Missed opportunity or not bothered

[Covidfallout2]

Wrote a thread about this on Boxing Day if I had been friend zoned. Spent Xmas day at my male friend. We dated ages ago and ended up really good friends. Consensus was to tell him, but I don’t want to ruin a great friendship if I am unsure.

We have a flirty vibe. In Xmas day I stayed over. He made a fuss spoiling me. He mentioned getting the spare room ready loads. I wasn’t sure if I was to say it’s ok I will bunk in with you. So I slept there. I think I have feelings - he will never make a move. I made a move to start dating years ago

Went to his for New Years. Again made a special meal, made a fuss as I had been working. Flirty vibe and I thought I would give him a hug and kiss then. See what happens. The bells went and I didn’t touch him. Pat in the back. He seemed surprised with that.

Bedtime and I went to spare room. He datasets texting me about plans tomorrow. He then shouted about plans. I said was in the nect room. Just come in if you want to talk. Night.

I fell asleep. Woke up with the door open, so assume he came in. He has also told me to find love this year but be careful as few good guys left. Morning was awkward when I left. I gave him a hug and he was hesitant.

Not too sure if I missed the clues. Or the friendship is getting weird.

If the friendship is getting weird anyway then strap your big girl pants on and tell him how you feel, nothing to lose..

This is exciting- you really don’t have anything to lose here. The friendship cannot go on as it is anyway. If you both have feelings then you already have a great foundation. If he doesn’t feel the same way then you’ll find other love this year and you won’t have the same relationship anyway.

I don’t know how you should tell him but you should.

Best of luck

Yes just ask. Nothing heavy, just something like, I really value our friendship, but have you ever thought that we might be more than that? I’d be open if you are, but no pressure, fine if you prefer not.

I think if he wanted more you'd have snogged at midnight. Most men are not backwards in coming forwards in that situation.

@RedHelenB I guess that. He did lean in for by something but in my confused state I raised my glass to him.

He was quiet this morning like embarrassed.

OP this is a tricky one - the question is how much do you value the friendship? If you put your cards on the table and he didn't reciprocate would you feel a huge loss? I'm on the fence on this one as I'm in a similar position with someone who I fancy but value the friendship too much to jeopardise with risking putting it out there. If feel for you.

OP, if you've dated this man before and it's not worked out what do you think will be different this time?

@ChicCroissant

OP, if you've dated this man before and it's not worked out what do you think will be different this time?

Think about this.

Do you think he wants FWB? In the nicest way possible, if he was all lovely and has dated you in the past then wouldn’t he come out and say it instead of leaving all these flirty clues?

How close are you? Can you talk about it?

@CouldThisReallyBe it’s hard. I like spending time with him. Attraction is there. But I get mixed signals from him. I am unsure as there is something holding me back.

@NCNCoohlalaaa and @ChicCroissant
Previously we didn’t get to know each other. Had our walls up. It wouldn’t of worked.

Something terrible happened last year that caused him to breakdown. Supported him and then I had health scare. He supported me. We grew close. Lockdown too helped. Discovered interests. Dynamics changed