Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A bit fed up with Dsis

10 replies

Redwhitepink · 02/01/2022 22:39

So I’ve been a single mum to my dd (17) for the last 10 years. No family apart from DSis and her family ( husband and 2 children 10 & 16). Not once in all those 10 years had my DSis shown any interest in seeing just me when DD is at her dads.
However a few months ago (now that she and bil are now not getting on) she says wants to see me when Dd is away as she wants time away from her Dh.
Also she says she can’t leave bil as they can’t afford it will wait until children have left home a s yet she quite clearly can’t stand him. However they quite clearly have plenty of spare money.
AIBU to a. feel a bit “used” as she suddenly wants to see me and b.feel sad that her my niece and nephew live in such a hostile environment?

OP posts:
SandingWithMyUnshavenLegs · 02/01/2022 22:52

YANBU, however…

…this could be a chance to become closer to your only sibling. And there’s not much you can really do about this without calling her out on it which I can’t see would help anything.

But yes, absolutely not a nice situation for your niece and nephew. And they will need you if their home life is so fractious.

errnerrcallnernnernnern · 02/01/2022 22:57

Well, don’t let her use you.

Only see her if and when you want to.

Don’t feel obliged to have her around and cook for her. Does she invite you to hers?

custardbear · 02/01/2022 23:00

Not great but at least you were living alone, she's got her STBXH living there too; but she could have been more supportive of you

Original poster
Redwhitepink · 03/01/2022 00:00

@custardbear I’ve been living with my dd. Not really stbx for her - she’s waiting to split up until her children leave home - could be another 10 years!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Redwhitepink · 03/01/2022 00:02

@errnerrcallnernnernnern it’s usually been us all getting together (with kids) . This suggestion to meet without only happened a few months ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redwhitepink · 03/01/2022 09:05

Thanks for the replies so far 😊

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 03/01/2022 09:09

I think a change in circumstances often makes people reprioritise their relationships and make more effort elsewhere

Original poster
Redwhitepink · 03/01/2022 09:55

@ShirleyPhallus thanks, yes I agree. Just a bit peeves she’s shown so little interest in me for the last 10 years and never been in the slightest bit supportive

OP posts:
maddening · 03/01/2022 10:19

Also consider her youngest is 10, i def found socialising trickier when ds was younger and dh abd i boty work ft, he is now 10 and it has really been the last couple of years that i have socialised more.

zingally · 03/01/2022 11:21

I think a sudden change in circumstances and "life plan" can suddenly make people re-evaluate their relationships.

By all means, take the opportunity to form a closer bond with your sister, but don't let her use you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page