Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they could have helped?

34 replies

inesme · 30/12/2021 15:52

It's me and DD. Dad not around.

She tested pos on the last day of school. I tested positive a week later.

It's meant that we haven't seen any family over Christmas.

To make it worse it was DD's birthday on Christmas Eve. Her party was cancelled too.

She has been free a few days now but can't go anywhere since she is only 8.

None of my family (mum, dad, sister) have offered to take DD anywhere now that she is free.

No one has even offered to take her to the park. Or for a walk. Or to theirs for dinner.

I'm really disappointed as I saw on FB my sister had taken her niece (BIL's sisters kid) to a local attraction.

I'm still really ill to be honest so this has been a really shit christmas for her. I haven't been able to do anything.

I'm probably being sensitive but she hasn't been out the house for 2 weeks. She hasn't seen anyone and I am still coughing and very dizzy and have no been very fun at all.

In the family WhatsApp they've asked 'how are you/dd?' And I've said 'she's very bored.' My mum even said 'when she's out of quarantine I'll take her out' and nothing.

Sorry, feels like a rant.

OP posts:
Yumchips · 30/12/2021 15:53

I think you just need to ask and see where you get from there.

Original poster
inesme · 30/12/2021 15:55

I have asked. They said yes then haven't mentioned it since.

She hasn't even got her birthday presents from them.

OP posts:
VioletPetals · 30/12/2021 15:56

To be honest I wouldn’t be taking the children of friends or family anywhere if their parent was at home with covid, especially if she has only just recovered herself.

It’s a highly contagious virus, I wouldn’t want to take the risk.

I hope you feel better soon and fully recover in time to have a nice day or two out before she goes back to school.

SparklingLime · 30/12/2021 15:56

That’s crap of them, OP. I’m sorry.

DreamerSeven · 30/12/2021 15:57

@VioletPetals

To be honest I wouldn’t be taking the children of friends or family anywhere if their parent was at home with covid, especially if she has only just recovered herself.

It’s a highly contagious virus, I wouldn’t want to take the risk.

I hope you feel better soon and fully recover in time to have a nice day or two out before she goes back to school.

This I’m afraid, no-one wanted to see us until the whole house was free of covid. I hope you feel better soon.
MistletoeMischief · 30/12/2021 15:57

@inesme

It's me and DD. Dad not around.

She tested pos on the last day of school. I tested positive a week later.

It's meant that we haven't seen any family over Christmas.

To make it worse it was DD's birthday on Christmas Eve. Her party was cancelled too.

She has been free a few days now but can't go anywhere since she is only 8.

None of my family (mum, dad, sister) have offered to take DD anywhere now that she is free.

No one has even offered to take her to the park. Or for a walk. Or to theirs for dinner.

I'm really disappointed as I saw on FB my sister had taken her niece (BIL's sisters kid) to a local attraction.

I'm still really ill to be honest so this has been a really shit christmas for her. I haven't been able to do anything.

I'm probably being sensitive but she hasn't been out the house for 2 weeks. She hasn't seen anyone and I am still coughing and very dizzy and have no been very fun at all.

In the family WhatsApp they've asked 'how are you/dd?' And I've said 'she's very bored.' My mum even said 'when she's out of quarantine I'll take her out' and nothing.

Sorry, feels like a rant.

Does your mum realise that your daughter's out of quarantine now?

If you want/need help, then ask!

EmpressCixi · 30/12/2021 15:59

They are probably waiting for house to be Covid free. As you are actively sick with it, there is high probability your DD (now recovered) could pass it on to them. I don’t really blame them to be honest (yet).

If after you are both Covid free, they don’t do any belated birthday things I’d agree with you. But for now it is bad luck.

Original poster
inesme · 30/12/2021 15:59

Ok I suspected it might be that they thought she was a carrier even though she's negative. It's disappointing for her and me.

That said I'm out on Sunday and due to go to sisters for a big replacement christmas dinner. So I'll ask then.

Poor child has had a totally shit holiday from
School. Oh well.

OP posts:
BooksAndGin · 30/12/2021 16:03

Tell them.

Say she's out of quartine now, so when are you taking her out?

Sometimes you just need to be direct.

JustKeepSwimmingJust · 30/12/2021 16:03

If you think the presents are good for indoors, why not ask if they can do a contactless drop off to her?

Agree that I wouldn’t take a child from a household with covid for entertainment - only if you completely couldn’t cope or were off to hospital.

SparklingLime · 30/12/2021 16:04

As you are actively sick with it, there is high probability your DD (now recovered) could pass it on to them.

Is that true, @EmpressCixi? I don’t think so, as long as DD has negative LFTs now.

