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Original poster

If you were a wild teen, what are your teens like?

53 replies

FortunesFave · 31/12/2021 08:34

I was A1 crazy as a teen. From about 15 onwards I was all for the wild times...by 16 I was a regular in the pub and attending raves shortly afterwards in warehouses and all that came along with that.

DH was the same.

Our teens are 17 and 13...both are very cautious, very well behaved.

The older one....she and her bestie are getting ready for NYE which will be spent in another friend's house with a few bottles of champagne.

Their other friends who they used to be close to are all "into pills and MDMA" and it's off putting to DD and her friends...they don't smoke weed...whereas most of their other mates do and their parents do too...all very out in the open.

DD and her mates would NEVER try to get served in a bar or pub...we're in Australia and there are plenty in the city where they could but they just wouldn't dare.

Is it common that if you yourself were a wild child, your kids won't be? DH and I have always spoken honestly to the DC about drugs/alcohol and the effects and risks.

But we don't actually drink ourselves or take anything any more...unlike some of our mates who do sometimes.

OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 31/12/2021 10:52

I guess I know as little of my wild child’s life as my parents knew about mine.

On paper he is very academic, into sports, never seen him drunk but… He has a life, the same way as I did, that he would keep private and I am respecting that.

honeylulu · 31/12/2021 10:57

I was very wild though my parents didn't know the worst two thirds of it. I told lots of fibs (that I was going to a sleepover etc) so I could go out clubbing or spend the night with unsuitable much older men.

My eldest (boy) is 16 and similar to how I was in some ways, desperate to socialise outside the family, explore the world and have adventures. He seems much happier and more confident than I was (I was full of angst and socially awkward which I hated) and is also very open about what he gets up to and confides in us when he needs to - I never told my parents anything. It means that I do know where he is and we can set ground rules and advise how he should respond in a troublesome situation. He switches on his phone tracker though I've never actually checked up on him. For me, the stricter my parents were, the more I was determined to rebel for the hell of it and/or to look cool. My son recently came home from an all night party we'd given permission for at 2am because he was bored. He often comes home long before normal curfew (or doesn't go out) if it's cold/wet.

He is talking about going to a "pop up rave" tonight and my stomach is churning! Chances are he won't bother though.

Mylifefeelslikeadream · 31/12/2021 11:02

Talking to dh about this the other day, neither of us were wild as teenagers but did go out and drink with friends. Timez have changed in terms of stricter ID, also there are more options for meeting up ie coffee shops as option instead of the pub, talking to friends online rather than meeting in the park

We have noticed that dds years seem to have split into 2 groups, those who do drink and drugs and those who don't

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 31/12/2021 11:20

I was a wild teen. The clubbing and fun was endless.
Dd1 was so wild she was borderline feral .
Dd2 however made a nun look wild

Annabellerina · 31/12/2021 11:27

I do wonder if tame parents bring up wild children and wild parents bring up tame ones, because children like to defy parents' expectations and be the opposite of them.

alrightfella · 31/12/2021 11:39

I think times are very different. At 16 I used to go to the pub after college every day, no one really questioned our age (90's). My dd hasnt got a hope of going in a pub at 17. They just wouldn't get served.

None of her friendship group smoke, she says knows people at college that vape but not many as there is no where they can do it. We had smoking areas in college.

She goes out shopping with friends, to dance classes, for meals out and they spend a lot of time at each other's house. She's going round to a friends tonight and will take drinks. But that's as wild as it gets.

lljkk · 31/12/2021 11:44

My mother rode random horses she came across age 9, was riding seatbelt less to fast on mountain roads in 1950s, as long as it didn't become public knowledge she got away with everything. Smoking, sex, you name it. So did her siblings. PKs.

housemaus · 31/12/2021 12:49

My parents were both pretty wild - they were teens in the mid 80s, there were a lot of raves etc. One of them ran off and moved into a squat in Birmingham for a while with their friends at 16 and didn't tell my grandparents (and still maintains it was great fun), the other was taking any drugs offered to them, tattooing themselves and losing their job repeatedly for being a chaotic mess of a teen/early 20s.

