Work issue. Please advise?

[Buttercupmoon]

Trying to keep the details as vague as possible so as not to identify myself. I would really appreciate some perspectives on this issue. A new team leader is now in charge of our small team at work. She is generally behind on all tasks, which are jointly worked on with myself which I have found very frustrating. She is forgetful and also can be snappy and argumentative when asked about where a piece of work is. Before xmas I tried to prompt her to make sure the agenda for our team’s meeting was completed by giving her some suggestions of what to put in. She wrote these down and said she would send the agenda out in advance. Come the meeting, no agenda and our service leads are present. She turns to me and asks me where the agenda is. I tell her that she was meant to do it. Then throughout the meeting she refers to the agenda that ‘we’ forgot to send and finishes the meeting to say that I will remember to send the agenda next time.

I emailed her following this meeting to express how upset I was and now she has called other team members and our service lead to say she is upset with me.

She has not turned up to any subsequent planning meetings with me and taken sick leave.

I have to work closely with this woman and really don’t know what to do. I would so appreciate any advice.

why do you need to do anything ? you made your point and shes off sick now
what were you thinking of doing ?

I'm confused what point you are trying to make here. Why didn't you just draw up the agenda and send it to here to complete? Then, in the meeting, when she asked where it was, you could have produced your version. That would have made you look efficient and proactive in front of the service leads.

If she comes back to work then you need to have policy to chase her gently for things that matter (like you would draft an Agenda & ask for her rubber stamp on it, send it out as draft for people to revise or comment on, this saves you stress & aids your job & saves her face if she can't keep on top of details).

Sounds like she is showing herself to everyone as not up to the job, not your problem to manage her.

She'll probably take as much sick leave as possible and then leave. Do nothing, and definitely don't complain about her to anybody (even casually with your team mates).

It's very poor that she implied you should have done something she said she was going to do. Hopefully others have picked up that this was the case.
Next time, draft an agenda, send it to her for approval with "let me know any amendments before I send it to the rest of the team tomorrow". Maybe forward that email to the rest of the team, rather than writing a fresh email, so that if she subsequently complains that it is not satisfactory in any way, others can see that she was given the chance to make amendments.
Similarly with other tasks: complete your bits as professionally as you can, email her with what you've done and what she needs to add - perhaps with some sort of deadline before you forward it on as it is.

Personally it depends on if you want her job or not.

If so, pick it all up so that she looks extra shite if she comes back.

If not, sit back and watch her crash and burn.

It sounds as if she is not up to the job so don't volunteer to help her out, she is the manager and she's already shown she will throw you under a bus, even after you prompted her.

It sounds like everyone's spent longer talking about an agenda that it would have taken to just write one and put it in the meeting invite, seriously it's a less than 5 minute job to do.

Send her a draft and ask her to review it, make any amendments and send it out/add it to the invite.

As a rule, everywhere I've worked, it is not the team leader's job to create the agenda but usually the most junior person. That person would then circulate ahead of the meeting. Does she think it's your job? Why are you reminding her if it's her job and you work for her? I think the lines are blurry here.

Also sounds like for whatever reason, she's not coping if she's off on sick leave. So for now, I'd leave it. But if she does come back, perhaps a discussion on who is responsible for what and what she wants you to do and then you do your work accordingly. If she subsequently blames you for something that is not your fault, then you may want to consider taking things further.

It sounds like a very confusing set up. Why are you telling your manager to do things rather than doing them yourself?

As a rule, everywhere I've worked, it is not the team leader's job to create the agenda but usually the most junior person.

Maybe who types the agenda up, but the person who is leading surely sets the agenda as it is their meeting and their team?

I’m a team leader and it’s my responsibility to send out the proposed agenda, I wouldn’t expect anyone else to do it. I would expect/ask someone else to take the minutes, though.

It sounds like your team leader is out of her depth, OP. Perhaps she has other issues going on in her life which are affecting her performance?

Get everything in writing, sounds like an HR issue waiting to happen. You need to make sure you've documented being totally reasonable and absolutely clear with her and her still failing. Then, when this comes back to bite you, you have proof you've acted professionally and reasonably. I'd probably also have a quiet word with her manager.

Paper trail! Even if she wont put things in writing to you, email her to confirm discussions and what she has said and agreed. Keep copies of them. Keep them somewhere safe if she has any access to your computer.

It sounds like she is another person promoted out of her depth (local authority or NHS?) and it is expected that other people will pick up the slack.

Email after every conversation in future for the inevitable post-mortem when everything goes tits up - assuming she ever returns from sick leave.

Keep HR and her manager in the loop in case she takes the “I am being bullied” route with you as the bully - as an excuse for her poor performance.

@Wheresmywoolyjumpers

Paper trail! Even if she wont put things in writing to you, email her to confirm discussions and what she has said and agreed. Keep copies of them. Keep them somewhere safe if she has any access to your computer.

This is exactly what I thought. However I also have a suspicion that she will either leave following her sick leave or make so public a mistake as to get the push!

She is obviously not coping with the job. Why should you be blamed for her failings. I agree with e-mailing after every meeting with her and copy to the manager. Stating briefly what was discussed and who was doing what.

Hmmm.

I know it's not good being put on the spot in meetings but I think you could have handled this slightly differently.

I try not to drop people in it in meetings infront of everyone but did it to you so I dont think you had much choice to say it wasnt your responsibility.

Outside the meeting though I'd not have emailed her to say you were upset, id have just kept it factual and emailed her and maybe copied in the others if relevant and said 'please see below my suggestions for the agenda today, I cant trace any communication to say I was responsible for completing this work so please let me know if I've missed this somewhere. Shall we agree responsibilities for this going forward so we can avoid a similar situation next time? I'm happy to provide my suggestions for agenda items by a week prior to the meeting and complete it and distribute it in your absence if notice is given' or something like that so it's being a bit more constructive

Also agree put everything in writing!

I suspect that even if she does return from sick leave, she won't be around for long after that. Take the opportunity of her current absence to seize control of the meeting agenda and then you can apply for her job...

I wouldn’t have handled the agenda issue in the meeting by blaming her. I would have apologised and taken responsibility but then resent it to her afterwards saying something like “sorry, I thought I was waiting for you to agree this but I will circulate next time” or similar. Blaming your manager in a meeting is a really bad idea, even if they blamed you first. Take the high ground!

That said, she’s off now: I wouldn’t turn this into drama.