Is it possible to not be like this?

[ppeony]

I don’t remember a time when I haven’t had dread sitting inside me, even at times when I’m not panicked it’s there, even when I’m happy and enjoying myself, I can feel it. My anxiety has specific triggers that I’m trying to work on, and I have counselling lined up, but I’ve no idea what to do about this feeling—like I’m just waiting for something terrible to happen, like there’s no point doing anything enjoyable because it’s temporary. It feels like it will never go, because it’s no vague… And even the specific triggers, well, I’m so sceptical about trying counselling again. It feels like painting by numbers or something. Checklists, rating yourself 1-10, the same old structure every time, never in any real depth. Does anyone else find this?
Sorry. I’m just feeling so low. I can’t even read (my main pleasure in life) because my mind is all over the place.

@ppeony

I also had very physical symptoms. I just couldn’t control them (or so I thought - changing your perception of what you can and cannot control is part of the programme).

Now they are more or less completely gone. Even though I’d had years of therapy I never realised the brain and body could heal so quickly, just by repetitively challenging how you think and what you believe.

Now when I start to feel anxious (or even if I get the physical symptoms of the anxiety without feeling anxious iyswim) I go back to the Thrive programme and redo some of the chapters and re-acquaint myself with the techniques.

It’s about raising your self-esteem, challenging your thinking (this could be hyper vigilance, or negative thinking, or obsessive thinking etc) and letting go of your desire for control. It’s also about understanding that anxiety isn’t an ‘illness’ that happens to you but a result of allowing yourself certain thought processes. Anxiety and depression are generally the result of regular thinking patterns that become so entrenched they change your beliefs. And because it’s something YOU have created, it’s something YOU can solve. There are daily things you can do that help with this.

Best £45 I’ve ever spent.