Anyone else feeling overwhelmed at how much they need to fix in their life?

[CrispJanuaryDay]

I feel lost and overwhelmed today. Completely exhausted after a lot of international travel over Christmas. I live abroad but have a very ill parent at home, it's just so hard. But it's not realistic for us to move home either.

I'm chronically ill myself and am so fed up of it. I have limited energy. I work so hard at managing my health and my doctors all say how well I'm doing but I'm so. fucking. tired. of. it.

I need to figure out how to make some money. I've never had a solid career due to my health (ill since childhood) but did scrape through education, with a lot of time out for sickness, to Masters level. I want to figure out how to manage to be a success even in a tiny part time way - I just need this for myself.

Our apartment is so tiny and bursting at the seams with stuff we cannot give away (for example, boxes of my medical supplies just sitting on the floor, because there's no storage space left). I cannot express how panicky and claustrophobic our apartment makes me feel. I never thought of myself who needs a big house etc before but it's just too small! Honestly feel my mental health taking a nosedive at the idea of spending another year here. But everywhere bigger is so expensive.

Is there anyone else taking stock this week, and wondering how the hell to make any progress?

Nobody else then?...

Yes, I have been for years, so much to do, so little energy. I've been chronically ill for years too.
I have a tatty house that needs work doing on it and little money so it's up to me to fix it.
My exP (we got on okay) died last year and it is still a struggle to clear her stuff, don't like going into her room tbh.

The only way I get stuff done is not to wait for motivation, choose one small thing and finish the task.

Yes, everything . Failing at adulting, need to prepare for my future, no money, little prospects, fat, unfit, need to change so much.

Yes, totally !

What can you realistically change? It sounds very hard but there are plenty of resources on how to maximise your storage if you are determined.

In terms of employment do you currently work? Have specific ambitions?

I was at this point at the beginning of the week. However, I've somehow managed to turn it into a positive. Yes there is so much that I need to do, however, there is actually something I'm able to do about the issues I'm having. I also realised that yes I'm unwell, but im trying to live my life as if I'm a well person and I'm not giving myself enough leniency for my conditions.

So yes there's a lot to fix, but there's also small baby steps I can take.

Hope you ok OP.
We have four kids in a smallish house and a dog -drives me bonkers. However, we are minimalists and find space where there is none. I only have one of everything such as one frying. Ona, one pair of scissors, one shower gel etc.

We both work and have little time. There was a great thread on here the other day about simplifying your life.

Even a nice box in the living room which could be used as a seat/ table for your medication.

With regards to mental health I just take myself off to lie on the bed and look out of the window at the sky. I was to be a stress head but also read Eckhart Tolle The power of now which really helped.

Yes. Everything in my house needs sorting (thanks broken dishwasher yesterday for tipping me over the edge) and I have a teen school refuser who takes up colossal amounts of my time. I'm so numb I don't cry anymore.

If I had 6 months off to focus on it I think I might get somewhere and be able to think again.

That sounds so tough. International travel will leave you feeling very tired even without a chronic illness.

I have chronic fatigue and ADHD and get stuck in the trap of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by everything and not getting anything done. Sometimes having a shower seems too much.

Some things that help me are:
Self care - sleep, healthy food, being in nature and talking to friends.
Spending 10 minutes every morning writing down the 3 most important things I need to do for the day.
I've been listening to an audiobook called Tiny Habits, which has some good ideas about changing your life using tiny steps.

I am just starting to look into decluttering, not minimalism but really reducing my belongings and clearing my space.
I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos for inspiration - not just decluttering but things like people living purposefully in tiny houses / boats / motor homes etc. It really makes you realise how little we actually need.

I would start by cleaning out as much as possible, you don’t need to move OP, you just need to be more ruthless getting rid of stuff.
Donate what you can, offer anything good quality free locally if people can collect and recycle / dump the rest.

I very much believe in creating space in the physical sense to create space in the mind.

It’s a bit woo, but it always helps me after having a good clear out and putting a bit of effort into my surroundings.

Absolutely.

Marriage is failing
House is a shithole - I'm trying to get it sorted but hate sending stuff to landfill so I'm putting stuff on freecycle which is a nightmare in itself as twats keep asking for stuff then not turning up to collect.
DF is ill which is stressful
I'm desperate to escape it all and it feels like a massive mountain to climb.
I was actually thinking earlier, if we humans just had an "off" switch, I'd flick it right now.

I think I had this kind of year last year. Dp unexpectedly needed to work abroad. The dcs hit peak teen. It was then one thing after another all bloody year. Everything broke or needed replacing, installing, removing, fixing, whatever. Spent my life on the phone chasing people up. It did get done but god it was stressful and I just had to take it all one day at a time.

Took a car load to charity today and can still see more to go. It's a never ending war against clutter.

Yes, me too. I've also been chronically ill for years (since my early 20s), I struggled to hold onto my job for many years & lost it a while ago due to my health. Our LL sold our house shortly before the pandemic, due to my lack of income we couldn't find anywhere else so we were homeless for a while. Got another place (HA house) but there are still boxes in various places as we can't afford shelves or cupboards for it all yet. DD's room is awful, MIL keeps bringing toys, books, games every time she comes over (thankfully a lot less since the pandemic started) but DD struggles to get rid of anything. I try to encourage her to be proactive about getting rid of things she's too old for but DH is a total enabler. He is a bit of a hoarder but I've made him keep most of his crap in a storage unit across town, & told him once all the "family stuff", & the last couple of bits of my stuff are retrieved from there, I'm not contributing to paying for storing his enormous collection of books, music, films, & general bits & pieces. It's coming out of his money - we only shares finances in so far as we have a joint account for fixed bills etc. He has always been rubbish with money. Hopefully once he realises that most of "his" money each month is going on a storage unit full of stuff he's not using at all, he'll be more motivated to start clearing it out. We don't have (can't afford) a car so it's not as simple as just dropping things off at a charity shop/the tip/buyers on freecycle etc.

I have just now remembered we need to re send the forms to school for DD's ASD assessment, as they have just realised they no longer have them. We've been chasing them for months to get them back, they've just told us today that they don't actually have them...

I need to sort the dental appointments tomorrow, I got automated reminders over Christmas

On the plus side -
I've moved my tablet box downstairs next to my chair, I'm less likely to forget to take them there. They used to be next to my side of the bed, pointless.
I've started putting foot cream & fluffy socks on in the evening while I'm watching TV, a couple of times a week. Definitely helping.
I've started putting lip balm & hand cream on as I lay down to sleep, every night. Big improvement in just a week.
I've thrown out all my old & out of date medication. There wasn't much, but I sorted & date ordered the rest, so nothing else should go out of date, & I can easily see what I need to order/buy. I take several tablets daily.
I've started using my lists again on my phone. I have memory loss due to my illness, so if I need to do or buy something, it needs to go in my phone. Shopping, any appointments, whatever.