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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how many friends/family do you know with tattoos?

229 replies

recycledcat · 02/01/2022 23:15

Just that really...

I have no opinion either way (I don't have any for full disclosure but that's probably as I'm a wuss when it comes to pain and also indecisive!)

So this isn't a tattoo-bashing thread

Just wondering how many close friends/family you know who have them?

My youngest DS has several but other 4 DC have none. Their friends from what I know have none. My SIL has one and DN has lots.

OP posts:
notanothertakeaway · 03/01/2022 09:48

I know a couple of people who have small tattoos from approx 20 years ago eg Celtic circles around their forearms, when that was fashionable

I think that fashions change over time, and tattoos will decline in popularity as most people don't want to look like their parents' generation

Fellrunner85 · 03/01/2022 09:50

All these people confidently asserting that their friends and family don't have any - how can you possibly know? Unless you regularly see each other naked (doubtful) or regularly have "do you have a tattoo" conversations (which would be weird) I don't think you do.

Barely anyone knows I have a tattoo. DH does and that's about it. I got it done quietly and never mention it unless it naturally comes up it conversation, which is rare. I only know certain friends have theirs because I've seen them getting changed in the gym. I honestly don't know about most of my friends and family - because I don't go around asking "do you have a tattoo" just like I don't ask "do you have your bellybutton pierced" or "what colour do you paint your toenails." It would be odd.

whiteroseredrose · 03/01/2022 09:56

I know with my friends because we have had the discussion. Started as teenage regrets.

MoonBat · 03/01/2022 10:00

I think I know more people that do have them, than those who don't.

I have three and am planning more. DP didn't have any when we met, shortly after we got together he had a big one and is planning more now. I LOVE his, he designed it himself and the artist who did it is very talented. I would say I find him a bit more attractive because of it. And if he had a terrible one I would probably be less attracted to him.

My siblings have several each. Funnily enough my parents were very easygoing when we were growing up and there were very few things they actively "banned". My mum said "PLEASE don't get tattoos because I really don't like them" and we all ended up doing it anyway!

PineappleMojito · 03/01/2022 10:01

I have seven. Love all of them! I got all mine over the age of 30, so no teenage regret ones. Most of my friends have at least one. DH hasn’t got any, but he’s very “each to their own” about it.

In terms of who I am/am not attracted to, tattoos are really neither here nor there. I suppose if someone had offensive ones that would put me off. It would also put me off if a person I was dating made negative comments about people with tattoos or said they didn’t like mine.

mamaduckbone · 03/01/2022 10:03

My dsis has one, my dniece has a couple. A friend has a very small one. I think that's it.

Giggorata · 03/01/2022 10:05

Most of my pagan friends have them, ranging from Celtic armbands or wristbands, to much more coverage.
Some are beautiful, others have not aged at all well. Disappointingly, some of the smaller (older?) ones with fine line work seem to have bled ink, and now look blurry.
I have none. I haven't ruled it out, just never got round to it.

Few of my other friends and none of my family, including DC, have any visible tattoos.

Isseywith3witchycats · 03/01/2022 10:07

Most of our friends outside of work have lots of tattoos being as they are bikers i have one small pegasus one most of our friends linked to work have no tattoos

PaperMonster · 03/01/2022 10:08

Probably about half the people I know. I have two and am planning a third.

KurtWilde · 03/01/2022 10:08

I'm covered in them as is my eldest DD and DS, their partners, all my siblings, exh, ex-laws..

Pretty much every member of MN family apart from my mum Grin

KurtWilde · 03/01/2022 10:10

Oh ffs my family not MN family Confused

mydogisthebest · 03/01/2022 10:11

I have none, DH has none, siblings none, their partners none. Out of 4 nieces only 1 has a very small one. 2 nephews and neither has any.

No cousins or aunts and uncles have any.

Almost all of our friends don't have any.

I really dislike them. It's almost verging on a phobia. Tattoos on legs in particular make my feel physically sick. I think they are revolting

ufucoffee · 03/01/2022 10:11

@Fellrunner85

All these people confidently asserting that their friends and family don't have any - how can you possibly know? Unless you regularly see each other naked (doubtful) or regularly have "do you have a tattoo" conversations (which would be weird) I don't think you do.

Barely anyone knows I have a tattoo. DH does and that's about it. I got it done quietly and never mention it unless it naturally comes up it conversation, which is rare. I only know certain friends have theirs because I've seen them getting changed in the gym. I honestly don't know about most of my friends and family - because I don't go around asking "do you have a tattoo" just like I don't ask "do you have your bellybutton pierced" or "what colour do you paint your toenails." It would be odd.

Because the friends I have, most have been friends for over 40 years and that's the kind of thing we would tell each other. I have a very small family and we would tell each other too. That's how I know.
StoneofDestiny · 03/01/2022 10:12

None

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 03/01/2022 10:12

@mydogisthebest

I have none, DH has none, siblings none, their partners none. Out of 4 nieces only 1 has a very small one. 2 nephews and neither has any.

