Aibu to be upset about nursery.

[Miya24]

Just a pre warning this is probably a non issue but I feel very sad after dropping my DD off this morning.
We previously tried potty training her when she turned 2, however she just wasn't really understanding so we decided to stop and try again later. One of the problems is she drinks lots of water and needs to wee frequently resulting in us changing her all the time. The nursery have mentioned this frequently as they're concerned about her but after multiple visits to the doctor we know she's not diabetic and have just been told it's habitual which we have informed the nursery of. (According to mil DH was exactly the same when he was her age so I'm not that worried).
Anyway this week I've been potty training again and DD is doing so much better. We're still doing nappy free before switching to underwear but I was so proud of her I wanted to tell nursery about her progress. However her key worker just dismissed it and started on again about how much she drinks and how wet her nappies were ect. It may have been she thought I was saying she's ready to use the potty at nursery but even as I explained that I was just informing her about her progress she just cut me off and talked about how not ready DD was yet.
Now I'm not kidding myself that the nursery staff are going to be as excited as I am but for her key worker to not even seem interested or to acknowledge her progress just left me feeling sad. But I am known to be overly sensitive. Am I being ridiculous to feel upset?

Tbh no point potty training until ready. I had several friends who potty trained at two and had so many accident s until 3. I waited till DD told me she wanted pants..no accident s and no hassle. Honestly just roll with it. There is no race with potty training...if nursery says she not ready sounds like she isn't from what you said.

I suspect drop off isn't the time for a more lengthy catch up when they may be taking in a number all at once. I used to find pick up they generally had more time to interact as they were more staggered due to people finishing working at different times.

Drop of is normally chaos.

Nothing has changed from nurseries POV yet so no need for them to be that interested

They don't have time for chats about potty training at drop off time.
You could limit your daughters water to snack and meal times (unless it's a very hot day) and it won't do her any harm. Might help with training.

IDK, I just feel like people cutting me off, dismissing what I say in order to talk about their own pet topic is just everyday life for me. Yeah it's annoying and hurtful but at the same time if I dwelled on every single interaction like that I'd scarcely have time for anything else.

You just wanted her keyworker to show she was interested in your DD by listening to your small story, but unfortunately she didn't have time to listen, or didn't want to listen. Drop-off is a busy time, see how the key worker is at other times. If she is good with your DD in other ways then great, if not then decide if you want a new key worker (is DD due to change room soon anyway?) / switch nurseries etc.

How old is DD- I don’t expect them to be excited but I do expect them to support the training. Is she in nappies at nursery and bare at home?

Drinking lots isn't necessarily a problem for potty training - I encourage children to drink more when potty training as the more times they wee, the more practice they have. But if she's still doing lots of small, frequent wees then that might be a sign that she's not quite physically ready - one of the signs of readiness I look for is that they can do bigger, more spaced out wees, you notice that their nappy is staying dry for a good while and then they do a big wee.
I would also say that potty training is usually more successful if you make a commitment to it and are consistent across home/nursery - getting them to use the potty at home but putting them back in nappies for nursery can be a bit confusing.

I think it was probably timing and the keyworker was in a rush, but if you think she's ready for potty training, can you ask if there's a time you can have a proper chat about it, take their ideas on board and come up with a plan together.

How old is she? Regardless of how much water she drinks, they do need to be physically capable of holding it for around at least an hour for proper training to be successful, otherwise you’re basically doing elimination communication and getting lucky when you catch it in the potty, and that is completely unsustainable when out of the house. Nursery will have successfully trained a lot of kids - if they reckon she’s not ready I’d be inclined to listen.

YANBU to be proud of your DD for doing well.
YABU to be upset at nursery and do sound over sensitive (I am too so not a criticism). She sounds like she was busy this morning or the chat was a bit misinterpreted.

As an aside DS potty trained after turning 3 and did it in a few days (dry day and night) personally I'd save yourself the hassle and just do it when she's ready. DS drinks absolutely LOADS too.

With my 2 potty training was a joint effort between myself & nursery, with them doing the heavy lifting coz mine were in full time.
Agree with pp pick up might be less hectic than drop off but it needs to be a conversation for consistency for your child.

You are being really over sensitive, and unreasonable. I’m not sure what you really wanted the nursery to say

A quick well done to you wouldn't have taken too much time. I understand your upset but I guess maybe she was just focused on sorting the kids as it was drop off.

Depending on how old she is I would be airing on the side of caution l, especially if nursery say she isn't ready.

What was your plan with regards to her being at nursery are you also expecting them to continue training her, in which case a quick chat to say she's training is fine or have you put her back in nappies because if it's the latter she's going to be incredibly confused. It really does need to be a joint effort working with nursery.

I think everyone is being a bit harsh. Yes drop off isn’t the time for a lengthy catch up but if you are sharing something positive about your DDs development, and her key worker responded wholly negatively, I can see why it would be deflating for you.

I never try and discuss anything at drop off...my sons keyworker isn't a morning person! Perfectly lovely with the kids though. I wouldn't take it personally and be proud of how well your wee girl is doing :)

I can see why you're upset that they don't seem interested but it sounds too soon for your daughter, two of mine chose to go without nappies at 2y 4m but the twins were needed a bit of encouragement at 3, I can't even remember when my fifth child stopped wearing nappies but I was happy to keep her in them as long as she was happy to wear them, was probably around 2.5 when she refused and was dry straight away because she was ready, it'll all be fine, take her lead

How old is she?

I’d be very concerned about giving her mixed messages by putting her back in nappies for nursery. If you’re sure she’s ready then the nappies should be gone except bedtime.

@Flickflak

Why would they be excited? When you tell them that she’s wearing undies they’ll need to know more but not until then.

This

I know what you mean but my youngest child's nursery was so good with situations like this my son is speech delayed I casually mentioned we had learned a new word (flower) so they could understand what he was saying (what is clear to me isn't clear to others understandably) and they spent the day reinforcing The word he had drawings went into the garden to point at more flowers etc etc it was unexpected but great!

With the potty training they were really supportive star charts regularly taking him to the potty stepping back to let him access it independently trying everything to encourage him to try I put him in pullups when he had a step back they acted like he was in pants and reminded him to pee regularly I couldn't have asked for more

Maybe it's your nursery and you not being a good fit

I'd email them. That's what I did with DD as it meant I wasn't rushed and could explain it fully without forgetting important bits! And meant they could refer back to it.

Also, we went all in - after her days at home, we sent her in pants to nursery. She had quite a few accidents first few days, which is totally normal, and then it clicked and she's been absolutely dry there since.

Did you send her in nappies? Perhaps nursery just didn't understand that you want them to be doing any potty training with her. If you want them to do it, I'd make it obvious, send her in pants and a ton of changes of clothes, let them know she's in pants, and let them go for it.

Also DD drinks a lot and wees a lot and when we started potty training there were loads wees, but part of potty training is them getting used to not just letting pee come out whenever, so there probably will be a lot of smaller pees at first until she gets used to the feeling of being wet and can hold.