Man who bullied me awarded

[kitchenSink5]

An old boss, who bullied me for a number of years, has just been given an award by an external body/organisation. A video made to celebrate this award mentions the contributions he has made in various areas... including harassment and BULLYING. Well he has certainly made a massive contribution in this area - I am not his only victim - probably not quite what the external body meant though.

My organisation is large and I proactively avoid having to do any work near this man but the mere mention of his name sends me into a panic.

I did report him years ago but my organisation did nothing meaningful about it. So I know there is literally nothing I can do now. But oh how I would love to publicly call him out on the award vid that is up on YouTube.

AIBU in this fantasy?

A little bit I’m afraid. I think it will most likely hurt you more than him.

Very true @Spitspotsput -which is so bloody frustrating

You can write to this organisatiom.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, kitchenSink5.

I was seriously bullied by a former boss and it had a huge impact on me and my life. Thankfully I was offered a dream role at precisely the point at which I'd decided not to return, so I had a relatively smooth exit, but I was incredibly ill over the whole thing. Because of the gaslighting I also didn't see that it wasn't me, even when the counsellor I'd been seeing for anxiety showed me a worksheet about "The Dominator" that just clicked, and when I was contacted by a lawyer representing a colleague who had made a complaint about the same bully. It took a call from a woman in my former position a few years later, saying exactly the same kind of things I had been saying. She also got out and has gone on to do some fantastic work - I heard her on Women's Hour recently and she is very impressive.

It saddens me to think that at least two other people (likely many more) had a similar experience and I do wonder if my speaking out would have put a stop to some of it. I just wasn't in a place to do that at the time.

I would also be upset and angered if my bully were given an award for work on Bullying and Harassment but sadly, I fear that speaking out publicly would do far more harm to you than him. I agree with PP's suggestion though of possibly contacting the organisation bestowing the recognition and letting them know.

Generally I'm all for forgiveness, and I've done plenty of stupid stuff in my time that I home people don't judge me by, but there is a limit, and certainly the stuff I experienced was beyond it.

I hope you're OK.

Oh you poor thing, what a kick in the gut.

I didn’t quite understand what you meant, does he have other victims?
I’d have to call him out. But that’s me. I definitely appreciate you feel it would do you more harm than good and admire you for not being like me.

Bullies seem to thrive in organisations that are theoretically doing good. By that I mean the more pious, the worse the bullying. So charities, hospitals, not for profit orgs all seem prone to it. I think it’s something to do with bullies feeling less vulnerable because they are in a job that makes them feel self righteous.
The OP case is similar in that you have someone being a bully while getting an award for fighting it - classic hide in plain sight.
Feel for you OP, but pragmatically I would not do the YouTube th7bg but would document and write to his organisation so they can’t pretend that they had no idea at all.

I would be wary of publicly calling him out unless you've got independent evidence to support your allegations - e.g. an upheld grievance.

Otherwise the bastard might sue you .