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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU tenants in Common

50 replies

Somanyquestions1984 · 31/12/2021 22:34

Have been with my partner for 10+ years “on and off” married only for 1 year.
We need to buy a house as we want to start a family.
I work full time in a reasonably well paid profession. My DH works part time in reasonably well paid profession and does minimum hours so he can also work on a PhD (Ancient History) part time. It is a totally different subject area to his current work.
He does have potential to earn more in the future in his current role by increasing his hours but his desire is to become an paid academic.

For the house, it will be myself bringing the whole of the deposit (equity from a previous house purchase). My partner will contribute to mortgage (smaller amount due to disparity in earnings).
My DH does insist that this is temporary and he expects his earnings to increase after the PhD. If I’m lucky enough to fall pg and have a healthy child I would probably want to work part-time which in my area is basically dropping 1-2 sessions.

My question is AIBU to want to do any new mortgage as tenants in common to protect the equity if we were to split. I should say that DH has a greater Kiki hood to receive inheritances possibly more than one as he is only child with Uncles/Aunts who are childless. I will likely not get anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanyquestions1984 · 31/12/2021 22:34

Sorry for the long one in New Years Eve!
Happy New Years in advance too

OP posts:
titchy · 31/12/2021 22:37

Protect your equity. He won't earn much once he's got the PhD - honestly - he'll be on a succession of short term poorly paid contracts for years. Then may be lucky enough to secure a permanent lecturer position at the giddy heights of.... £35k....

Mumdiva99 · 31/12/2021 22:37

Get legal advice as you are married and I have no idea the bearing that has. But for now I would protect your investment if you can.
What if you can't have kids. What if you split after 2 years. What if he then tried to take half the house.....

Hopefully you will be together forever and can change things in future.....but for now....look out for you.

Darbs76 · 31/12/2021 22:44

Yes absolutely protect your equity

Original poster
Somanyquestions1984 · 31/12/2021 22:55

Yeah thanks Titchy, I agree and we are both fully aware that a successful academic career is not guaranteed hence why he keeps up his license in current work.

OP posts:
pilates · 31/12/2021 22:58

Yes protect your equity.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 31/12/2021 22:58

The complication is your married so every thing is presumed joint if you split. On paper I own 1.5 houses, DH 0.5 houses. Reality is they are both jointly owned (but tax wise its better the other way).

DamnYouAutoCarRental · 31/12/2021 23:00

If you're married it's a lot harder to protect equity, the standard is a 50:50 split. I think this is slightly less cut and dried in a short marriage with no children, but if you're together longer term, you're unlikely to be able to protect your deposit.

PomPomSugar · 31/12/2021 23:03

Conveyancer here. You’re married so tenants in common means nothing. You need independent legal advice to protect your deposit.

Justkeeppedaling · 31/12/2021 23:04

Honestly, I think that's no way to manage a marriage. You're a partnership. You have a child. Everything you both earn, do or inherit is for the good of the family and not for the individuals in it.
You talk about protecting your assets in case of a divorce - but what if you don't divorce? Are you always going to be in an unequal partnership where one partner has more money than the other? How does that work when one of you shops in Primark, and the other wears Gucci?

SpellBounds · 31/12/2021 23:06

@PomPomSugar

Conveyancer here. You’re married so tenants in common means nothing. You need independent legal advice to protect your deposit.
Yes isn't it called a deed of trust or similar?
Cocomarine · 31/12/2021 23:10

With a time machine, I’d not have married a lower earning partner with lower assets than me, with whom I’d been on and off 🙈
Take legal advice.
Tenants in common isn’t pointless, as it would show the intention of both parties after marriage which might be taken into account by a judge if you ended up in court during a divorce.
It’s also not pointless because whilst you’re married, it’s your money / asset, not joint. So if you sold for example, you’d want your % going into your account. He’d have no right to it - it’s only on divorce that he might.
LEGAL ADVICE!!!!!

endofthelinefinally · 31/12/2021 23:12

DH and I are tenants in common. Why does it mean nothing? We were advised that this was important for IHT purposes (financial advisor). I will have to go and dig out the paperwork, but I would be interested to know. TIA

SpellBounds · 31/12/2021 23:18

@endofthelinefinally

DH and I are tenants in common. Why does it mean nothing? We were advised that this was important for IHT purposes (financial advisor). I will have to go and dig out the paperwork, but I would be interested to know. TIA
I think because it's fairly negotiable still for divorce purposes. However for IHT etc it should be fine.
Eleganz · 31/12/2021 23:20

I think you need to have a proper discussion about how you manage your financial affairs as a married couple really. You are supposed to be a team, but it doesn't sound like it at the moment. It seems like you are not really going to accept him being the lower earning partner long term, which means that his ancient history PhD is probably going to be a waste of time! I hope you have been properly honest about this expectation.

