Husband just won't give up the cigs

[pradalover]

I'm trying not to interfere.

Can I ask, if anyone has given up- what made you want to give up ?

Did something click or was it gradual ?

I just can't see that he wants to give up. I don't think he ever will.

I used to smoke and can enjoy the odd one when drinking. So I don't judge smoking or anything like that. But obviously continuing day in and day out for many years will have catastrophic consequences.

For me, giving up was more of a gradual process.

Did anyone have a light bulb moment that helped ?

Or a health scare or something ?

But if he wants to give up, several friends did it by switching to vaping and then gradually reducing the nicotine content to zero. A couple still vape but two have given it all up completely. I personally just stopped one day because I no longer enjoyed it. For me I won't rule out a return one day if I fancy it. We're all different.

Then-DP and I moved in together, and the following month got engaged. After we’d been living together for three months I was looking at our bank statements wondering how we were so skint, when I saw how much he spent on smoking.

I went through for with him and pointed out that if we couldn’t save, we couldn’t afford to get married.

He got a vape pen and switched overnight. It’s been amazing for getting him off the actually cigarettes, but he’s still addicted to nicotine. I’m grateful that’s he’s given up smoking, but baling isn’t exactly risk free earlier.

Lightbulb moment when trying to pay for something extremely huge and exiting! Still vape, but only with a glass of wine of an evening.

My DH is into another quit attempt (I've lost count which one this is though) and he thinks this one will stick because he's wanting to put the money towards something specific. That we wouldn't particularly be able to afford if he didn't quit.
The new NHS app seems quite good - it tots up your savings cumulatively. Plus using patches.

"We all have to die sometime of course, but maybe not in your 60s or 70s of a basically self inflicted cancer

But look at the alternative. There's been a huge amount written just on MN alone about the issues of living a long life. Regardless of whether the individual is happy to live longer, society is (sadly) increasingly seeing the elderly as a burden.

Even with good care and well funded care homes (something we don't currently have), not everyone wants that end"

Smoking increases the risk of dementia. My dad declined at home for several years till it got too much, then was in a nursing home (well several, each catering for different stages of dementia- in the last one, only a couple of the residents could still walk a few steps and most couldn't speak more than a couple of mumbled words or feed themselves). The staff were kind, mum visited every day and his children near enough every weekend, and he was miserable. He lasted 18 months in the homes then he was lucky enough to take ill and die. Some people exist like that for years.

I was trying to give up basically from the moment I started! Or give or take.

I got onto nicotine substitutes at some point, but the thing that made me stop completely, including those substances, was trying to get pregnant.

My dads been on the nicotine gum since 1990!

DH stopped when I was pregnant with my first, he went onto the full strength vape and then gradually reduced it down over a year the quit altogether. He’s been stopped about 2.5 years now.

Does he smoke in the house? You can't make him give up, as I'm sure you know, but he can't expect to do it in the house and affect others.

My husband swore he would give up smoking before our son was born, he will be 4 in march!!!! and we also have a 2 year old daughter.
He apparently now smokes 20 a day, he has cut down from 40 ( or so he says)

I gave up smoking about 10 years ago as my young daughter hated it. I would smoke about 15 a day ( more if drinking) I don't ever smoke now and I hate the smell.

Husband doesn't smoke in house but just the smell of him after coming in from one makes me angry with our young children around.
I know he will never give up now, if 2 babies can't make you quit ( one of which has been in hospital lots due to bronchitis and breathing issues) then nothing will.
He has done patches, the tablets, the chewing gum, the tablets from Doctors, hypnotherapy etc but ultimately he doesn't want to give up.

And it really is a massive thing in our marriage as an ex smoker myself of many years I know if you really want to that you can give up. It's because he doesn't want to for himself and his young family which I find incredibly selfish.

I went to work in care. Seeing those with COPD really put me off. I also had a colleague who died of lung cancer in her forties. When you're young I think you tell yourself things like who wants to live that long anyway, or it probably won't affect me like that. But as you get older of course you want to keep going. You have to work harder to keep fit and feel ok. People are quite competitive about it. It's a shame to have damaged your chances by smoking.

The only way to stop smoking is to really really want it. Because it's bloody hard so your desire to stop has to be stronger than your desire to smoke. And unfortunately, it's simply not possible to make someone want to stop.

Get him to read the Allan carr stop smoking book.

Lightbulb moment for me was money. It is so expensive nowadays, especially for people who don't really get on with roll ups.

I have vaped for over 2 years now. I planned to gradually reduce the nicotine to 0 within a year to 18 months but then lockdown happened! Still plan to soon though.

Bonus for me is my young DC can't remember me smoking. She knows I did but she cant remember it.

When I met my ex we both smoked, after a few years he gave up smoking, I didnt. He then hated me smoking and would nag for me to give up, I refused, the more he nagged the more I refused, he said I stank of cigs, I said he stank of sweaty knob cheese but I still wasn't giving up.

It was only when I wanted to stop I was able to. (Apart from a brief period where I stopped as I forgot I smoked)

My neighbours often asked for cigs, if I had any I'd give them some. One day at 3am in the morning they came knocking, I wasn't impressed when I answered the door and all they wanted was a cig, so I basically told them "at this fucking time, not a chance" and shut the door, I stomped back up the stairs, 5 minutes later all my windows were smashed, I knew it was them, I couldn't prove it though but i decided I'd never give them a cig again and I was giving up, With the help of a Stop Smoking Clinic and Champix I did. The neighbours asked once more, I told them I'd given up, they've not asked since :-)