Emotional support from husband

[bestbl]

Do you feel emotionally supported by your husband? If you do could you list the things they do to make you feel emotionally supported?

My husband can't seem to cope with any challenging emotion that I have. I now feel like I can't tell him my worries. Which after 2 years of the pandemic and being at home all day together I feel extremely lonely and anxious because I feel I have to absorb my worries.

For instance I had bleeding from where I shouldn't be bleeding and had raised proteins in my blood so sent for urgent colonoscopy and was really scared. I had no support and that HE couldn't cope with this.

I've been suffering some work related anxiety recently and can't share it because his reaction will just make it worse.

Is this common with men? Do women turn to friends more for emotional support? I would love to know peoples experiences and who you turn to in times of need to know if my experience is abnormal. Thank you

No, it's not common for men. I'm a rock and support for my wife and will do anything and everything to make her feel supported and I know her female friends, bar one, describe there partners as a rock

How are you doing now op? Health wise? That does sound like a worrying time

Do you have anyone else in your life you can turn to? Sadly I don't have anyone now, but back in the day my friends were my emotional support (and cheap therapy!) and I don't really get understanding from my DH, we've discussed it a lot, but always end up back at square one. It's just the dynamic of our relationship I suppose.

I'm trying to work on myself, trying to do lots of self care (breathing exercises, writing things down, walking) so that works for me. Also the wee hours are a hard time of day, so things seem worse ime (not minimising your situation)

In terms of work- can your line manager help at all?

@wherestheescapekey thanks so much for responding. Your words are so comforting.

Good to know I'm not alone feeling like this.

Health wise I'm ok, I have lost so much weight however as I'm just so anxious.

I feel like no husband and wife should see each other all day everyday. It's uncovered traits that I wouldn't have seen if we were both at work all day. We've been together 13 years and the pandemic has just shone a light on how little emotional support he is able to give me.

I like to think that I am compassionate and ask him how he is and ask leading questions and enjoy discussions that may be stimulating but I never get ANY emotion from him. It's just such hard work.

I am just willing him to go back to the office so we can have some distance as his energy is draining the life out of me.

I have luckily found a great group of girl friends who I feel very close to who I think will be my emotional crutch but I just wish it could be my husband.

Maybe he’s unsupportive or maybe your expectations are unrealistic, endlessly supporting and reassuring someone is exhausting

@northernparent86 yes it is, I agree. But surely you can express a negative emotion now and again and a hug and some compassion would be a reasonable response from a caring husband.

This isn't a daily or weekly or even monthly request. I have had 3 'issues' in the past year that I've tried to express and I am met with total indifference.

I wanted to know if this was other women's experience? Or I just have a cold hearted husband

Generally I would say he's extremely supportive emotionally. We did have a rough patch where each of us was going through a significant life event at the same time as having a new baby. I think both of us were so emotionally exhausted that we didn't have the capacity to care for each other properly. But we both worked on it.

Is there something going on with him? If not, then you should be able to share your worries with him and get support from him. But I would say that if your suffering with anxiety about things then some counselling would be a good option, it would help you and take the load off him.