remember how she did such and such. We were lucky to have her and we gave her a very loving home, not all pets are so lucky. It's hard losing a pet but all living things will die eventually, otherwise the world would fill up and there would be no room for new dogs and cats and people. Etc.

Best wishes, so sorry about your dog.

Can I just say not the book 'goodbye mog' absolutely great for explaining end of life, not so great ends with the solution is new pet.
There's a book about white feathers and rainbow Bridge I've heard is great.

Just be really open but in a way they can understand. Dog is very old, might be hurting and the vets will give him some medicine to put him in a deep sleep and help his body die because it’s the kind and loving thing we do for our pets when they get this old and unwell.

Heaven by Nicolas Evans is a heartbreakingly sweet and sad story about a dog knowing it's time to go.

No advice but just wanted to say sorry your lovely dog is unwell x

@HippeePrincess

Just be really open but in a way they can understand. Dog is very old, might be hurting and the vets will give him some medicine to put him in a deep sleep and help his body die because it’s the kind and loving thing we do for our pets when they get this old and unwell.

This ♥️

I would not advise using terminology such as 'put to sleep'. I know children who have thought by going to sleep you will die. Two dogs have died most recent with a 6 y.o. ds. We explained the vet tells us it hurts and it can't be fixed and they get an injection that only animals can have. That has not upset him but he still says regularly he misses the dogs and we talk about how dogs don't last as long as people and it is sad but it is fun while they are here

Sorry about your dog OP; I know how heartbreaking this is.

Losing our childhood pets is some small kind of preparation for the bigger losses to come.

Can you have a little funeral for him in the garden and bury a memento from each child with him/his ashes?

Sadly, I have been here a few times with our much loved dogs.

Our children have been all ages.

Most recently youngest dc age 6 & 4.

I sat them down and simply explained that I had very sad news, that dear dog was very old and that they had died ( our dog went downhill within hours)
They were tearful and asked a few questions about death and why ect.
I gently answered all the questions as best as I could.

6 weeks on, they will occasionally mention our dear dog and bring up fond memories and a love for the photo they see of dear dog.
All you can really do is talk to them when they ask.

Im sorry to hear about your dog, ours was 15 , its a heartbreaking time.x

I decided not to tell my child that our dog was going to be put to sleep, instead I told her that he had died of old age under his favourite tree in the garden. Seemed a lot nicer to me to tell her that way.

So sorry, I told my kids that our boy was very tired, felt sick and had a sore back. I said all he wanted to do was go to sleep and that as humans our big job was to look after animals even when it meant saying goodbye. I got them to talk to him and walk him and we took photos. Its so hard but the emotions will come and they must not feel they cant feel them. Im sorry, the right thing is the hardest thing sometimes. X

Whatever you do, don't mask any of it. Be honest make them part of the goodbye even if it's heart breaking. They need to fully feel and experience it all and then you will need to support them during the aftermath. They will Mourne and they have to Mourne for a considerable amount of time. My kids held her while passing and stayed with her caressing for quite a longtime after then they made all kinds of drawings plaques, reminders and we talked about her a lot remembering and acknowledging the loss. It's painful but I think the worse thing is "trying to make it easier". You shouldn't make it easier by lying or masking you should just be there for them and acknowledge the full extend of the loss.

Thank you so much for all this advice x