I suspect I probably am!

[LolaTheShowgirl]

My nan died 5 years ago. She was the light of my life, and took me in just before she passed away as I was having troubles at home. She was more of a mum to me than my own mother was in many ways and was my best friend. I never fell out with my nan, even in my angst teen days so her death was horrible and still haunts me now. I am still grieving and can't talk about her or look at any pictures of her or even think about her as it is so painful. She was my only nan as my fathers side never saw me.

My mum married recently and his mum is lovely. Probably the only member of my step-family that I like and who is genuine. She doesn't celebrate Christmas (none of them do infact) due to their faith but we still send presents over for them. When we were shopping for cards, I informed my mum I would get my step-grandma one that says 'Someone Special' as i'd feel uncomfortable sending her a 'grandma/nanna' one as I don't see her as that (I call her by her first name) and no one will replace my nan and my mum agreed, so that was that.

Now today my mum has wrapped the gift I bought for step-grandma and on the tag has wrote 'To my special nan, love Lola x'. I'm grateful for her wrapping it, but why she didn't leave it for me, i'm not sure. I am upset at what she wrote...'nan' and when I read it I thought of my real nan and got all upset.

I know i'm being totally petty but i'm feeling so sensitive and emotional (that time of the month, I think!) that I just wanted to write my feelings down, otherwise the slightest thing sends me into a rage or meltdown.

Thanks for listening!

[brusselbeansprouts]

Not petty at all, how you feel is entirely understandable. It's up to you how you define your relationship with this woman, not anyone else. I'm sure your mum meant well but it might be worth just letting her know that your nan is very special to you and you don't feel that anyone else can take her place. I hope she understands.

[edam]

Aw, I'm sorry about your nan. I imagine your mother was only trying to be helpful but can understand why it hurt.

I still miss my Granny, who died eight years ago. It's her birthday on the 29th so Christmas is always bittersweet now.

[lulumama]

explain how you feel to your mum

and move out in the new year

[JoyeuxNoelBiggy]

Can you put another tag on? Even re-wrap it?

Completely understand where you're coming from. Your mum probably doesn't realise there's an issue.

[Scotia]

Lola, just unwrap it and do it again yourself. I understand - my granny has alzheimers and doesn't even know any of us any more. I'm grieving the loss of someone who is still alive.

[LolaTheShowgirl]

Thanks so much for your replies! I expected to be slated for being a meany at Christmas! My mum knows how much my nan meant to me, I think maybe she just didn't think when she wrote it. In the grand scheme of things it's silly and they're only words - words could never decribe the love for my nan, but I never want my nan (sat on the fluffiest cloud!) to think I forgot her or didn't love her as we didn't have time to say our goodbyes. So sorry about your Granny edam It's my nans birthday on the 30th Dec so Christmas is the same here.

[LolaTheShowgirl]

More replies Lulu, been looking at houses the past few days...found a gorgeous cottage out in the country at an excellent price so hoping to see that after the holidays before it gets snapped up! I'm sure if I told my mum or re-wrote the tag she would kick off big time - she's so unapproachable, so I'll probably just leave it. I always feel much better after i've poured out my feelings on here anyway. Scotia...it is so sad about your granny That must be so tough for you and your family

Thanks all for listening