christmas presents from in-laws

[leoandmummy]

to be pissed off that sil insists on buying all xmas gifts from argos for 4th yr running because she gets vouchers free and dp has to spend hard earned cash on her and she has not even got ds present so everything will be out of stock and will have to endure 1 hour long conversation with dp flick through catalougue while she is in shop....dp will get gift in vouchers so he can buy at later date...all £1 vouchers not the slightest bit embarassing

and bil calling to say his wife wants a £50 dvd set (same as birthday last month) and i have only ever recieved 1 present from them (bbble bath incase your wondering) 2 years ago.

mil and fil have also chose really expensive gifts knowing dp works all hours to pay normal bills...

then it piss' me off dp doesn't say anything..

thanks..offloaded

why does your dp ask them what they want?
just get what you can afford

perhaps they don't have much money to spare, a gift is a gift, be grateful whatever. I have used Tesco clubcard vouchers to buy gifts as without them we couldn't afford to give gifts - I hope none of my family would be so ungrateful.

Likewise no one is holding a gun to your head making you buy a £50 DVD box set - just buy what you can afford and wish to get them.

I'm starting to get stressed by all this angst over gifts received on various threads, I must stop reading them! It's just not in the spirit of Christmas is it? Or am I in cloud cuckoo land?!

i get what your saying but this is the 4th year running for birthdays, christmas' etc and we still have a gift 'order' from sil.
my family get what they want to get and no 'lists' or 'orders' thats why it pisses me off.
bil will also call and check dvd box set has been bought and if not the dp will be called 'tight' which sounds silly but upsets him so that isn't the spirt of christmas.
we buy some presents from boots club card but sil gets a vast volume of argos vouchers for nothing it isn't something she saves up all year to use to buy xmas presents and money isn't a issue for her.

I would just issue an announcement in September that you will be making everyone's presents this year.

And I cannot believe a grown woman expects a fifty quid present!

play.com are good for cheap DVDs and they have a sale on at the moment. Won't arrive in time for Christmas (but never mind, will have been ordered!). You can get boxsets that would have been £50 for much less, like £20 ish.

How much are you getting in Argos vouchers? There must be a toy in there that is suitable for your DS, otherwise, you can sell vouchers on eBay. Why don't you choose a toy online from the Argos site so you don't have to mess about choosing instore. You could always get batteries for other toys that DS has, Argos won't be out of stock of them.

Re the expensive gifts chosen by MIL and FIL, can you buy a cheaper, but similar alternative?

I know.. Thank you. They have a friend living with them and he has bought everyone in thier family something for £50! the mum dad sister brother brothers wife 3 kids my dp my ds!

it adds pressure

£50 dvd set - she's having a laugh isn't she. Get her something vouchers towards....

mil went with to chose and buy present and fil has chose something for much much more and asked dp to get money off the friend living at bil for the rest and he'll pay difference. Nothing has been mentioned about difference in price again. and i know he will be thinking that he deserves to push the price up after all he done bringing his children up.. very odd i think

when it was her b day we had to visit at a specific time but take presents day before so they were there waiting and bil told us what to buy. she has a list

If your sil buys from argos every year then next year why not have a trawl through the catalogue, in october or november, there is bound to be somthing in there your dc will like and give her a few ideas.
With regard to adults now we have children we dont buy for adult relatives. We had "the conversation" a few years ago, and said we would only buy small token gifts in future.
Obvioulsy its nice to get what you want, but dictating to people what to get, esp with adults is a bit much. I think its very rude and presumptive as they dont know your money situation and just because they can afford something doesnt meant you can.
Whats worse getting into debt and spending money you dont have to please your relatives or growing a thick skin and telling them you cant buy them the extravagant presents they are requesting.
Or if you cant do that what about doing all your shopping very early so when they phone to tell you what they want say "what a shame I have done all my shopping already"

Friend living with them probably feels he owes them a bit of a thank-you. Fair enough. Nothing to do with you!

I would take the moral high ground and let them know that you think that Christmas buying is getting a bit excessive and that you will just be giving everyone - and each other - token gifts.

i think yiur way of getting presents is not the norm all thisd asking and ordering im sure apart from the kids and each other maybe most people just buy a small gift hun

ignore all these demands

No, YANBU at all.

My MIL usually asks for gifts that we really can't afford right now. Our financial situation is so bad that we could lose our home at the end of January. Has this stopped her? NO

The best bit is, she will go out to bingo, treat herself and smoke like a chimney whilst all the time moaning that she's got no money. We aren't getting a present from her until the New Year (read that as sometime never) because she's "broke". The difference is, that she will have a tantrum if she doesn't get much from us as she said to SIL last year "I deserve a decent present from all of you"

just say you are making presents from now on

give everyone fudge with little notes signed from kids

who cares what they say

they sound like grabbing loons

YANBU only a spoilt brat of an adult would make a list....thats what kids do, a 'wish list'....but isn't that what its supposed to be?...a wish list? i mention certain things i'd like, but never do they exeed about £10....and thats only to my parents and my sisters when they ask!!....they always ask for ideas for the kids, and i basically just tell them what 'character's' they like and leave it up to them to choose something at their price range!!

to ask for a £50 present is stupid....i think i'd feel sick to the stomach if anyone i knew ASKED for something that was £50!! tell your dp you'll go and do the shopping, come home and wrap them, stick em under the tree till xmas, but dont tell him you've not got the thing she wanted, just come home and say 'i saved loads for you, its good when you know how'....then wait till she opens on xmas and make sure she knows you choose it....she might realise her demands are childish....and if she winges tell her to 'grow up'.....

well thats what i'd do, and i'd have great pleasure in it too!!

well i'm asking for a pony! it's not unreasonable

Have I understood right that none of your dp's family will buy you a gift, but expect you (as a family) to be buying them £50 presents EACH? If that's the case, your dp can spend his hard earned cash on buying something nice for you and tell them they will take what they get and they can like it or lump it. Miserable gits.

Do not be bullied by this family any more.