No reason why they couldn’t drop birthday presents around, OP.

Waftypants · 30/12/2021 16:04

They're probably trying to avoid caching it. IME people don't really appreciate what a hard slog it is being a lone parent during times of stress and/or illness. I've got lots of friends/family who always tell me they're there for me but when it actually comes to it very few of them have helped out practically when I've been unwell. They don't mean to be thoughtless, they have their own priorities which is understandable.
It's hard but when you're single you're no-one's priority. Having said that, I'm hugely grateful not to be in a shit relationship and I really value my independence . I guess its not possible to have it both ways.

moochies · 30/12/2021 16:21

That's a shame for your DD, poor girl.

But I'm afraid it's probably because she's still a close contact of someone who has covid. She could still pass it on to others. It's very contagious.

People don't want to risk catching it. I must admit that if someone I knew lived with someone with covid I wouldn't see them, because I'd then risk passing it on to my own household and anyone we have contact with. Sad

I'm sure that'll be the reason.

EmpressCixi · 30/12/2021 16:26

@SparklingLime

As you are actively sick with it, there is high probability your DD (now recovered) could pass it on to them.

Is that true, @EmpressCixi? I don’t think so, as long as DD has negative LFTs now.

No reason why they couldn’t drop birthday presents around, OP.

Yes it’s true as most common Covid in UK now is Omnicron which is much more transmissible. OP isn’t isolating from her DD, she can’t because DD is a child. So every day, multiple times a day the DD is exposed to the OP who is actively sick and positive with Covid. So same science applies to the DD as it would to anyone immune by jab or recovery who has had recent contact with a Covid positive person.

Really need to wait until seven days after the OP is recovered before her & DD can be sure they won’t spread it to others.

If the DD and OP were isolating from each other and using infection control measures. Living in different rooms, using different bathrooms, not using kitchen at same time and thorough cleaning of all surfaces and touch points after each use..etc....only then could say the DD isn’t a risk.

RedHelenB · 30/12/2021 16:29

You need to be direct and ask them if they could take her out, rather than just hinting at it.

SparklingLime · 30/12/2021 16:31

Ah, you’re still talking about “touch points” @EmpressCixi, so I think we can safely ignore your claims.

Sorry, OP, don’t want to derail.

Bluelegsredlegs · 30/12/2021 16:38

Just ask them directly? I don’t Understand why you’re not just getting your phone out and texting your family and ask them to take her out? Fair enough if they don’t want to while you’re Ill (I wouldn’t) Hinting clearly doesn’t work, just make clear tangible plans

EmpressCixi · 30/12/2021 16:39

@SparklingLime

Ah, you’re still talking about “touch points” *@EmpressCixi*, so I think we can safely ignore your claims.

Sorry, OP, don’t want to derail.

You are free to ignore basic infection control protocols, but there is nothing safe about doing so. As for my claims, why don’t you take the time to do a bit of online training on infection control for covid before deciding to ignore me and implying everyone else here taking the wait for Covid free household are not being sensible or science based?

www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/training/online-training

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/12/2021 16:42

I wouldn't be voluntarily spending time with a child who is living with a parent who has a nasty case of COVID.

I know it's a rubbish Christmas and if you specifically tell them she's out of quarantine and ask them to take her out, they may do it. But the fact that you need the break because you are feeling rotten would be off-putting if I'm honest.

olympicsrock · 30/12/2021 16:51

Sorry , I wouldn’t take her out while there is covid in her home either.

Horst · 30/12/2021 16:52

It’s going to be because you are still actively sick with covid and in your isolation period.

Yes it sucks for dd but they are just being safe.

TeddyTonksGirlfriend · 30/12/2021 16:54

YABU. Shit as it is. Hope you feel better soon and can get out and about with her.

Lou98 · 30/12/2021 17:00

Sorry but I do think YABU - I wouldn't want to take out a child when someone in the household is still isolating (especially if ill). It isn't the same as taking out their Niece at all (unless she also lives with someone who's positive right now).

Is there anything that you could ask them to get and drop off at the door for DD to keep her entertained?

It is shit but it's only a few more days and she can look forward to the Christmas do-over on Sunday

humdingle · 30/12/2021 17:21

It's a bit shit that none of them will take her out for some fresh air in the park or for a walk. I absolutely would if it was my family. Thanks

SparklingLime · 30/12/2021 17:21

That training was put up over a year ago, EmpressCixi.
I’d be amazed if it covers current self-isolation rules for the UK. But it may explain your outdated focus on touch-points. Fomite transmission has been shown to be minimal if at all.