to ask how ofter you socialise with your colleagues?

[user78665099]

So in my current job we don't socialise much as colleagues. We have a Christmas party (pre covid) and maybe the odd night out during the year (if someone leaves/special birthday)
I chat with colleagues during lunch but don't socialise outside of work ( no colleagues on facebook/whatapp).
I like it like this keeping my home and work life separate.
I have just got a new job and was doing a bit of facebook stalking on someone who I will be working in the same department as. I know her through a mutual friend.
The team have regular team days out - paddle boarding, zip wiring, rock climbing etc. They have regular nights out too, looked like it was weekly night out (pre covid)
I know I probably sound like a right moody cow but I'm not sure I'm going to fit in with this team, I don't want to come across as not been a team player but I'm just not a sociable person.
AIBU?

I dont socialise with my colleagues at all. No interest in spending my time off with them. Those team days out sound like hell

I don't. At all. I'm another that likes the separation between home and work and I've told my team that I'm a grumpy bugger who finds socialising difficult. They're all fine with it.

Agree I’d hate those team days! I have Friday lunch occasionally with two of my colleagues but not often. When I worked in London there was more of a culture of getting out together

I've always kept work and social very separate. Not particularly deliberately, but that's how things worked out when I had amlong commute (so didn't live near colleagues) and now it's how I like it.

Where I am now, there are lots of close friendship groups always together at weekends and whilst I don't actually want to be a part of it, it does make me feel excluded that I'm not, which is all my own fault and choice. I suspect I'm just not a very good fit for this culture.

@TrophyWinner

I've always kept work and social very separate. Not particularly deliberately, but that's how things worked out when I had amlong commute (so didn't live near colleagues) and now it's how I like it.

Where I am now, there are lots of close friendship groups always together at weekends and whilst I don't actually want to be a part of it, it does make me feel excluded that I'm not, which is all my own fault and choice. I suspect I'm just not a very good fit for this culture.

That's what worries me that I won't be a good fit. Im thinking twice about accepting the job, I don't hate my current job it's just short staffed and stressful at the moment.

YANBU. It sounds like a work culture geared towards extroverts or people who don’t have responsibilities which make them need to head home after work. I used to attend every work drinks in my twenties but as I got older I barely attended anything as I didn’t have the time or inclination. If you do accept the job, I’d make it very clear at the start that you have LOTS of things on after work that keep you busy and you won’t be able to attend every social event. And then just do stuff at Christmas and anything else that you do fancy.

I have met some of my closest friends through work (you have to meet friends somewhere after all).

In my current role we generally do after work drinks one night of the week but it’s mostly “who fancies a drink?” than anything formal

I am really close with a few of my current colleagues and we have had nights out/day trips away from work

Don’t think it’s anything to do with extrovert/introvert as I am definitely an introvert.

Maybe it’s my type of role but we do all have a lot in common so maybe that’s why we gravitate to be friends too

2/3 times a year including Xmas party. Only once since covid kicked off though.

Oh that sounds like an actual nightmare. I would find something else.

@Flabbyflabberson

Oh that sounds like an actual nightmare. I would find something else.

I think I will, I don't see me fitting in with the team.