No cousins or aunts and uncles have any.

Almost all of our friends don't have any.

I really dislike them. It's almost verging on a phobia. Tattoos on legs in particular make my feel physically sick. I think they are revolting

That's the desired effect! Revulsion.
Daisy829 · 03/01/2022 10:13

I would say about 50%. I have 2 & plan another (my final one but I’ve said that before). Didn’t have them when I met DH and he doesn’t particularly like them but he doesn’t say anything about it.

CornishGem1975 · 03/01/2022 10:13

I have none, my DH has loads, got his last one just before Christmas. I knew him pre and post inking. I have no strong feelings about it, just never had one myself because I've never liked anything enough to have it permanently etched on my body.

whatth · 03/01/2022 10:14

DP has two and got them while on holiday. I hate tattoos but understand that it's his body, his decision. I find that if I'm asked for my opinion on them, it doesn't go well if I say I don't like them, but surely I'm entitled to my opinion as long as long as I'm not being judgmental?

Onlinedilema · 03/01/2022 10:17

I have a very small one which is now faded. I'd like to get it re-inked or maybe covered over with something else but it's not high on my priority list.
Dh has a few.
Non of my dcs have them.
Dsc have a few.
Lots of my friends have them but again I only know because I have seen them getting changed and have been away with them otherwise I would not know.
I agree with the poster who said you don't know if your friends or work colleagues have them unless you have seen them naked.
Several of my work colleagues have them. The ones who don't appear to have them, I really don't know if they do or dont. I mean they could have a tatooed arse for all I know.

Chanel05 · 03/01/2022 10:20

I'm one of 5 siblings: 3 female, 2 male. All women have 1 tattoo, men have none.

FIL has a few.

Mum has a few.

Dad, DH have none.

CockingASnook · 03/01/2022 10:20

None in my wider family. In fact, I’ve only one friend who has any tattoos and they were done in their teens and twenties as subversive jokes. I wouldn’t be attracted to someone with ink unless it was very very good and creative art (some abstract designs look amazing though not sure how they would stand up on someone in their sixties). Any cliche picked out of a book in a tattoo parlour and plonked in someone’s arm or torso or thigh would be a turn-off.

Hathertonhariden · 03/01/2022 10:20

Less than 10% of family and friends. Family with tats were in merchant navy.

Charm23 · 03/01/2022 10:26

My brother has a number of tattoos and off the top of my head I can think of one friend who does. Can't really think of anyone else. So I don't know many people with them. I have none and don't want any either.

newnameforthis76 · 03/01/2022 10:37

I have tattoos, my brother has tattoos and so do my eldest niece and nephew. DP’s sister has a couple of small ones. Loads of friends and colleagues do.

It’s worth remembering that a lot of people you meet will have tattoos you won’t know about - for example, if you work in an office you don’t really know if men have tattoos on their torso, shoulders or legs.

PineappleMojito · 03/01/2022 10:38

@whatth

DP has two and got them while on holiday. I hate tattoos but understand that it's his body, his decision. I find that if I'm asked for my opinion on them, it doesn't go well if I say I don't like them, but surely I'm entitled to my opinion as long as long as I'm not being judgmental?
“I hate tattoos” is a judgmental statement, it’s hating something with no particularly good reason other than you don’t like the aesthetic. When we say we “hate” certain looks or body mods or whatever, it IS judgemental, so we need to own that. All humans judge. It’s how we are. FWIW I feel the same way about a lot of cosmetic procedures that for me are usually (not talking about medically necessary ones here btw) a) not needed and b) often don’t look good. But that IS a judgement and in reality I am aware that it’s a personal choice, often I probably wouldn’t know if someone had had “something done” or not - and who the f am I to impose that opinion and judgement on someone else or what they do with their body because of my particular view/aesthetic preferences. I wouldn’t tell a friend I hated their lip fillers or whatever because it’s not my place to do so. Their body their choice - but I think most friends, knowing my views on cosmetic procedures and the patriarchy, probably wouldn’t come to me for an unbiased opinion! Similarly, I wouldn’t ask my dad, who hates tattoos, what he thought of my latest one, because I’ll just get judgements I don’t want. So your DH asking you in a way, knowing your opinion on tattoos, is inviting a problem. Although I suppose people do change their minds - my mum was a hater, but she does like the ones I have.

It’s human to judge and it’s what we do with our judgments that matters. Do we own them as our own and not other people’s problem? Or do we impose them on others and constantly let them know about it? Similarly, if your DH knows your preference, taking that into account, how does he want you to respond when he has a new tattoo? Would it help to affirm that you’re glad he’s pleased with it, affirm your respect for his choices with his own body, etc? My one tattoo-averse friend would usually say something like “oh I could never go through all that pain but I’m glad it’s been worth it and you like it”.