GYM TIME

[StartingAllOverOneMoreTime]

Just after a little advice really.... my partner has recently joined a gym for the first time in quite a few years for health and fitness reasons. I am currently going to another gym myself and have done for quite a while now. This new gym is a much nicer and better equipped than my current gym. I initially wanted to join the same gym as them and we could go together and workout with them as an occasional gym buddy. We had discussed that it wouldn't be every time that we'd go together as we work different hours, I would go either before or after work and we could possibly go together at the weekend. My partner has basically told me in no uncertain terms that they do not wish me to join the same gym as them? How would you feel about that?

I'd think he's just embarrassed and shy and doesn't want you seeing him humbling around with the equipment, not knowing where things are etc.

You say you're a gym-goer, the last thing he wants is his partner critiquing him as he's trying to get back in to shape.

Basically, it's nothing to do with you and it's his own insecurities that he needs to work on. Give it a couple of months, let him establish a routine and get his bearing at his new gym, then suggest you join.

I wouldn't want to work out with my husband. Gym time is me time. I don't blame your partner for feeling the same way. If their gym is better equipped than yours, why didn't you join it before?

I can't think of anything worse than working out with my DH. I actively avoid it.

I never want a gym buddy. I hate the idea. I like to go to the gym and do my thing alone. Don't want to chat, don't want someone seeing my resistance or weight levels, don't want anyone's input unless they're a professional and I ask.

I work out with my husband and he motivates me; but people tend to be shocked that it works for us. We also work together, so maybe we’re just used to being around each other - and I’d never consider the gym as “me time”, I don’t enjoy it enough

If he’s not comfortable with it, leave it for now. Find another gym if yours isn’t well enough equipped.

Some people just prefer a place or thing to be their own time. I wouldn't read anything into it. I would also hate working out with DH. He would almost certainly try to "teach" me something and that never goes well.

If your gym doesn't have something that you specifically want to use, you can lobby them to get it, but if you didn't take action to find a "nicer" gym before, that's on you really.

He will be embarrassed that you will look far more proficient on the equipment than he will, and any lack of fitness will really show in the first few weeks. Understandable really. If you want a nicer gym (also understandable), just pick a different gym. Maybe when he has got the hang of it, you could go together?

Urgh, I'd hate to work out with my husband.

He goes cycling, I go to the gym. He'd probably hate it if I took up cycling with him.

I am at the same gym as my partner, if we go together though we both do our own thing and just agree on a rough time we will meet for a drink after!

Nope. I wouldn’t want to workout with my husband in tow. I do my thing at the gym, I have friends there, I have my PT, and I see it as my domain. If he tried to join it I’d probably ask him not to or I’d leave. 🤷🏼‍♀️

You were happy with your gym until he joined his. I'd definitely leave him to workout alone and have his own space.