Like a bolt out of the blue, I received a letter today from my father, a man I’ve had no contact with whatsoever for close to 2 decades.
I’ll be totally honest, he was never a dad, and certainly never a good role model or father figure. I only ever lived with him briefly, for a few months as a very young adult, and always had quite a distant relationship - as a kid I’d visit in the school holidays, but that was all. He never contributed to my upbringing, whether financially or otherwise, and often vanished for considerable periods of time - sometimes to prison, others because he’d taken up with somebody else and was trying to model a new family for himself.
I’ve absolutely no idea what’s gone on in his life since we last had any contact, and I’m sure he doesn’t know a great deal about mine either - although he’s managed to track me down across the other side of the country, and I’ve cropped up once or twice in the media recently through my work, so he’s probably more to go on than I have.
To his credit, the letter comes across as quite sincere - there’s no attempt to make excuses, no self pity, just a “here’s where I am if you want to talk” kinda thing and an acknowledgement that I may not want to and if he doesn’t hear from me then he accepts that, which given the past is strangely endearing in its own way.
I really don’t know what to make of it - he’s not somebody I ever envisaged having contact with again after how things were left, but I guess 20 years is a very long time and I know I’m certainly a very, very different person to who I was back then. I don’t know whether to take hold of the olive branch and see what he has to say, whether to acknowledge the fact that he’s got in touch or whether to simply file it away (or even bin it?) and carry on as I was?
I know I need to take some time to gather my thoughts, but I also needed to share this with somebody, and given the backstory and the past this had to be with people who don’t know me, so forgive my rambling.
As to my AIBU, I guess -
AIBU to not follow this up?
AINBU to wonder, and maybe see what he has to say?