Teenager talking at night

[DollyStardust]

I'm laid in bed and about to settle down, I can hear my 18 Yr old DS in the room next door laughing and talking while he plays a game. He can sometimes do this until 4am with friends. Some nights he is louder than others and it causes arguments as it disturbs our sleep- he doesn't realise how much louder his voice is in a quiet house and argues that he isn't being loud.

It's hard to give him a curfew for this because he's of adult age, but equally he's acting like a child not considering others.

I don't understand how his friends can do it to without annoying their parents or waking siblings!?

Please tell me this is a joke. Why in the name of God are you allowing another adult in the house to disturb everyone's sleep. It is basic manners. Your adult child should have acquired these manners by now.I can't imagine my 18 year old having so little respect for our family. Please parents stop allowing your children to feel entitled.

My ds1 is slightly younger, 16 but the rules we have in place will still be in place when he is 18. Talking stops by 10:30, 11 in the holidays. Typing (his keyboard is so loud!) Stops by 11, or 12 in the holidays.
But it's the same rules for all of us, OH has real sleep issues and will sometimes be up until 2/3 in the morning but from 10:30 onwards he will be using headphones if he is listening to anything.

Thanks for the comments, I have always wondered if it was just me as he is talking to others and their parents don't seem bothered - when he was at Secondary school his friends would take the mick out of him having to be quiet and/or come off the headphones. He did quieten down last night when asked and I feel better that I'm not BU if I start to threaten that he has to turn them off, WiFi off etc.

Fortunately, we are in a semi and his room is next to the empty space at the side of the house so I don't believe he disturbs anyone outside of the house and we havent got a house very close to the front or back however if he did we would be informed I'm sure!

He does seem to reduce his volume naturally from about 10pm with the whooping reduced to a laugh so there is hope he's learning natural cues! Dont get me wrong, the whooping isnt something he does through the night its just having a deep voice it carries more through the night, to him, he is just talking a normal volume but normal volume in a quiet house at night is still too loud so this is where the friction develops!

However I will continue to tell him if needed

I would suggest that 11pm is a reasonable time to expect him to go quiet. If he makes a noise after that, ask him not to. If he keeps on making a noise, then simply wake him in the morning when you get up, lights on, curtains open, door open, music playing. Petty but it might make him realise how annoying it is to have your sleep disturbed.

@TheHoptimist I don't think he's worked that out yet. He only has limited data on his phone in any case

Either he plays somewhere you can’t hear him, or the wifi goes off and he doesn’t play.

He’s old for curfews but it’s your house, and he cannot deprive you off sleep.

OP I’m not sure why you’re tip toeing around the lad? It’s your home.

I can't believe you put up with it!

I'm in the 'barge in and tell him to shut the fuck up' camp. Couldn't care less what his mates get away with. It was WW3 at our house for a few weeks but he's very sensible and quiet without any reminders now (17yo).

I am really struggling with this but it's not gaming my 17yo talks ALL EFFING NIGHT on facetime group chats with friends. Our walls in our house are super thin so I've asked him to go downstairs where he will disturb us less at night once we come to bed but I cam still hear his big booming voice at least every other night. Me and my OH have anxiety going to bed as we don't know when we are going to be disturbed. I have threatened to block his phone if it carries on and he has even threatened leaving if I keep going on at him about it. I've got to the point now where I am saying, I love you and don't want you to go but if you don't think you can work with my rules in this house, maybe that's best. He went to college yesterday and didn't come home, I knew he was at his friends even tho he was aloof to where he was as tho he was never coming home but he did and I was relieved he was staying there last night as a quiet night, free from him gabbing all night was amazing. I'm in bed now, it's 11.30pm and I just feel like I'm waiting for him to wake me up all the time, I daren't go to sleep. :-(

My son was being so loud playing video games all night that I had to go in there and ask him “why are we being so loud?” Unfortunately, I’m the only one in the house that has trouble sleeping. Everyone else could sleep through just about anything. If everyone had trouble sleeping because of him making so much noise, then it would be an easy fix because there are 4 other family members in the house. If it’s just me complaining about it no one will care because everyone else could probably sleep through a freight train passing through. It made me very uncomfortable to have to confront him about this.