Turns out my friend is my counsellor....

[kelseypops]

Should I say anything?

Having telephone counselling with a womens aid type charity.

Had my first session yesterday and this morning realised my counsellor is school mum friend. My dc and her dc are in the same class at school.

Obviously know her first name from the charity but that's all so would never have guessed form that

She works full time, I know what she does her a living. Had absolutely no idea she does this too - so I say anything? Have absolutely no idea what to do. I spoke to her at great length yesterday and didn't have a clue it was her from her voice!

I only know as I saved her number - went onto what's app and can now see her saved name under or what's app conversations.

Do I tell her I know?

@ClemDanFango

Did she not introduce herself at the start of the call?

Just the first name

I'm going to call the main number I rang to start with and explain it to them.

This is really weird op, several red flags. Why would she use her personal number? Why did she even take you on as a case? So she pretended you two didn't know each other??? Didn't tell you? None of this is ok. You really should talk to a senior person in the service about this

I'm sorry OP, but she isn't wonderful. She is being completely unprofessional and it is completely unacceptable. I'm a mental health nurse and have had a couple of referrals come in and be allocated to me about people I know. The second I realised that I knew the person, I closed the file and explained the situation to my line manager. It would be wholly unprofessional and unfair to the client to continue to read in to their case and find out information that I shouldn't be privy to.

You may not see it as unprofessional however any professional knows that it is, as does your friend. I'm actually horrified at this, on a professional level.

This is so weird, does she have a completely different telephone voice or something?

This is very unethical and unprofessional, OP.

I’m also wondering why she’s contacted you from her personal number? Surely she should have a work phone or otherwise she should call from withheld. I work in domestic abuse and it’s crucial to maintain boundaries, I would ask the charity’s Team Leader or Management for another counsellor but she really should not have taken your case on.

Ok....I'm prepared to look like an idiot.

I've called the charity and said about the situation. They said they don't have anyone working for them under that name.

Ended the call, looked at my phone trying to work it out.

I've only gone and saved my counsellors name under my friends name too. I have no idea how the hell it's happened. But as I've gone on to the actual contact....there's 2 numbers saved under it. So that's why when I go on to what's app it says 'Sarah charity worker' under that conversation.

So yeah....it's not the same person. My mistake 🙄 sorry everyone but at least mystery solved and there is nothing bad!

This is quite unprofessional of her if she knows who you are. She also shouldn’t be using a personal mobile number.

You need a new counsellor

Haha thought it sounded weird.

@Letitsnoooow

Haha thought it sounded weird.

I clicked on the contact and it was the same as her number - I just didn't see the other number saved also 🙄 🙈

Good job I didn't personally message my friend!

Oh blimey, glad it's sorted OP.

I did think it was weird you didn't recognise her voice. I pictured her using her best Hyacinth Bouquet telephone voice!

Definitely change.
You need a completely ''Closed'' Counsellor/client 'relationship'.. She will of course keep confidentiality, but if you know each other outside of that 'relationship', it could make you feel awkward.

Mistakes happen. Positive, you’ve got fab new counsellor AND a nice friend. Have tea, and forget it.

Oh just RTFT.. that is good!
I did think ''What a coincidence!''.

@WorraLiberty

Oh blimey, glad it's sorted OP.

I did think it was weird you didn't recognise her voice. I pictured her using her best Hyacinth Bouquet telephone voice!

To be fair...in the texts the counsellor had sent me, she sounded exactly like my friend. In the words that she uses. And then in the phone call, I could of quite easily been speaking to my friend.

As I said, my friend is wonderful. I could tell her anything (and have done) and would trust her 100%. She has also gone out of her way to check on me through Xmas.

Just technology for you and my absolutely worn out state of mind!

I thought you said she introduced herself and the name was the same? But the charity says nobody of that name works there??

@Howshouldibehave

I thought you said she introduced herself and the name was the same? But the charity says nobody of that name works there??

Yes the first name. They have the same first name hence why they have both saved somehow under the same contact in my phone

OP I work as a counsellor for 2 charities. She 100% should have declared that you are someone she knows.

I would simply ask for another counsellor stating you have realised it is someone you know.

I am surprised she rang from a private number. When I ring I have to do so with number withhold from 1 charity and the other we use a separate phone number.

ah just saw your update .. Still surprised she rings from a number you can see though.

@Enko

ah just saw your update .. Still surprised she rings from a number you can see though.

She texts me and tells me I can contact her on that number whenever and she will get back me if needed.

Oh what an odd experience! At least now you have set your mind at rest she is not your school run friend after all. That said, I would tell the counsellor at your next session what happened and about temporarily thinking you knew her. Telephone therapy can be odd in that you have no face to put to the name and the voice and it can be very easy to form ideas about the person. It might be useful to spend a bit of time differentiating her from the friend so you don’t then import feelings from one relationship to the other.

By the way, it’s unusual to have two kinds of talking therapy at once. Maybe talk through with both counsellors?

@Craftycorvid

Oh what an odd experience! At least now you have set your mind at rest she is not your school run friend after all. That said, I would tell the counsellor at your next session what happened and about temporarily thinking you knew her. Telephone therapy can be odd in that you have no face to put to the name and the voice and it can be very easy to form ideas about the person. It might be useful to spend a bit of time differentiating her from the friend so you don’t then import feelings from one relationship to the other.

By the way, it’s unusual to have two kinds of talking therapy at once. Maybe talk through with both counsellors?

Yes my mum said this also. I was under the impression I should contact my local womens charity to support myself in getting housing.

I'll speak to my actual therapist about it all next week

Thank you for being honest OP so people on here don't worry x these things happen, glad all is well and that you can continue to have your counselling. Happy New Year

Very unprofessional...very unethical....she could be struck of by her reglulating body