Vasectomy

[Skippy1251]

My partner won’t get the snip! We have three kids ! One planned one a pill baby
One a coil baby! I fell pregnant on the injection but didn’t take amd now I’m on the implant for 2 years and just been told i have an eptopic! Contraception clearly doesn’t work for me as it’s not anything i’m doing wrong. So why won’t he help me with all this pain and stress. I feel hurt and let down that he can see I’ve tried every option before asking him to do this and with no research or conversation he just says NO! He’s 39 years old and wants no more kids as 3 is enough financially for us .

He can say no to a vasectomy and you can say no to sex, or demand that he use a condom each and every time you have sex.

Does he wear condoms? They're very effective if used correctly. I'd be telling him no condom, no sex as its not fair to put all the responsibility for contraception onto you.

Could you look into having your tubes tied? It's a bigger surgery than a vasectomy but at least you'd know you're unlikely to fall pregnant afterwards.

I can understand why you're annoyed, a vasectomy is much less risky than getting your tubes tied and the most effective option but you can't force another person into surgery they don't want.

@Aquamarine1029

He can say no to a vasectomy and you can say no to sex, or demand that he use a condom each and every time you have sex.

Yes this !

A vasectomy is really not a big deal.

I couldn't take the pill, also had two accident babies, and DH got a vasectomy.

His body, his choice. But also your body, your choice - and if you choose not to allow his body parts inside your body parts, that's fine.

Contraception should be a discussion, what is his actual suggestion? Condoms? No sex? You to continue with birth control that doesn’t work?
He can’t just say no and leave it at that.

@Skippy1251 my husband was the same but iv told him no vasectomy no sex, I'm younger than him and refuse to use contraception for the next 20+ years! He can't use condoms and clearly the family planning method didn't work as we DTD when I was ovulating and now due in April!

Condoms or vasectomy if he refuses both no sex, if you're going to use condoms track ovulation and still avoid at that time of the month!

If he doesn't want the snip its condoms or no sex. You could look at getting sterilised yourself but if you go for it on the NHS its a postcode lottery as to whether it is funded. Kent, for example, does not finance female sterilisation.

Vasectomy is easy and very safe. There will of course be posters with awful horror stories but the vast majority will have no issues. DP had his last June and its been a game-changer.

Why won't your DH entertain the snip?

Bodily autonomy matters, even when you think someone is just being a dick

It is his body and his choice,

My husband refuses to get one too, I can't force it on him.
If we have any more I will get sterilised, would be a c-section (as last 2 deliveries were) so they can do it at the same time.

I told my DH it was condoms, no sex, or a vasectomy. Any of the above fine by me.

4 weeks later he paid privately for his vasectomy, had it at 10am, and was in work for lunchtime.

No sex