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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mixed teen sleepover

20 replies

Summertime2 · 05/01/2022 21:34

DD16 has asked to have a sleepover with 6 of her friends. Total of 5 girls, 2 boys. One girl and boy somewhat romantically involved though too shy for anything to have happened.

My immediate reaction is "no way".

DD, who identifies as a lesbian, though not yet had any romantic involvement, says this is not logical since stuff could just as easily happen if it was all girls.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
woohoo54 · 05/01/2022 21:36

No way. What if someone was to get pregnant or raped? I'd say when they're 18 they can do what they want. 16 is too young.

Original poster
Summertime2 · 05/01/2022 21:37

That was my argument. Massive eye roll from DD

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 05/01/2022 21:39

I'd be fine with it.

Mum2jenny · 05/01/2022 21:41

If all sleeping in the same room, I’d be ok with it. However there’s unlikely to be much sleeping and plenty of talking and giggling.

Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 05/01/2022 21:43

At 16 these teens could be flat sharing ffs!!

RagzReturnedUnwrapped · 05/01/2022 21:44

I'd be fine with it (if I had a big enough house and some ear plugs!), but we were having adult free house parties when I was that age. You do not want to know what we got up to... At least having you there they will be a bit more sensible.

Morgan12 · 05/01/2022 21:45

I'd be okay with it. The won't have an orgy so doubtful any sex would happen.

gogohm · 05/01/2022 21:47

I let mine, I knew the lads well though (and their parents)

Stichintime · 05/01/2022 21:47

I wouldn't want the responsibility or the drama from any fall out.

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 05/01/2022 21:48

My kids have mixed parties all the time, they’re just mates, male and female. Although I have caught a couple snogging occasionally, but two of those were girls so not sure there’s any point in separating the sexes 😂

bg21 · 05/01/2022 21:48

@woohoo54

No way. What if someone was to get pregnant or raped? I'd say when they're 18 they can do what they want. 16 is too young.
wtf ?? extreme answer
merryhouse · 05/01/2022 21:54

S1 and his mixed group of friends had sleepovers from about 14 (mostly at one of the girls' houses). Two of them were romantically involved in Y13. I admit it never occurred to me that it was a problem Blush - they're a Nice Group of kids, at least three of whom attended church regularly, and they were well-educated in contraception, safe sex and issues of consent.

They don't need a sleepover to have sex; and they're unlikely to have sex for the first time when surrounded by their other friends, surely?

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 05/01/2022 21:55

No no no

Poppiesway1 · 05/01/2022 21:57

Things can happen during the day when hanging out.. doesn’t have to be on a sleepover..
Theyre 16.. do you trust you dd?
I let my ds15 go on a sleepover with 4girls (3 of whom are gay) admittedly it took them a while to talk me into agreeing. But they’re all very sensible and were disgusted at my thoughts of what possibilities could happen between them.
As it was he came home shattered the next day as they all stayed up watching films and playing Xbox and no sleep!

MissMaple82 · 05/01/2022 21:58

When I was that age, it was quite normal to have mixed sleepovers

AlexaShutUp · 05/01/2022 22:03

My dd is 16 and has been to quite a lot of mixed sleepovers. I don't see a problem with it now at all, though I remember seeing threads on here about it when she was little and thinking no way! Grin

A lot of her friends are boys. They're just friends. Some of the girls are lesbian or bi. I figure that any teenagers who are determined enough to have sex will find a way to do it anyway, with or without staying over. And actually, they're not very likely to get up to much in a room full of their peers!

As for the pregnancy risk... surely you teach your dc how to keep themselves safe and then hope that they follow what you've taught them?

The rape comment is random, as that could happen anywhere. Confused

Redwinestillfine · 05/01/2022 22:04

I see both sides. I would be ok if I had a separate room for the boys and if I had contact sea for all parentsto speak to them to make sure they know the score ( and if DD wasn't ok with that no deal).

Porcupineintherough · 05/01/2022 22:05

Ds1 and his friendship group (4 boys, 2 girls, 1 transboy) do sleepovers. They are 15/16. It's always been fine but I did speak to the girls' mums when they started (they were 13 then) so we could gauge what everyone was comfortable with. At ours they tend to sleep downstairs which is open plan. The girls/transboy have the option of a separate bedroom in which to sleep but they've never chosen to use it.

addictedtotheflats · 05/01/2022 22:05

When I was 16 my mixed group of friends had sleepovers most weekends at one of our homes. A few of us were in relationships but as we all slept in the same room we couldn't exactly do anything. We just snuck alcohol in and smoked fags out the bedroom window😂

DeepaBeesKit · 05/01/2022 22:08

they don't need a sleepover to have sex; and they're unlikely to have sex for the first time when surrounded by their other friends, surely?two 15 year olds in my class had sex in a sleeping bag behind a sofa, with friends in the room. The girl much later on told us she regretted it hugely and the peer pressure of friends being near by and thinking they were impressed contributed to her agreeing to it.

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