Overwhelmed

[puppytrouble]

I'm in my early twenties, living at home and my mum has recently had unplanned urgent surgery. She was in hospital for three days and is now home. Obviously she is unable to do very much other than sit on the sofa and rest, so her share of the washing, cooking, shopping etc has fallen to me. I'm doing my best to look after her, as well as our seven month old puppy who is great but a handful!

I'm also studying at the minute and have assignments due in January. I'm behind on them and don't think I'll meet the deadlines. I'm working part time too, which in a way is good because it gets me into a different environment to clear my head.

For the last couple of years I've had mental health issues and am on medication and am having counselling (but my counsellor is off for a few weeks over Christmas/New Year). My mental health struggles make all the other things harder to deal with, particularly as I tend to keep going and try to get through stressful times (which probably contributed to me getting ill in the first place!). My GP has recently increased my medication dose.

Today I'm totally exhausted, physically and emotionally. I feel like I have no more left to give. Worried about my assignments and what my lecturers will think, but also too worn out to care. I want to do well in each area of my life, but feel that something has to give. At the minute that something is me! Had a panic attack for the first time a few days ago, triggered by feeling that everything I had to do was insurmountable. Considering she's just had major surgery, my mum very kindly asked me how I was yesterday and just having someone ask me that made me break down in tears and say "overwhelmed". Today I've decided I'm not doing any work on my assignments, even though I need to, because I think it might break me!

Just looking for a handhold really and some reassurance that it will be ok.

Deep breath. Can you apply for an extension on your assignments?

Try to focus on one thing at a time, letting all of life run riot in your head is overwhelming and ultimately pointless. It might help to write down what needs to be done and get yourself a rough timetable.

If your DM is well enough maybe she could order a food delivery, do a simple meal plan and so on. If finances allow get some paid help with the housework or accept offers of help from friends and family.

Go for a walk and get some fresh air, take a long shower and ask for help if you need it.

You can do it.

Handhold, OP.

I echo the PP. Break everything down into smaller chunks. Looking at it as a whole can be overwhelming and it's OK to feel like that sometimes (I've been there and know I will be again at some point). I usually make a list and prioritise. Cross things off when done for a sense of achievement. Most importantly, talk to someone; don't let it become a monster. Specifically, talk to your college tutors about your circumstances. They can help you, maybe with more time for assignments or by taking your issues into account when marking work (been there, too).

Good luck

You've got a lot on. What can you reduce?

Think about if you can take time off from your job.
Ask for extensions on your assignments.
Can you ask a friend to help walk the dog?
Does your mum have friends/family members who would come and look after her while you work/study?
Housework for 2 adults shouldn't be onerous - leave everything non-essential (the house can get a bit messy for a week or 2) and stick to simple meals.

The first and most important thing to do is to to contact your tutors and ask for an extension, which I'm sure will be readily given: I am not a lecturer but do some academic supervision in my industry role, and we understand that people are human and that life gets in the way. I'd ask for 14 days minimum.

Secondly, can you rope in a friend or relative (or even a local teenage animal lover) to help with the pup? Seven months is a tricky age for dogs, as they tend to be quite demanding, and even having somebody to take them for a good run once or twice a day will take the pressure off you.

Finally, do you have the cash available to buy in meal boxes such as Hello Fresh or Gousto? It's important that you and your mum eat well, and these will help reduce the pressure to shop and prep.

Also, as others have said, break things down into chunks - you eat an elephant one mouthful at a time.

Housework for two adults (particularly if one isn't terribly mobile ATM) shouldn't be insurmountable, so treat it as a series of small daily tasks - do dishes/load and empty dishwasher, clean loo/bathroom sink, put one load of laundry on.

You'll be grand.

Hi, that sounds exhausting.
I echo what others have said - ask for an extension, either a few weeks or if you can hold off submitting until the next submission period.
What housework do you NEED to do? