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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Searching for and watching weird videos. WARNING Possibly triggering.

51 replies

scorpiogirly · 03/01/2022 23:55

What would you think of a person who searched for and watched extreme execution videos?

Video 1 - burglar being repeatedly stabbed by a security guard

Video 2 - soldier being executed via knife to throat.

There are probably more. After watching, these were shown to friends… for some reason.

Sorry, I have tried to use wording that keeps it from being so graphic as I possible could.

Is this type of curiosity ever okay? What would be the motivation for watching such things?

OP posts:
Snugglepumpkin · 04/01/2022 05:21

If it was a child I'd be seeking a therapist for them & sorting out better ways to stop them having access to the internet.

If it was someone I was dating I'd be leaving them.

FlasherMcGruff · 04/01/2022 23:39

I think there’s a huge difference between watching crime documentaries (I like serial killer ones as the psychology interests me) without actually showing the actual acts of violence which would be stomach churning, and watching real video footage of people being killed / stabbed. The latter would suggest someone without the usual shock reflex / revulsion most of us would have to seeing a real person have their throat slit. If they actively seek this stuff out, I’d find it difficult to be around them because god knows what’s going on in their brain. Showing people the videos to get a shocked reaction is a worry. Is that a thrill for them, to see the horror as people realise it’s snuff / a murder etc?

On the other hand, it could be argued that some people can get incredibly desensitised to this stuff if they do jobs such as police work etc if they often see dead people / violence. I guess the difference for me is that you’d expect them to have respect for the victim and not see it as entertaining or something to deliberately seek out. That’s the worrying bit with your post.

BookFiend4Life · 05/01/2022 02:33

I thought this thread was going to be about cocomelon! I would be totally creeped out. If it was was partner I'd want them to see a doctor, if a friend idk what I would do.

CheeseMmmm · 05/01/2022 02:43

My first thought is that mainstream popular TV films are often vvv violent.

And on a screen is on a screen for lots of people understandably.

I'd find the right moment and say. I saw you've been searching xyz while I was looking for X (harder if looked when assumption/ agreement not to).

Why?
And wait see what say. Don't start offering answers. Was it because of this? That?

CheeseMmmm · 05/01/2022 02:44

I would be concerned for sure. See what they say.

Innocenta · 05/01/2022 02:47

Isn't it illegal to look for and watch terrorist execution videos? I may be completely wrong about that, but I thought it was.

I'm quite a morbid person but I'd still be extremely disturbed by this. To me it suggests very low empathy for the victims.

Kanaloa · 05/01/2022 02:48

I’d think it was creepy and weird. Firstly the searching for and watching them, and then secondly the utter lack of self awareness of showing them to other people. I would presume either they had issues with social awareness so didn’t know it was inappropriate, or they were actively trying to make others uncomfortable.

scorpiogirly · 05/01/2022 15:11

Thank you for all the replies and thoughts. It isn’t a teen, it’s a man in his 40s. Someone I am no longer involved with.

OP posts:
prettyteapotsplease · 05/01/2022 15:17

I'd find it disturbing and would suspect that they may hold extreme views and worse, act upon them. A civilised society does not condone such things.

halandpeeno · 05/01/2022 15:43

I had to watch things like this as part of my previous job. After 16 years there are still images I cannot unsee.
Unfortunately for some people the screen is an effective distancing mechanism. It's as if it is just a movie with parts played by actors.
I remember my BIL showing me some footage from the Japanese Tsunami of a man being swept away while trapped in his car. It wasn't until I said to him 'Do you realise you have just watched the final, desperate, terrifying moments of a humans life. He was in that car screaming for his life and you've just watched it as entertainment. He's dead now, he didn't survive'.
It was telling that his response was surprise. He didn't believe it and kept saying "I don't think so" and "I don't think they would show it if he was dead"
My job previously involved taking out all of that footage out if news reports. On the general internet there isn't that person overseeing. The rise of camera phones and CCTV also means that more if this stuff is recorded and almost anyone can throw it up onto reddit or elsewhere. Once it's out, it's out.

Personally I wouldn't want to have much to do with someone who seeks that out for fun.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 05/01/2022 15:51

I'd assume it's just curiosity.

I don't really see it as any different from you being fascinated by serial killers.

5128gap · 05/01/2022 15:55

I think a lot of people are very curious about taboo things. I admit that if I read of 'shocking pictures' on SM I look at them. I'm not weird, just like many people, compelled to see for myself things that someone has decided I shouldn't be looking at. Not sure why he would share them though.

XenoBitch · 05/01/2022 16:55

It all depends. If the person watching these videos was getting aroused by them, then I would be concerned. Or laughing at them.
If it was curiosity, then it would not bother me. I have watched similar videos on occasion. For me, it is curiosity.

Suzanne999 · 05/01/2022 18:03

@JordanCatalano4Eva

If they only watched two it could just be curiosity.