They probably think I was quite boring by comparison - as a teen I was pretty well-behaved generally, and especially as far as they knew. They saw a bit of underage drinking, but nothing major, and I'm sure my mum was aware I was occasionally stoned when I came home, but I was good at school and an average stroppy teen at home.

What they probably don't realise is that from 21-25 I went on an absolute rampage and did all the things they did in their teens plus some fairly interesting other things - I just lived by myself so they didn't see any of it! Then I met DH at 26 and now appear to be a very settled, calm person so they'd have no idea I was ever doing [redacted] while off my tits on MDMA at Berghain or....any of the other stuff Grin

DH was a proper wild child, and so were both his parents, so if we ever had a kid it's either going to inherit their strong wild genes OR rebel against us all and be the most boringly sensible person ever to exist, haha.

Sarahplane · 31/12/2021 12:53

I was a wild teenager but my 16 year old dd is quiet, sensible and very much an introvert. Dd would much prefer to be cosy with a book than at a party.

RockinHorseShit · 31/12/2021 12:53

I was a wild teen

DPs thought because I did well in school & worked hard that I wasn't wild at all. They couldn't have been more wrong

I haven't made that presumption with very studious DD & we've had moments with her with drugs etc, but thankfully I spotted it swiftly & dealt with it & she's much more sensible now. In general she's not wild at all compared to me, though my DPs would probably naively say she's worse

Laiste · 31/12/2021 12:54

Me - wild, promiscuous and obnoxious
DH - wild, abusive and physically destructive

20 something DCs - gentle, homely and lovely :)

Doublechins · 31/12/2021 12:58

Me and DH were both wild as teens. Although I was way worse. I don't have teens yet but this thread has given me hope.

DeepaBeesKit · 31/12/2021 13:43

I think you are viewing their behaviour through an 80s/90s lens.

"Wild" teens now aren't drinking/clubbing/doing drugs, that stuff isnt cool.

What are your kids up to online? Modern "wild behaviour" is more likely to involve watching porn, living through instagram, sending explicit messages, online bullying, excessive gaming and gambling etc.

Original poster
FortunesFave · 02/01/2022 01:25

@DeepaBeesKit

I think you are viewing their behaviour through an 80s/90s lens.

"Wild" teens now aren't drinking/clubbing/doing drugs, that stuff isnt cool.

What are your kids up to online? Modern "wild behaviour" is more likely to involve watching porn, living through instagram, sending explicit messages, online bullying, excessive gaming and gambling etc.

Oh I disagree. Of course that all goes on but it's not the default wild behaviour. I talk to parents of other teens and they're out getting off their heads on a regular basis!

Not that I want DD to of course but it's just interesting as to why she's not wired like that when DH and I were. She has lots of mates but they're all or mostly like her.

OP posts:
idiotmagnet · 02/01/2022 01:39

Ex-wild teen here with two very sensible teens! Took my 16 yr old to a dental appt recently and tried to get him to skip a class so we could get some lunch together - he was horrified! Both very respectful of authority in a way I never was!

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 02/01/2022 17:31

Hm. I was wild and wilful, and did pretty much anything I wanted from 13 upwards. My parents' attempts to temper my 'flow' didn't really touch me; it was weird. No animosity or feeling hard done by; I suppose because ultimately I just did my thing irrespective of any boundaries my parents set. If they imposed curfews, I climbed out of the window, if they stopped my money, I asked strangers, hitch hiked or bartered with friends or people I met. We didn't argue, I always felt they loved me unconditionally, I understood why they needed to set limits, but I just didn't want to stick to them. Paradoxically, I did well at school despite concerns about attendance. I sort of felt it would be beneath me to flunk, like it would be too predictable when this was what was expected. I left home at 15 so what had been described as 'wild' when I still lived at home just became normal when there was nobody to set boundaries.
DP very much the same, ran away at 15 and lived in squats and vehicles for a decade.
Both respectable professionals now, but DC1 has potential to be 'wild', I think. Definitely a free spirit and similarly uninterested in compliance with rules. Am laying strong feminist foundations so that she will not be so easily taken advantage of if she finds herself a bit wayward, and be able to spot a manipulator or predator.
DC2 is the most peaceful, cooperative person and derives far too much sense of self-worth and gratification from being 'good' to ever cross even the smallest line.

