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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No funding for tubes tied or vasectomies

24 replies

Crotiq · 30/12/2021 19:48

My CCG won’t fund either of the above unless exceptional circumstances ie pregnancy would cause severe physical harm.

So options:

20-30 years of hormonal contraceptives (how much does this cost the NHS?). I have severe mood swings, feel almost suicidal on hormonal birth control. I actually pulled a Mirena coil out myself to get rid of the side effects

Copper coil - DD3 is a copper coil baby. If that wasn’t bad enough I would flood every month with heavy periods. Nothing like having to send a colleague out to get you a new pair of trousers from Asda because you can’t even stand up.

Condoms. I’ve tried them all. Thin, thick, ribbed, barely there. They take a lot of the pleasure out of sex for me and I often end up with thrush after using them.

Rhythm method. I’ve been using this for 9 months. Tracking daily temps and not having sex during fertile days or before or after.

I’m now pregnant and awaiting an abortion, I have 3 children. I am done. I’ve had enough. I now have to go through with an abortion and the psychological scars from that do the CCG could save some money in the short term. How much is all the contraception and this abortion costing them? How much would it cost if I’d had the baby?

Meanwhile a man I work with has just been funded for an apronectomy (removing all his loose stomach skin after loosing weight). Good on him, I can understand why psychologically he needs the procedure. But it all feels very very shit and unfair

OP posts:
Original poster
Crotiq · 30/12/2021 19:49

I have been to the GP twice and BEGGED to be sterilised. Computer says no every time

OP posts:
Idontbelieveit14 · 30/12/2021 19:50

It doesn’t seem fair at all. How much is a vasectomy privately?

PineappleCakes · 30/12/2021 19:51

What's a CCG? My husband had a vasectomy on the NHS, about 5 years ago though.

Sorry that you're going through this Flowers

OrangeSyringe · 30/12/2021 19:52

cks.nice.org.uk/topics/contraception-sterilization/management/female-sterilization-tubal-occlusion/

I’m angry with you. Have you read the Nice guidelines and the literature they point to?

TheWitchersWife · 30/12/2021 19:54

Have you tried a different doctor or similar? My DH had a vasectomy 2 years ago on the NHS. We gave 2 DC and he was only 27 at the time but were pretty happy to do it after he told them it's what he wanted.

pinkcattydude · 30/12/2021 19:55

@Idontbelieveit14

It doesn’t seem fair at all. How much is a vasectomy privately?
It was about £5-£600 when friend had it done
TechGinny · 30/12/2021 19:56

That's absolutely awful, I'm sorry you're going through this. Whereabouts are you? I've been referred for tubal ligation, it's a huge wait to be seen but I feel very lucky that I've even got this far (I'm late 30s, three children, had awful times on combined pills, mini pills and coil).

Bellafrenum · 30/12/2021 19:59

I feel for you.

DH had a vasectomy on the NHS last year, it must be down to where you live.

They cost £500 privately.

Blossomandbee · 30/12/2021 20:02

Have you enquired about a vasectomy? My DH got one on the NHS about 2.5 years ago, the wait wasn't too long (although obviously that was pre-Covid!)
It is unfair. I'm surprised the apronectomy wasn't classed as cosmetic, like breast reductions are for women.

Wrongaddress · 30/12/2021 20:06

Who's doing your termination? If you're having a surgical in a hospital they may sterilise you at the same time if you ask. We do where I work. Usually we need to get approval from CCG, but not if we're doing it at the same time as a termination or a section

wtdse · 30/12/2021 20:19

We faced something similar when trying to get husband booked for vasectomy. Started to look at going privately cos I'm done with pill after 20 years! Anyway, tried another surgery a bit further away and got it booked and done within a week. Is it possible you can seek another surgery who may offer it? Sadly I think it's something that may become harder to get on the NHS now. Good luck

Original poster
Crotiq · 30/12/2021 20:23

It isn’t funded in my area. I am not married, I have a long term partner but we do not live together and I wouldn’t and won’t ask him to be sterilised. I want to be sterilised for myself, I want control over my own reproductive future. Going by when my mum had the menopause I’ve got another 14-16 years of fertility left.

The GP has said it isn’t a case of not letting me have one for any other reason than funding

OP posts:
StormzyinaTCup · 30/12/2021 20:24

OPI would do as wrong suggested and ask about a sterilisation at the same time. If that’s not an option can you find £600 for DH to have a vasectomy privately? This would be the best option and it could probably be done within the month. It would be a couple of uncomfortable days for your DH but would make a world of difference to you. I feel it would be money well spent, it would free you up completely and none of the options you listed need be considered ever again.💐💐

Original poster
Crotiq · 30/12/2021 20:24

@Wrongaddress Marie Stopes, medical not surgical

OP posts:
theginge · 30/12/2021 20:24

My husband is booked for a vasectomy on the NHS in a months time. He's waited about 6 months from referral but there was no arguments from the GP.

StormzyinaTCup · 30/12/2021 20:27

OP Just read your last post - ignore my bit about the vasectomy and push for the sterilisation when you have your termination procedure. Makes sense to me.

momofthr33 · 30/12/2021 20:40

A vasectomy is around £550, much safer than tube tying and more effective.

I'm having a c-section in April and my consultant won't tie my tubes as she said 1 in 120 women it fails leading to ectopic pregnancy or unwanted pregnancy.

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 30/12/2021 20:41

My mum got it on NHS a good few years ago. Can you just save up and go private? It's 2-3 grand.

momofthr33 · 30/12/2021 20:42

You could also move GP

CrotchetyQuaver · 30/12/2021 20:44

Tell your GP hormonal contraception makes you suicidal. You probably have an intolerance to synthetic progesterone (as I did myself). That seems a good reason as to why they should make an exception for you?

Awalkintime · 30/12/2021 21:04

Looks like GPs are still making excuses to stop women from having autonomy over their own body. Lame excuses at that that don't wash like the 1/120 chance of being pregnant/ectopic pregnancy but would still fit a coil with a 1/100 chance of the same thing!

Sparklfairy · 30/12/2021 21:08

Is it specific to your trust? Mine won't do sterilisations anymore and haven't done for years.

Bobbybobbins · 30/12/2021 21:13

I appreciate you don't want to ask your partner to have a vasectomy but have you had an open and honest conversation with him about it?

Having said that I totally agree about the unwillingness to sterilise. I have two disabled children and having more children was not an option. GP would not entertain it as a possibility.

Original poster
Crotiq · 30/12/2021 21:16

I won’t ask him because it’s about me, not him. We may split up and then I’d find myself in the same place as before.

The neighbouring county still funds sterilisation. Our county doesn’t. Postcode lottery

OP posts:
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