Partly inspired by another thread but I wanted to know whether what I’m asking is reasonable because I’ve genuinely lost sight and I don’t know.
I’m due baby number three at the end of the month and I’m aware that a few people will be keen to visit. I don’t mind the majority of family members coming because they are local and won’t expect to be hosted for hours on end. My problem is with the in laws. In particular mil and step fil. I will be honest from the outset and say that I cannot abide sfil. I’m very nearly at the point of banning him from the house which I had a thread about not that long ago. He was told in no uncertain terms why we were angry at him and on the last visit he behaved himself. I don’t believe it will last but that’s another thread.
Anyway back to the question! They will probably want to visit the week after the birth. My issue is they stay for so bloody long and don’t offer any practical help. They are the type of relations that expect a buffet to be prepared for them and constant tea and coffee top ups. They make massive amounts of mess as they insist on offloading items they don’t want on us. They literally bring bag for life’s of stuff that I don’t want, anything from mugs they don’t want, old clothes, half eaten yellow sticker food that went out of date the day before.... etc. They stay for hours on end. Arriving at around 11 and sometimes not leaving until 8. By the time they leave usually every single mug, dish and piece of cutlery needs washing, piles of stuff they have brought with them is amassed in the hall way and my oldest child is so hyped up that getting them calm and ready for bed in impossible. While the youngest is upset and out of sorts because she has severe sen and doesn’t like people invading her home.
I’m also still reeling from their visit when my youngest was a newborn. I did insist to dh that they left at around 6pm or I would not be responsible for my actions. All of the above mentioned had happened and they were settling in for another round of drinks when I went in ds’s room to find sister in law had opened a brand new play doh set and let ds grind it into the carpet when she’d offered to play with him. It was a brand new carpet which she was aware of.
And breath! So would I be unreasonable to tell dh that they can visit but he has to make it clear it’s for two hours and no longer?
Part of me feels bad because they have to travel around two and a half hours to get here but the thought of hosting them for 8+ hours after having a baby fills me with dread.