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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friends husband is a total weirdo and WTF

19 replies

Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 19:53

Friends husband is really controlling and I am not a fan but I put up with him because she is married to him and they have a child. He doesn’t like her friends and yesterday I met my friend for lunch - we have drifted a lot during the pandemic and we had a few hours catching up.

Anyway, he deleted me from Facebook yesterday which seems no coincidence to me. I had unfollowed him ages ago but it seems really odd to me that after being ‘allowed’ to see my friend, he immediately deleted me from Facebook.

Aibu to think he’s really strange. How would you react to this? I actually don’t care that the has deleted me as I think he’s a total weirdo but I do worry about my friend!

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 30/12/2021 20:09

My friends dh does this. I always accept him back but its just his thing.

Did you say anything to her regarding your opinion on him?

Original poster
Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 20:11

@Sometimeswinning but what’s it all about? It’s hardly the behaviour of a mature adult!

OP posts:
LolaButt · 30/12/2021 20:13

I’d be quite concerned about the friend to be honest.

100problems · 30/12/2021 20:14

I wouldn't react.

Do absolutely nothing.

AsYouWishButtercup · 30/12/2021 20:14

I had a friend like this, it was exhausting. I had to dance to the tune of whenever her ‘d’h would ‘let’ her go out. And I could try and persuade her to leave til I was blue in the face but she refused as she didn’t want to be poor. I haven’t seen her for ages now, I CBA with the hassle

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2021 20:15

@Sometimeswinning

My friends dh does this. I always accept him back but its just his thing.

Did you say anything to her regarding your opinion on him?

What? That's even weirder that he deletes you and then friend requests you again? Shock
Sometimeswinning · 30/12/2021 20:17

@Letshaveablackcelebration he's not very mature but I assume its because I don't like enough of his stuff. I then bump into him and get a request again!

I still think you said something to your friend which she repeated to him!

Original poster
Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 20:17

I think some of this is a strop because I don’t engage with him at all on Facebook but I don’t like him and only said yes on FB because of her. It’s so petulant and pathetic

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 30/12/2021 20:18

I wouldn't even let him know you have noticed. How can you tell anyway?

Original poster
Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 20:19

@Sometimeswinning yes it’s definitely because I don’t engage with him. God tho- it’s playground stuff- he’s 46 ffs!

OP posts:
Original poster
Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 20:20

@RaininSummer I just had a feeling as I could see someone had gone yesterday. I knew it was him for some reason!

OP posts:
Staffy1 · 30/12/2021 20:33

Did you ask her ‘How’s that knobhead?’ or something similar which she may have relayed to him?

TooWicked · 30/12/2021 20:35

I’d mention it in passing to your friend, just in case he tries to make out to her that it’s you that deleted him.

NailSaloon · 30/12/2021 20:38

I would carry on being her friend, see her occasionally. She has to somehow build her confidence herself, these couples are lacking in self worth, she means nothing you could be 80 and behave like a toddler.

Original poster
Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 20:41

@Staffy1 🤣 Sadly not- I didn’t even ask about him

OP posts:
Original poster
Letshaveablackcelebration · 30/12/2021 21:40

Apparently (according to another friend) it’s because I don’t like enough of his pictures of his kid 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m just not that fucking interested to be honest!

OP posts:
ASDmam · 30/12/2021 21:47

You just have to be there for your friend when/if it all goes wrong, he sounds like he needs more going on in his life.

Itisalwayspossibletobekind · 30/12/2021 21:59

@AsYouWishButtercup

I had a friend like this, it was exhausting. I had to dance to the tune of whenever her ‘d’h would ‘let’ her go out. And I could try and persuade her to leave til I was blue in the face but she refused as she didn’t want to be poor. I haven’t seen her for ages now, I CBA with the hassle
I'm sure it felt like a hassle, but please bear in mind that many abusers succeed in isolating their victims by forcing them into a position where others/friends/family just 'give up'.

OP you are doing the best thing you possibly can to continue to make the effort with your friend (especially as there's a child involved too), and as other PPs have said, just make sure your friend gets the facts about 'who deleted who'; also be clear that you are COMPLETELY unbothered by this stuff. Your friend needs your consistent, level head more than she may know (yet).

NailSaloon · 30/12/2021 22:34

I find busy people some of the worst for imagined slights, people with not much going on are content with their own company and dullness, the busy ones are always looking for drama and are incredibly needy of others attention in my experience.

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