SafeMove · 02/01/2022 17:42

I think its all about numbers and variables. I was one of three and was the wildest - I had some childhood sexual abuse so acted out my trauma, I was bright and I was part of a music scene that encouraged 90's hedonism. My siblings were not at all wild, prob because they saw me being a dickhead.

I have 3 DC, in all likelihood one of them is prob going to be the wild child. DS1 is in bands, they definitely dabble in drugs but don't seem to go on days long benders like I did, he is very focussed on touring and recording, he seems too busy to be wild and his record company are grown ups. DS2 will probably be wild if he gets in with people who like to dabble in criminality, he is easily led, has no sense of self, no passionate interest and likes to 'have a laugh'. DD will not be too wild I imagine as her life is horses, so I am not sure horsey people go wild? Law of averages, personality, birth order, trauma, poverty etc has so much more impact, I think intergenerational patterns aren't a great indicator but there is some influence epigenetics wise I think? Interesting thread.

RockinHorseShit · 05/01/2022 14:10

DD will not be too wild I imagine as her life is horses, so I am not sure horsey people go wild?

Don't bank on this @SafeMove, I was very horse centred until I was 13/14 & I was very much the wild child & continued with risky behaviour well into my late 30s. I was always work & career focused though, but I partied very hard & did all kinds of stupid things. Very glad DD is nowhere near as bad as either I or her DF was & she had absolutely no interest in horses. Much to my disgust at the time, she thought of horses as "smelly things that are not at all interesting" Grin

MrsWooster · 05/01/2022 14:15

I was a complete goody-two-shoes and DP was a lunatic, so it will be fascinating to see how the DC turn out!

SameToo · 05/01/2022 14:20

I was wild. Drinking on the streets and smoking from 12, in bars from 14. My DD couldn’t be less like that thank god! I think YouTube plays a massive role as her and her friends just want to watch stuff on there. I’m sad they ‘play out’ less but glad they’re safer.

wiltonian · 05/01/2022 14:23

I always wondered how my DD would find a way to rebel as a teenager, given that she's been going to Glastonbury since she was 5 and we're pretty laid back about clothes etc.

She's done it though, she's growing a mullet...

sasparilla1 · 05/01/2022 14:27

I was a rebellious teen - drinking, smoking, pregnant at 16 etc...

My dd15 (year 11, but a July birthday) is pretty sensible. She has just enough "naughtiness" not to be a goodie two shoes.

I have a very different relationship with her than I had with my mother. My mother is a narcissist who didn't talk to me about anything, whereas I try very hard to be a good parent and I have a very open relationship with dd.

She is very sociable and is always out with her friends (male & female), but just not up to anything she shouldn't be.

Thank goodness....

sofakingcool · 05/01/2022 14:35

I wasn't really wild - quite rebellious towards my parents, bunked off school to shag my boyfriend etc

Never really drank, never ever took drugs. I was a relatively good girl in that regard HaloGrin

DS1 - 18 - pretty good, highly regarded by all. Would never bunk off, has slipped behind at college but that's about the worst he's ever done.
Been absolutely hammered at a couple of parties - one occasion put himself into a dangerous situation, which luckily his friends were there to help. Second time he got so drunk I thought he'd taken drugs - I've never seen anyone like that.

Ordinarily though, he's seen as a good one of his friendship group, doesn't generally drink much, gets his friends home safely who have had one too many.

DS2 - 13 - he's pretty angelic, hates confrontation etc. Still waiting to see what happens when he hits parties/drinking age..

Hoppinggreen · 05/01/2022 14:38

Mine is pretty dull to be honest (age 17)
She’s never been in a nightclub (I was a regular from 13), doesnt drink alcohol ever and has never done drugs, no sex either.
Last Saturday night her and her BF rebuilt a computer.
In one way I wish she would live a little but it’s nice knowing where she is and that she’s safe. Plus she’s happy so it’s fine

Hoppinggreen · 05/01/2022 14:40

@idiotmagnet

Ex-wild teen here with two very sensible teens! Took my 16 yr old to a dental appt recently and tried to get him to skip a class so we could get some lunch together - he was horrified! Both very respectful of authority in a way I never was!
Oh yes, mine gets very upset about rule breaking!!