How do you all do this?

[Someonemustknowtheanswer]

I cannot cope with day to day life. Working full time year after year to survive, same shit different day. It is all so utterly pointless. How do you drag yourself through the days, weeks, years? I'm single, no DC, no significant money or health worries which I know makes me luckier than most. I have hobbies, I exercise, I have friends and family, I've travelled. But Jesus Christ, I'm done. When does it all end? Does anyone know what I mean?

Many Visas have age limits in Australia teaandtoastwithmarmite I imagine that's what freeandfierce means by being too old.

I don't really think medicating yourself to the eyeballs will help. If you say you are already on anti depressants, increasing the dose until you feel numb isn't going to make anything better.

I'm 35, and I've achieved everything I set out to achieve. I have travelled, married, had two babies, got promoted, got a detached house in a nice town, 2 cars. I'm also heavily medicated for anxiety and I'm in two different types of therapy. I don't understand what my point is. I'm tired all the time. I go to sleep and wake up fed up. I feel like I should enjoy life but I'm also exhausted by it.
I'm expected to be all these things to different people (wife, mother, daughter, sister, manager, neighbour, friend) but I don't excel at any of them, I don't enjoy them.
I'm a bit flummoxed tbh. Like you I've completely lost any direction and at no point am I allowed to discuss this because I should be so grateful for everything I have.

Medicating the both of us more is a last ditch resort I think.

So this year I'm trying to focus on well being, self care and acceptance. Everything I've ever wanted apart from my family is materialistic, and I'm still not happy. I've set myself monthly goals that are family or self orientated. I'm hoping it will help. You mention your new job isn't helping so I suspect it isn't the job and more you iyswim

I am in a similar situation. No partner, No DC. I have a job I do enjoy but it can be physically and emotionally demanding and stressful a lot of the time. I have friends but they are dotted around the country and of course busy with their own lives. I’m not close with my family. Life feels unfulfilling and often pointless a lot of the time for sure. I dont know if I just expect too much though.

I don't really think medicating yourself to the eyeballs will help. If you say you are already on anti depressants, increasing the dose until you feel numb isn't going to make anything better.

Anti-depressants don't make you numb.

Medication is a life-saver for many people and is the only way thousands of can lead functional and normal lives. Please don't knock it or refer to being medicated as being "medicated up to the eyeballs" - it's quite offensive towards those of us who have no choice.

Yep. Every day is ground hog day.

@icedcoffees
I also have no choice and am highly medicated if you had read on. What I'm saying is that it isn't the answer for everyone.

It might sound counterintuitive but perhaps get out of your comfort zone, OP. Set yourself some real challenges. Overcoming hurdles can definitely help with a sense of achievement and purpose.

[quote nova99]@icedcoffees
I also have no choice and am highly medicated if you had read on. What I'm saying is that it isn't the answer for everyone.[/quote]
Yeah, I know it isn't.

But OP is already on medication and therefore at some point, her GP has decided that she needs some form of assistance, and at the moment her medication clearly isn't working - so the first point of call should be her GP.

That could mean she changes medication or just alters or dose in some way, or yes, goes off it altogether if they feel that's necessary or possible.

80'smum...

Yes. Just this. I get it completely.

I think you need to speak to your gp about your anti depressants, you shouldn’t feel like this, and I’d suspect it’s a symptom of your depression.

I have thought about just increasing my meds to make things more bearable. No matter how much I know that we a tiny spot in the whole universe bla bla bla, it doesn't help. I am essentially spending Monday to Friday counting down to the weekend, Sunday evenings feeling dread, and only 4 weeks a year actually feeling free. And this is it till I pop my clogs or retire. Why do we bring children into the world if this is it?

@MatildaTheCat

Get a dog. Changed our lives so much for the better.

Also learn new skills, wear different clothes, try new books and discuss with friends.

Agree with having goals too. Engage with people in a meaningful way.

How did getting a dog change your life for the better?

@Someonemustknowtheanswer

I have thought about just increasing my meds to make things more bearable. No matter how much I know that we a tiny spot in the whole universe bla bla bla, it doesn't help. I am essentially spending Monday to Friday counting down to the weekend, Sunday evenings feeling dread, and only 4 weeks a year actually feeling free. And this is it till I pop my clogs or retire. Why do we bring children into the world if this is it?

This is your depression talking.

Please go and see your GP.

Is it though? Or is it just seeing things clearly?

So it sounds like your work is a big issue. I love my job (teacher actually) and so long as I have to do something, it's that. I don't dread Mondays because I like what I do and my workplace and colleagues. As to the overall point, my considered opinion (I teach philosophy so talk about this a lot) is that it's whatever you decide it is. I don't believe in a god, fate, destiny, anything happening for a reason. Stuff happens and you respond, or don't. Or you do stuff. If anything I take a view of 'easy come easy go'. After a battering or two in the marriage game, I have a partner but its slightly arms length. My kids get my time and attention but as they get older I accept their independence and my inability to make them into what I want, they have to choose and I'll help and support and pick up a mess if they screw up. I give very few fucks about many things. Light touch really. I like 80smum post very much.

@Someonemustknowtheanswer

Is it though? Or is it just seeing things clearly?

No. I've been where you are.

And because of that, I know you won't listen to anyone who says otherwise because the depression is clouding your brain and you've convinced yourself this is normal because it somehow makes it easier to believe that everyone feels the way you do.

Please get some help - life is not supposed to feel this way.

I ran out of steam working full time in a stressful career.
My choice was to either work full time in a min wage job or part time in my better paid stressful job. To do so i had to give up all nice weekends away and holidays abroad. No new furniture , seldom meals out , constant watching the pennies and what house we had.
I found i did not miss them as i didnt urgently need to.pamper myself to cheer myself up or renew self as was more rested.
Wd that be an option.. its not easy in some ways as it affected everyrhing but it had its payoffs. . Can you surrender something.. wd this option appeal or be viable?

What makes your heart beat faster @Someonemustknowtheanswer?

What did you dream of when you were a child?

There's no law that says you have to 'adult', there's nothing to stop you selling your house and going to live as a beach bum in Thailand or being part of a commune in Outer Mongolia. All you need is a vision of the life you want to lead.

To be honest, I think everything is just shot at the moment. Sodding Covid on top of bloody Brexit, and we've had eleven years of the Tories making life worse for everyone except them and their mates, and the worst of it is there's so little any of us can do about it. I've stopped reading current affairs because it made me too angry.

I don't have any answers, but at the moment everyone is at a low ebb and lots of people are tetchy so there's not much good feeling around...

I know what you mean

Sometimes it is hard to see a way forwards

I know exactly what you mean. I try to cultivate my interests and hobbies. But alas - this is life!

You sound depressed. I have suffered from episodes of debilitating depression my whole life. I know I'm heading for one when I start to think and feel like this OP. Being depressed isn't necessarily about feeling "sad". It's worth seeing your GP and considering seeing a psychotherapist.
I hope you find your way out of this xx

Thanks to those who've responded. I don't think I'll find my way out of this. I think this is it.

A bit out there but would you consider really pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and going on a Ayahuasca retreat or something similar? Not for everyone of course but something I've always wanted to try in order to momentarily escape what can definitely sometimes be a mundane life. Friends who have done it say it is life changing.

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll Google it