Taking legal advice on how to protect assets against your husband could be see as a pretty distrustful and hurtful move. I would say that if you are still thinking that you need to do this then perhaps you are not in the right place in your relationship to be buying a house together. How much does you husband know about this intention and what it really means for him?

I strongly suspect that any woman who came on here saying that her husband who earns more than her was taking legal advice on how to try and limit the amount of any new property she owned would be told to LTB sharpish by most of the MN faithful.

I'm not saying that women should not take reasonable steps to ensure that they have a decent level of financial independence, but this is not a case of this at all.

Eleganz · 31/12/2021 23:23

@endofthelinefinally

DH and I are tenants in common. Why does it mean nothing? We were advised that this was important for IHT purposes (financial advisor). I will have to go and dig out the paperwork, but I would be interested to know. TIA
You don't pay IHT for assets willed to spouses so really it doesn't matter unless there is another reason your financial advisor advised tenants in common over joint tenancy.
Mumdiva99 · 31/12/2021 23:31

But they don't have kids yet. They have a history of off and on relationship. Yes they are married hut only just and all the equity is hers....

Merryoldgoat · 31/12/2021 23:32

This would be a no from me. Not once married.

Eleganz · 31/12/2021 23:36

@Mumdiva99

But they don't have kids yet. They have a history of off and on relationship. Yes they are married hut only just and all the equity is hers....
Probably best to hold off on the big financial commitments rather than incurring legal costs to try and get round the fact that they are married.
Original poster
Somanyquestions1984 · 31/12/2021 23:54

Very interesting, I’m not concerned about divorce just questions came after a discussion I had with a friend. I was advised to strongly consider this that’s all.

OP posts:
HomeTheatreSystem · 01/01/2022 00:04

You can ring fence your deposit OP but you do need proper legal advice on how to do it.

scoobydoo1971 · 01/01/2022 00:06

A permanent academic lectureship in Ancient History is up there with the Holy Grail in terms of the odds of finding one. I am ex-academic fellow, and I was ruthless post-PhD at getting jobs fighting off 300+ other applicants...but it did mean moving...a few years here and there subject to funding. Not family friendly at all. I gave up when my kids turned up and do consultancy instead. Much easier to integrate into family life. It is also a tough gig in post-doctoral academia. My brother is an Professor and I wouldn't swap...it is slave labour in terms of his hours relative to pay. Protect your assets. Property is probably one of the few ways you can make easy money nowadays. You can always vary the tenants in common deed if your OH turns into a financially safe bet. You and future babies need assets.

HeddaGarbled · 01/01/2022 00:15

You can ring fence your deposit OP

The 10 year relationship will be counted into the marriage, so this won’t be regarded as a short marriage, so that’s not true.

You’ve married the man. You are no longer separate financially. In the event of a split, everything’s in the pot to be wrangled over.

Original poster
Somanyquestions1984 · 01/01/2022 00:19

Thanks Scooby,
I love my husband so it does seem rather bad taste to be asking this at all. Whilst I’m comfortable with him pursuing his academic career he actually is a medic so could go back to that quite easily but I often read on here about women being higher earners and avoiding marriage in these situations.

OP posts:
GCAndProud · 01/01/2022 00:30

You’re married so in the event of divorce, it doesn’t matter how you own your property because the court can make any order it thinks fit, regardless of strict legal ownership shares. Instead, you need to make a post-nuptial agreement if you want to ring fence any of your current assets or restrict liabilities on divorce (he needs to consent to this obviously, you can’t make it unilaterally). You should take legal advice on this.

Joint tenants makes more sense as a married couple because if one of you were to die, the other would automatically inherit the whole property and it wouldn’t form part of the estate. If you were to divorce, you’d sever the joint tenancy.

Lectureships are quite hard to get but they definitely pay more than 35k! I am a lecturer and the scale is around 39-52k, senior lecturer 52-61k and Prof 65-100k depending on where you work. Salaries go up annually until you’re at the top of the scale for your post. I started 8 years ago and in that time my salary has increased by 17k through moving up the scale and one promotion so don’t assume that he will be penniless forever if he’s going into academia. If you are going to go part time, your salary will drop so it may be more even.