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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting to quit tennis with DH

53 replies

LibbyVonTrap · 03/01/2022 10:26

Last year DH and I joined David Lloyd. We signed up for the extra racquet sports so we could play together and spend time together. Neither of us had really played tennis before so I wasn’t expecting amazing rallies or whatever but thought we might improve together.

Anyway first time we booked a court DH really showed us up. He was throwing himself on the floor, running into the net and “bouncing off it” and at one point threw his racquet across the court. I kept telling him to stop messing around as people were looking but he made out it was all accidental and he was just getting to grips with everything. We tried a couple more times but he acted the same, it was totally pointless as I’d hit the ball and he would either miss it or whack it into the wall. I spent the entire time just stood there waiting for him to get up off the floor.

We tried an outdoor court but that was worse as the ball just went flying and DH would run after it through the courts rather than just leaving it and using a new ball. We ended up arguing the last time we were there and havnt been since.

Anyway as a NY resolution he wants us to go back. I said no initially due to his messing around but he promised he won’t so I agreed.

We’re meant to be going on Friday but I’m dreading it!! It’s just too embarrassing and frustrating. Now that I’ve said I’ll go I’m thinking of using this as a last chance for him to take it seriously before cancelling the racquet sports completely or AIBU and taking a “fun” hobby too seriously?

I just don’t see the point!! I just end up stood there watching his dramatics!

OP posts:
Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 03/01/2022 10:28

Surely a typo and you meant ds 7 not dh?

Haus1234 · 03/01/2022 10:28

He sounds ridiculous … I wouldn’t play if it’s no fun!

Could you perhaps get a coaching session together and see if that’s better?

Original poster
LibbyVonTrap · 03/01/2022 10:29

@Haus1234

He sounds ridiculous … I wouldn’t play if it’s no fun!

Could you perhaps get a coaching session together and see if that’s better?

I had a one-one and really enjoyed it. DH refused saying he’d rather just play for fun and learn “on the job”
OP posts:
lokabrenna · 03/01/2022 10:29

Bouncing off the net? What the heck this sounds hilarious. It’s one thing needing to practice to improve and another just messing around.

Maybe suggest he gets some lessons before you play again, hopefully his tutor won’t put up with him bouncing off the net!

Chamomileteaplease · 03/01/2022 10:33

Just when you think that there can't be any new MN subject matter Grin.

This is crazy! First of all I thought you meant he was getting cross and being a bad sport. But do you mean that he thinks he is being funny?

I would give him one last chance and lay it on the line that he's not funny and everyone was embarrassed by his antics. You wanted to learn tennis together and he isn't fulfilling his end of the bargain.

And if you yourself do have a genuine interest I suggest you sign up for lessons by yourself Smile.

Floralnomad · 03/01/2022 10:36

Keep the subscription but find other people to play with . I totally agree with you that your husbands behaviour is embarrassing and inappropriate.

Original poster
LibbyVonTrap · 03/01/2022 10:37

Thing is I know they do a tennis club where you rotate between partners and they hold little fun contests etc. I REALLY want to join but then so does DH and I simply can’t go with him as we’d get thrown out

OP posts:
Toomanypeople · 03/01/2022 10:40

I would go but remind him if he messes around you will be leaving the court to find someone who actually wants to play tennis not act like a child

IncompleteSenten · 03/01/2022 10:40

Since you've already said you'll go then in your shoes I'd go but the second he messes about, say "we discussed this" then walk off the court. Go wait in the car, walk home, whatever. But leave the court and do not go back onto it.

Scarby9 · 03/01/2022 10:41

Is he like this in any other part of his life?
It sounds as if he has never seen Wimbledon, but instead has watched too many slapstick cartoons.

PersonaNonGarter · 03/01/2022 10:42

What a tit. Tell him he needs to take lessons if he wants you to play with him.

Ponoka7 · 03/01/2022 10:42

Whose idea was it to start? It sounds as though he doesn't want to do it, but doesn't want you to either.

SimonedeBeauvoirscat · 03/01/2022 10:44

Sounds like he wants to be playing squash instead … can you get him to switch to that?!

Original poster
LibbyVonTrap · 03/01/2022 10:44

It was my idea to start but he said he really wanted to do it too. When I told him I was cancelling it after the last argument we went in a mood saying I was taking it too seriously and clearly didn’t want to spend time with him.

OP posts:
bonfireheart · 03/01/2022 10:45

As PP asked, has he ever watched tennis? And is he like this with other things?

forrestgreen · 03/01/2022 10:45

I think you need to be specific about the behaviour you don't like. And say you'll walk of court if he starts and play with others next time. And mean it

JuneOsborne · 03/01/2022 10:46

We hired a tennis court once. I had visions of lovely little rallies, a nice time.

Oh no. DH though he was Rafa Nadal. Trying to serve properly and hit winners. We've never been since....

forrestgreen · 03/01/2022 10:46

It sounds quite controlling tbh. Is he worried you'll be better and want to play with others, and this is his way of ruining it so you'll stop

IncompleteSenten · 03/01/2022 10:48

Any chance he is clowning about to hide the fact he can't play?
He'd rather strangers see him as 'having a laugh' than as being crap at tennis.

Of course, in reality strangers will be thinking what a twat 🤷‍♀️

RubyKitty · 03/01/2022 10:49

Maybe try playing squash instead - he sounds like he would be less out of place chasing after the squash ball 😃

ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2022 10:50

@SimonedeBeauvoirscat

Sounds like he wants to be playing squash instead … can you get him to switch to that?!
Sounds like it might be a better fit for his wall-whacking, er, 'skills', and without an audience.
MargaretThursday · 03/01/2022 10:50

I play tennis. If he's seen "bouncing off the net" then you're liable to be asked to leave because you can snap the net/damage the posts.
I've also seen rather nasty injuries (concussion and broken leg) from someone who fell over the net in a match, so potentially dangerous.

Tennis clubs can be very cliquey and gossipy, so he may already be gaining a reputation.

UpsideDownToast · 03/01/2022 10:54

Have you pointed out to him all of the other adults playing it properly and still enjoying themselves?
His argument that you are "taking it too seriously" when you don't want to play with someone acting like an utter buffoon is just insane.

How on Earth does he think that his behaviour is reasonable??

Doing something unreasonable and then accusing the other person of being in the wrong by not finding it funny smacks a bit of gaslighting, right?
Like telling a really awful racist/sexist joke and then accusing the other person of having no sense of humour for not laughing Confused

Chamomileteaplease · 03/01/2022 11:01

Is he like this in other situations?

I mean, were you as surprised as 99.9% of the population would be if their partners suddenly started behaving in this way?

ProfessionalWeirdo · 03/01/2022 11:08

Slightly off-topic, but a word of advice if you do decide to cancel your membership. Make sure you send your cancellation by Royal Mail Special Delivery. This is tracked throughout and has to be signed for on receipt (which means the recipient cannot pretend they didn't receive it). I read somewhere that David Lloyd staff are instructed to ignore all cancellations unless they're sent in this way.