I follow a woman on instagram called mrs angemi she does autopsies and she runs a website called the gross room which you can subscribe to.It has some very graphic videos and photos on there of car accidents and people who have been murdered or committed suicide.I subscribe to it cause I find it really interesting,she also writes a lot of info about how the person died though it’s not just photos and videos.

OMG that’s horrendous. I don’t know what I’d do or how I’d cope if my DH’s post mortem was shown online. Bad enough it had to be done, took me years to come to terms with that.
Kanaloa · 05/01/2022 18:44

@XenoBitch

It all depends. If the person watching these videos was getting aroused by them, then I would be concerned. Or laughing at them. If it was curiosity, then it would not bother me. I have watched similar videos on occasion. For me, it is curiosity.
But why would you look up a violent video title then show it to others? What would inspire you to think ‘ah Jackie will love this video of someone getting stabbed?’

And how does the curiosity arise? I underhand the examples people gave of (for example) the Sadam video because everyone had seen it/talked about it so the curiosity comes from there. But to type in a random search like ‘terrorist execution video’ watch if (satisfying your curiosity) then share it with others is odd and creepy.

Scrabblecrabapple · 05/01/2022 19:08

Actively searching is odd. However when that KB video came out there was nothing really like it before, so I think some people didn’t realise how bad it was was, kind of beyond comprehension. So I know a fair few people who actively searched for it and massively regretted it. My poor Dh was shown it in the hairdressers!!! I think his stupid hairdressers thought it would be funny while he was getting a hair cut e.g scizzor in hand neck exposed. Hmm At the time though it was what a lot of people were talking about and sharing.

scorpiogirly · 05/01/2022 19:10

What's the KB video?

OP posts:
scorpiogirly · 05/01/2022 19:12

I should add, although I am interested in serial killers, it's the psychology behind it. I couldn't watch footage of how their victims met their end.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 05/01/2022 19:22

@XenoBitch

It all depends. If the person watching these videos was getting aroused by them, then I would be concerned. Or laughing at them. If it was curiosity, then it would not bother me. I have watched similar videos on occasion. For me, it is curiosity.
What are you curious about? What exactly do you hope to see and what will it satisfy in you?

How would you feel if it were one of your loved ones in the footage? Or if you were in some catastrophe, realised you were about to die and saw a camera capturing your last moments?

CitizenCandyKane · 05/01/2022 19:28

I once watched one of the hostage beheading videos. It was absolutely horrific. I will never forget it. I will always regret it. However, I'm not encouraging other people to watch it, I wouldn't pass it on, and I'm not a potential serial killer. Just foolish. I wouldn't worry.

BadgeronaMoped · 05/01/2022 19:39

I wonder about people who watch this sort of stuff too. DH was watching people discussing "the lathe" video, you know men and their banter... Turned out it had been shared in one of DH's group chats and he'd seen it too. Honestly, not much makes me anxious, but the fact that you can quite easily find stuff like this online, and sometimes videos become notorious so more people watch them. It makes me worry about my DC, I always tell them you can't unsee things and to be extremely cautious when friends show you their phone screen.

Nowayoutonlydown · 05/01/2022 19:41

They'd make me uneasy, the only two people I know who watch these types of videos, executions and people killing themselves and videos of that ilk are so out of touch they think it's also good to share them with other people.

Both are quite far removed from society, one spent 20 years in prison, the other has had virtually no real connections with anyone in the past 30 years and doesn't understand what is normal behaviour- IE thinks its appropriate to talk about how a young girl they know would be greatly improved by a bullet put through the back of their skull.

Not people I choose to be around, or trust the moral compass of.

BunsOfAnarchy · 05/01/2022 19:41

I remember about a decade ago when there hostage beheading videos were doing the rounds.
I refused to watch them. I cannot watch someone actually die on my screen through choice like that.
Its horrifying.
And I'm someone who watches a lot of crime documentaries (I'm talking for 20 years and not just netflix lol) due to my original career path, and studied a heavy amount of murder cases including crime scene photos etc.
But watching someone actually die for entertainment? Nope!
Its the same for when that guy got mauled to death by a tiger/lion in some zoo and every tit on FB shared it and I still refused to watch.
In fact I think i actually deleted my FB shortly after that and I'm glad I don't have to see this shit crop up again.
From my point of view, this is quite concerning. Being sent a video and watching out of curiosity is one thing, actually seeking it out for entertainment is disturbing

Bluebluemoon · 05/01/2022 19:46

I just don't understand why someone would want to watch something like this.

Being interested in true crime/serial killers is different IMO as it is more about the psychology of why people do the things they do. so long as it doesn't turn into an obsession of course - being obsessed with anything isn't a good thing. But just wanting to watching mindlessly violent videos of people dying horrific deaths is sick.

Elieza · 05/01/2022 19:59

Honestly, if it’s in the dark web, I’d be considering reporting them to the police as that’s just not normal behaviour.

He could be researching ways to murder someone. Or how to kill himself.

He sounds unhinged.