My dad!

[namechangedforthis1ne]

We saw my dad over Christmas exchanged gifts etc I thought they would close pubs after Christmas but as they haven't I asked him not to come round for the minute as he is in the pub most nights and I'm pregnant so didn't want to risk him bringing covid to my door!

At first he said no worries but then yesterday got a long text about how I'm singling him out as my Dsis is still allowed round and I still go and see my DM. I explained my reasoning for this and the fact he is probably exposing himself to over 100 people a week at the pubs, even his doctor (who he drinks with) told him to stay away from me! But this wasn't good enough he responded with a short bitter message with Bye! On the end.

Iv never had a great relationship with my dad he has always treated me differently and has hardly bothered with my kids so it really got to me and I told him exactly that and that I didn't have time for the crap his reply was Me neither Bye!

So I left it at that, now he has text wishing a happy new year and saying sorry, that was this morning I have not replied!

AIBU to just cut him of completely and ignore him? Iv had enough of having to put others feelings first when no one ever cares to return the favour, especially him not to mention I find the relationship awkward and have only put up with it for this long for the sake of DC "having a grandfather" which I never did

Ime he hardly bothers with your dc because he knows you have high standards. As you should! He is happy to risk your dc. And pissed because again your standards are denying his 'right' to treat them as he pleases... Keep him away op.

Why are you seeing other people though? They could very easily transmit to you too . You do seem to have taken a stance.

He has now apologised and wishes you a happy new year. I am not sure why you haven't responded to a fairly standard greeting.

@SeasonFinale my mums disabled and only see's my sister and maybe 1/2 other people a month indoors, my sister works but wears a mask.

My dads in multiple small pub/bars a week, the risk is night and day between the 3 of them.

@Santahatesbraisedcabbage we moved to my home town 8 months ago, he lives 5 minutes drive and I can count on my 2 hands how many times he has been to see them even though we've always had an open door for family he said I've only just started coming round to see them and now you have taken that away, like that's my fault!

@SeasonFinale

Why are you seeing other people though? They could very easily transmit to you too . You do seem to have taken a stance.

He has now apologised and wishes you a happy new year. I am not sure why you haven't responded to a fairly standard greeting.

His own dr has said for him to stay away from his pregnant daughter and young gc.

You don't get to send your daughter a 'short, bitter message' and then rug sweep as you see fit.

@namechangedforthis1ne has said this is a long standing issue with her father's treatment of her and her children. A rug sweeping text isn't going to fix it.

Why do you want your children to have a grandfather like this?

It doesn't sound like you get a lot from the relationship and that was a shitty message he sent. If you think your life will be better without contact, it's definitely worth considering. It's likely to kick off for a while if you go no contact so prepare yourself. From my own experience it was hard going especially whilst pregnant/had a new born. It's been worth it in the long run though.

My df repeatedly let me down as a dc. When he started doing the same to my dc I stopped him seeing them.
Haven't seen him for over 20 years.

@Santahatesbraisedcabbage That is how I feel he lets them down by not being consistent, he has his step grandchildren twice a week but he cant even pop in for a 20 minute chat and play with mine

@Merryoldgoat you're right I don't

We had no house phone and weekly was the arrangement.. Some weeks the dc were sat waiting and he just didn't show. He didn't have a job and no other dc or pets. Just an awful dw..
He made his priorities clear enough..