Aunt trying to make me sleep!!!!

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Hello, my name is Rory and I'm 8 months old.

I have a very real problem and I need your help.

I am tired. And my aunt- get this- is trying to GET ME TO NAP!!!

I know. I know. But she doesn't have kids yet so I guess I can't blame her ignorance. As every self-respecting baby knows, the only acceptable way to deal with tiredness is to SHOUT ABOUT IT. But still she insists on snuggling with me and trying to get me to sleep.

I've tried everything to get her to understand. I've dug my little hands into her chest to push myself up. I've made the most annoying whinging noise I can muster. I've taken my dummy out and hit myself around the head with it. I've even tried to crawl to my sister to annoy her while she's trying to chill with the ipad.

Nothing is working.

How do I deal with this woman's unreasonable behaviour!?

Hopefully you are asleep now Rory and your pesky Aunty can have a cuppa.

I am always subjecting my nephew to terrible indignities such as kisses, putting socks on and intervening between him and certain death so I can’t help I’m afraid Rory. Sink your teeth in to her wrist 🤣

Team Rory! Has Auntie sold you on eBay yet? Or is she still smiling at you? If she's still smiling, you're doing it all wrong...

have you tried squish pooing right up your back?

or get her to take you public display of pram pushing

Hi Rory. Could you pull her hair? If she has earrings pull those.

These are great tactics

Make her work for your nap Rory, only stop crying when she does sideways lunge squats. Pretend to sleep and the scream again when she stops.

Projectile vomiting is always an option.

Projectile vomit. Sorted.

I can report full success!

I. Did. Not. Nap.

Sure my eyes are demon red and I'm now screaming at my mum for my bottle at the top of my lungs and tried to drown myself by throwing myself forward dramatically in the bath so many times that my aunt is soaked and I got shampoo in my eyes but...

I WIN

Have you thought of compromising, e.g. go to sleep, but ONLY ON HER so she can't move

PS did take on board some suggestions. No earrings today, she learned that lesson from my sister, but her nose stuff got ripped right out.

I also did an epic chernobyl yellow shit and she had to throw my vest away.

Then, juuuuust as she was about to put me in the jumperoo I snuggled in for a pretend nap- but, surprise!!! I just wanted to hit myself on the head with my dummy some more.

It's been a fabulous day.

*Nose stud. Not stuff. Although I do also rather enjoy sticking my fingers up people's noses. I also enjoy fishhooking them and trying to remove their bottom teeth, highly recommend it to any other babies out there.

Good job. Now make sure you are 'overtired'. That really messes with them.

Don’t nap. Simple. Stay irritated and pissed off until bedtime - that will keep everybody on their toes. Just make sure to have a very shitty night’s sleep too; that way, everyone will be surprised. Who doesn’t love surprises?

@MrsTerryPratchett and @justheretoaskaquestion91 I fully intend to be an absolute arsehole until bedtime. Maybe even after.

Auntie hoofed it out the door as soon as mummy got home- she said she had stuff to do before work tomorrow but I heard her on the phone to my uncle earlier saying something about a "long bath" "wine" and "going back on the pill, keep away from me"...

going back on the pill, keep away from me

You may have gone too far. Next time you see her, big eyes, giggle, hold her finger with your fist. You know the score. Even yawn if you have to. Grab a handful of blankie and rub your face with it in an emergency.

He he, she won't know what hit her.

@MrsTerryPratchett Uncle did sound a bit worried so I made sure to giggle for a bit before mummy came home. I also deployed my new trick "kisses", which is basically just sucking their face. Weird I know, but I've come to learn that grown ups find all kinds of things cute.

Plus its win win for me as Licking Stuff is my favourite hobby. I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but I've become quite the expert

Next time work on getting a snotty nose. Wipe it all over her clothes (people without kids actually LIKE their clothes staying clean) and while she's vomming a bit in her mouth and cleaning/changing you get another 15 minutes of Not Napping.

Sounds good. You have to keep them on their toes.

Get your mum to tell your auntie to put you down and leave you alone you might drop off on your own !

@wigglerose my nose is never not snotty, she's gotten wise to this tactic now and only wears tatty clothes for Auntie Duty. Rude if you ask me!

@cherrypie66 not in the day I won't! Absolutely no chance. I much prefer shouting and hitting myself.

Another fun tactic is to wake up at 4am, then start crawling around and chatting, but make sure you smile and giggle so they find it too cute to be annoying. You can go back to sleep, but only after a minimum of half an hour though, more if you can stretch it out.

Can you scream enough to give your self a mild temperature? That's a good delay tactic.

If she's got any buttons on her clothes ripping one off and eating it's another good one.