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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel embarrassed about this or am I just a massive overthinker

26 replies

Maddymorphosis · 30/12/2021 20:32

I do get anxious and overthink so I may be told so on here (but please be kind)

I had arranged to meet my bf with a male and female friend of his after I finished work, it was quite a vague plan really I said I could go, but not a time etc .
But he said it would be nice for me to go and he appreciated the effort.
Anyway I arrived and he said oh I forgot you were coming. Then later on in a jokey way I said 'SOMEONE forgot I was coming' and laughed

We had a good time and I left early as I had work
I realised he actually thought I was annoyed that he had forgotten, even though I wasn't at all.

He said I left suddenly which I don't think I did, I was just tired and had work.

Anyway he later told me he had said to them that I was pissed off he had forgotten and had 'stormed off'.

I hadn't done that at all, I had said I was going and said bye. I really wasn't bothered he forgot, it's such a minor issue and I guess he had taken my joke seriously which I felt bad for

I feel embarrassed he told his friends I was 'angry he had forgotten and stormed off' it wasn't the case at all , and the next day I could have sworn the female was a bit cold towards me.

Just feel a bit embarrassed and the friends probably think I'm some sort of stroppy and high maintenance person, even though it was a misunderstanding. I'm just overthinking surely?

OP posts:
BeLessMe · 30/12/2021 20:44

He was odd to say he forgot you were coming.
He was even more out of order to try to make you look bad to his friends by saying you were angry and stormed off when you didn’t.

How long have you been together?

onedayoranother · 30/12/2021 20:45

Well you said good bye to them surely - they were there when you left? So how could he then say you stormed off?
Either way, it's not her business or her place to judge you, if she is. Just act normal and it will be forgotten.

Toocooltoboogie · 30/12/2021 20:48

It's your bf that's acting like a weirdo.

Yummypumpkin · 30/12/2021 20:48

I wouldn't be embarrassed so much as asking why my boyfriend was lying about me, and why he thought he could tell me his lies and I wouldn't challenge them.

Have you told him you're not pleased he lied about you?

Original poster
Maddymorphosis · 30/12/2021 20:49

Been together a couple of years

I did say bye, but he says I 'went suddenly'

He apparently said 'i think she's pissed off because of X'

OP posts:
Charley50 · 30/12/2021 20:50

I don't understand how you were meeting them after you had finished work, then had to leave to go to work!?!

ANameChangeAgain · 30/12/2021 20:53

@Charley50 could be second job, work the next day, takes work home?

Original poster
Maddymorphosis · 30/12/2021 21:00

I meant work the next morning

OP posts:
Fuckitydoodah · 30/12/2021 21:04

Had he had a few drinks by any chance? Either way I wouldn't worry about it. He got the wrong end of the stick. Not worth paying it too much attention.

Shedmistress · 30/12/2021 21:07

I'd perhaps stop playing to his tune. If you are tired after work, go home. He doesn't deserve you wasting head space on his games.

Babyg1995 · 30/12/2021 21:08

It's obvious the op meant work the next morning . Op your boyfriends the problem here .

Flickflak · 30/12/2021 21:12

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Original poster
Maddymorphosis · 30/12/2021 21:29

I just feel stupid like the friends think I'm horrible or something

OP posts:
dworky · 30/12/2021 21:33

Your boyfriends benaviour is strange, is it possible he's trying to gaslight you?

dworky · 30/12/2021 21:34

*behaviour

Yummypumpkin · 30/12/2021 21:36

@Maddymorphosis

I just feel stupid like the friends think I'm horrible or something
This really should be the least of your worries.
Original poster
Maddymorphosis · 30/12/2021 21:37

Although thinking about it why would someone be off with me or judge me based on being a little pissed off about one comment? Surely not?

OP posts:
Ibane · 30/12/2021 21:53

@Maddymorphosis

I just feel stupid like the friends think I'm horrible or something
But I don’t see why you’re bothered about his friends — he’s the one behaving erratically, like some teenager who wants to demonstrate he’s too cool to care whether his girlfriend shows or not. It seems a bit initial and silly for a two-year relationship…
WonderfulYou · 30/12/2021 22:37

Sounds like your boyfriend was embarrassed that he forgot so tried to shift it onto you
He sounds like a complete twat.

Has he done anything like this before?

Most people would try and cover up the fact their gf stormed off, not make it up. And then why tell you afterwards - do you think he’s hoping you won’t want to go again?

Bluebluemoon · 30/12/2021 22:42

Sounds like he's playing Childish games with you. No way did he "forget" you were coming. And why on earth would he then tell his friends you had stormed off and then tell you he'd said that?

He's trying to diminish your confidence. Probably to make you question yourself (which you are doing) and cling to him more. Red flag!

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2021 22:50

@Maddymorphosis

Been together a couple of years

I did say bye, but he says I 'went suddenly'

He apparently said 'i think she's pissed off because of X'

He apparently said 'i think she's pissed off because of X'

Did he actually use the words 'stormed off'?

Blueeilidh · 30/12/2021 22:51

It's your boyfriend who is being unreasonable here. Maybe he realised he had made a mistake forgetting you were coming so he deflected that mistake by trying to make out that you were being unreasonable.

Nietzschethehiker · 30/12/2021 22:57

Your boyfriend is a drama queen and was seeking attention. What a silly thing to say. I'd be inclined to tell him to knock that off. If it happened again , well insecurity and needing attention isn't attractive so I'd be off..
However why in hell do you care what they think of you. I promise we are far less talked about in our own lives than we think. Don't waste time on random people's opinions of you. It truly is completely unimportant

AstroBunny · 31/12/2021 05:49

Your boyfriend forgot you, his girlfriend of two years, was joining him? Confused

If this is the case, you have much bigger issues…

autieok · 31/12/2021 06:37

From what you said you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. When you left did you say why you were getting off? Did you say goodbye? If yes it will have been fairly obvious you weren't "storming off"

I'm not sure why your bf would say he forgot you were coming unless he's quite a tactless person? This would potentially make you feel uncomfortable and why would he want that?

I'd be unhappy if I had a bf that slated me to his friends when I left. Surely if he was unsure if he had annoyed you he would speak to u to get to bottom of it? And even again if it was a tactless throwaway comment, why tell you? He's intentionally made you feel uncomfortable about the meeting. This seems to say more about him than you.