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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner going on out NYE

19 replies

LML40 · 31/12/2021 14:49

So, I have a 10 month old and he's not been a great sleeper since he was born, so my bedtime pretty much revolves around when DS goes down. I usually follow an hit or so later after a bit of down time. My partner always has to do something on NYE no matter what it is! Obviously since COVID and having DS, going out on NYE isn't a priority! My dad also is having chemotherapy, so I have to be as safe as possible. My partner knows I wouldn't want to do anything as it's pretty impossible. He asked if I wanted to see some friends at theirs, but I can't stay up late as I'm knackered, so it's not worth me doing anything like that atm. I don't know if I should be annoyed because he hasn't for one second considered staying in and maybe having something nice to eat and watch a film or something! I'm going to go to my parents as I don't want to be at home if he's going to come home drunk, which don't get me wrong I love as I love being with my parents, but I just think to myself that it's slightly selfish. I think he feels less guilty as I'm going to my parents, but from the off he's always said he HAS to do something, so I've just accommodated around his plans.

Arrrrgghhh I don't want this to be a dampener on NYE after a horrid coup so of years with cancer and covid, but it's hard not to feel a little upset.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 31/12/2021 14:55

I don't know if I should be annoyed because he hasn't for one second considered staying in and maybe having something nice to eat and watch a film or something

Well, had you thought to ask or mention it ?

Do exactly what you want to do.

Go to your mums or go to his friends and leave when you've had enough.

WheelieBinPrincess · 31/12/2021 14:56

I’m sorry you have a crap sleeper, I have one too, and I’m sorry about your dad.

But how long do you want to put everything on hold? It’s ok to have a life outside your home. Just because you aren’t ready for one yet it doesn’t mean your partner can’t let go and be a bit sociable. It’s one night. You’re not even going to be on your own.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2021 14:56

but from the off he's always said he HAS to do something, so I've just accommodated around his plans.

He certainly could do something - stay home and celebrate the new year with his partner and child.

I wouldn't be impressed.

Notimeforaname · 31/12/2021 14:57

Also , I'm sorry your dad is going through that. Best of luck to him op Flowers

TequilaBlaze · 31/12/2021 15:00

It's one night OP. Let him have fun his way and you have fun yours. You can stay in with a film any of the other 364 nights of the year.

givemepiece · 31/12/2021 16:02

He asked if you wanted to go to the friends, you said no. You can't stay up that late. But want him to stay in with you when presumably, because you can't stay up late, you'd be asleep before the bells anyway??

Yababu (you are being a bit unreasonable)

KiloWhat · 31/12/2021 16:04

Did you ask him to spend it with you?
Tbh I'd not mind him going out NYE, it gets it out his system for a bit

KiloWhat · 31/12/2021 16:04

He can get absolutely hammered and you're going to your parents so it sounds OK? No?

rocketfairy · 31/12/2021 16:07

Does he do his fair share of childcare? Assuming it is his DS. It doesn't seem fair that you should be the only sleep-deprived parent

PinkiOcelot · 31/12/2021 16:09

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. So you go to bed a bit after your little one? Then what would he be doing? Sat on his own?

ilovetomatoes · 31/12/2021 16:13

What @Notimeforaname said.

Bonnealle · 31/12/2021 16:18

I don’t think it’s that unreasonable. You haven’t been together that long if you have a 10 month old (I imagine you met after the baby was born, but obviously nothing wrong with dating whilst pregnant!). If you want to stay in with your baby or go to your parents then that’s fine, he’s offered for you to go with him, but you don’t want to do that. Sounds like you both stay in every night and he wanted to do something different and you don’t. I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable, you just fancy different things on NYE.

Crunchymum · 31/12/2021 16:20

What did he do last year when you were heavily pregnant and restrictions were in place?

Addictinsane · 31/12/2021 16:23

I'm sorry you've had a crap year, but it's literally one day.. He will be with you 364 days of the year. I couldn't get upset about this, I wouldn't want to force him to feel he had you stay in and appease me if this was me.
Let him go out and have a good time, but in the morning he can do the lions share of the looking after.

AutumnLeaves21 · 31/12/2021 16:23

I think you’re being unreasonable op, sorry. He’s presented you with other options which you don’t want. So basically you want him to stay home, do normal stuff you’d usually do and can do any night, and be in bed/asleep before midnight. I really don’t understand why you’d have a problem with him going out when you’ve no plans to celebrate nye. Is it a bit of FOMO? I can understand that, definitely, doesn’t make you reasonable though. Go to your parents, have a nice chilled one and let him go out and have a bit of fun.

DreamingofTimbuktu · 31/12/2021 16:37

Is your partner, your son’s dad?

Spectre8 · 31/12/2021 16:44

from the off he's always said he HAS to do something,

So you knew from the beginning when you knew him that he will always go out and celebrate new years no matter what, so why are you complaining? Did you expect him to change for you? If that is his one thing he won't compromise on so what its one flipping night in the year. Its another matter if it was regular e.g. every weekend.

Loosen up, go your do your thing and let him do his.

skippy67 · 31/12/2021 17:23

@givemepiece

He asked if you wanted to go to the friends, you said no. You can't stay up that late. But want him to stay in with you when presumably, because you can't stay up late, you'd be asleep before the bells anyway??

Yababu (you are being a bit unreasonable)

Agreed.
Original poster
LML40 · 31/12/2021 18:04

Can I just make it clear he is the father of my our only child! We've been together for 7 years.

Thank you for all of your comments! I just needed a bit of advice.

I'm fine, he's out and everyone is happy.

OP posts:
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