For being upset with my relative

[FairyLights2]

So during pregnancy a gained a ton of weight! It was the first time in my life that I gained more than 20+kg. The first time this relative came to see me... she laughed at my weight gain. At the time, so did I tbh but I knew I would be able to lose it.

So that's what I did! I worked out frequently and started to lose the weight. I would share my weightloss with this relative now and again. She didn't seem to be that interested, so I stopped giving her updates. But everyone in the family knew I was exercising and eating healthily - no junk food.

I invited her around yesterday and with her she brought cake, cookies, crisps and a bag of junk food. Wtf! I was in shock. I asked her why would I eat it when I'm on a diet and she was aware of it too! She laughed and said...she just thought I would like it. Really!!!!!????

AIBU for being upset with her and thinking she's trying to sabotage my progress? Or do you think she was truly just being kind. I'm asking because in the past I've always given people the benefit of the doubt and then later on I discover they are indeed a snake in the grass.

YANBU. How rude and I would be distancing myself from them. They sound jealous. Well done for sticking to your healthy eating OP.

Without knowing the person it is a little hard to say. Some people genuinely are quite thick skinned and have no idea how they come across. Her response to laughing at you when you had put on weight was incredibly insensitive. However, bringing junk food over for a catch up might have been normal for her. Some people don't have a particularly healthy diet and some are happy to put healthy eating to one side for a special occasion like meeting up with someone.

Don't get too hung up about it, with the information you have given it doesn't come across as wrong.
Oh, and more importantly- well done on the weight loss and healthy lifestyle you have. It sounds like you really are doing well.

YANBU, I have found the same, people are so resistant to the idea of me eating healthily. I used to have a great figure and it seems some riemds and family don’t want me to get it back. My mum and DH are the only ones to support me.

I don’t know. Generally when I visit people I take something and it does tend to be biscuits/cake rather than say fruit/salad. Not really sure why, that’s just what people I know do.
Perhaps it’s something like that rather than an attempt to sabotage you as you seem to be implying?

Wtf! I was in shock.

Really? You were actually in shock? I doubt it. You need to toughen up. There are things to sabotage your diet everywhere.

It was thoughtless off your relative. You'd have been right to Take the bag of junk food etc from your relative and put it by the front door it
She can take it home with her or put it in the bin as she passes

That's a lot of junky stuff to bring to someone who you know is watching what they eat. If she'd just brought cake or a nice biscuit selection, they're usual types of "can't be empty handed" goodies, but sounds like she's brought loads of items- that seems a bit fixated, to me.

How is the relative’s own weight? I have also gained 30kg both pregnancies and lost it all in 6/9 months. Get a huge variety of comments from people. Really pisses me off. I think people project their insecurities and can be hurtful. It’s insensitive to laugh about the weight gain and it’s rude to bring so many snacks when she knows you’re losing weight.

Well done on your weight loss - it’s not easy but it’s very satisfying!