To want to go and lie down in a darkened room with a large gin if I receive yet another smug "round robin" Christmas letter?

[MrsSchadenfreude]

So your six year old has read all of the Harry Potter books - "not bad as he only started the first one in August." Your holidays this year "included the Caribbean, Morocco and a long weekend in New York". Your husband "has a fantastic job; his talents are really being recognised and rewarded financially - haha!" There then follows a long list of all the oddly named friends (that we have never heard of) you have seen over the year "Piggy and Jumbly came with their boys for a long weekend; we had a lovely lunch at the Fat Duck" and "We were delighted to hear that Winnie has just given birth to twin girls, Persephone and Artemis - two little pink cashmere cardigans on their way to you, Winnie, if you get this before they arrive!"

I am really not fucking interested in your (imaginary?) life. And I don't imagine many other people are either, except perhaps Piggy, Jumbly and Winnie.

And I hope that you've booked that lovely Christmas break with teh travel company that's just gone tits up.

please tell me those names are real

that would make my day

Mrs S
Would you like me to send you my round robin, to balance all that out??

I warn you, it's a work of misery and poverty! (Haven't sent one this year as just can't be honest enough!)

What ARE you talking about woman???

What are they?

unquietdad called them "Boasts by Post"

The best way to deal with them is to find them amusing, and to be smug that you would never do something that awful.

Hello Pruni!

My cousin always manages to send one that is newsy, funny and informative without being remotely smug - I don't understand why other people can't do this.

Ruby, yes they are, but they are not necessarily linked together (to preserve the identities of Piggy, Jumbly and Winnie).

Oh and the other thing that really gets me is those who always have to mention how well their children are doing at private school. Like saying "We are significantly richer than you."

LOLOL!

file it in the bin i think, Mrs S ...

"Boasts by Post" - spot on. I do know someone who used to live in Far East (with DH earning telephone number salary), who once sent one out slagging off the inlaws who had been out to stay for a long time and had clearly outstayed their welcome. She put one in the inlaws' card inadvertantly. Lots of bridge building needed to be done there, as they weren't her biggest fans anyway.

And funnily enough, she hasn't sent one since!

Is there any possibility that they meant it to be funny?
At all? A la MintyDixCharrington's blog?

No, Pruni, sadly not! I did say to one person, oh we love your Christmas letters, they are always so funny and just got a strange look.

My cousin's are great - last year she wrote that her DH was deemed too puny to go in for tossing the caber in the highland games, so he went in for tossing the lettuce and came second!

I've never heard of them before-why are they called round robins?
What kind of people do them?-don't know anyone who does them/gets them.
Please enlighten me - must be very very ignorant unless they're a new thing!

Oh I get it, like a catch up thing?

Wont be sending any of those then, not much to boast about this year.

Why do people want to rub everyone else's noses in it at this time of year??

We got one of them last week, from friends we have not seen or spoken to for at least 3 years. It was a huge list of their 10 year old dd's achievements:
top at school
seconder at cubs
very sporty - Hi5, netball, football, cross country running and represents the school in these, she is a fantastic swimmer tipped for olympic squad,
popular
pretty
And the bit that annoyed me most:
"Esmeralda had a fantastic end of year report, she is a very bright and capable young lady who applies herself well to the task at hand, she is producing high levels of work in Maths, English and Science and is still producing outstanding work in the other areas of the curriculum"
My stomach did a couple of summersaults and it was filed in the bin (the letter, not my stomach)

I mean, OF COURSE people are proud of their dc's achievements, but please, one A4 page of finely typed boasting is not going to endear me to her. Because she sounds TOO perfect, TOO wonderful!

I find the whole thing a bit sad really. But maybe that is because my round robin would read ' struggeling to get by financially, need a new bathroom but can't afford it, ds is happy and a great little actor but rubbish at school work languishing at the bottom of the class, dd is a little hot head who throws spectacular strops but has just learned to summersault underwater, neither dc is good at sports as both are very uncoordinated but they are very good at playing playstation games'

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

I only send christmas cards to people I know and like so there would not be much point in going into detail about how marvelous my life is. I love reading other peoples fictionalised life though.

I used to get really funny and entertaining ones from my ex-boss' wife, but she has stopped now. The funniest time was the year she discovered hair straighteners.

Ah yes there's been a bit of a discussion about thse on a SN thread ([http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1373/443276?stamp=071222093444 here]]), really getbup my nose! We don't so much get them in written form, its mroe how my BIL speaks generally (ah just got back fromThailand ya and picked up the new Saab yar heh heh- damned thing not as wonderbar as Das but hey you know, mortgage clear next year... need it to go rand Dorset for Chrsitmas, but you know must watch ones inheritance haw haw) arrrghghhhhhhhhhhh

As dh puts it

Tosser

I shred them with an enormous amount of glee. It really helps to know that the guinea pigs will be pooing on them

The boasting about what exciting lives you lead is bad enough. But it's people who have had a completely uneventful year (ie. fucking dull) and yet still insist on boring us with every last bloody detail that really annoy me (got three of these this year)

If you haven't got any news, don't make a fucking news announcement FGS!

PMSL
I have just received one this morning from another MNer, it is very entertaining rather than boastful Ones like the one described in the OP would just get on my nerves.

Is anyone going to admit to sending one?

Please?

Ooh, crossed posts ElfPolarBear - entertaining, self-deprecating and funny are all ok, as long as not smug.

One year, when I was a yoof, we got one and I had to be physically restrained from returning it with all the typos and grammar etc. corrected in red pen.

Yes you are being very unreasonable. And selfish.

Post them here so we can all laugh and point - then have the G&T!

snort

no you are not being unreasonable as we had one of these a couple of days ago from 'old school pal' ... I said to dh - got another 'how fab are we' email from X and X.

The only time we ever hear from them is at Xmas(after another amazing year - of course) OR when they have purchased a new house/boat/car.

I say 'well, good for them' and then accidently push the delete button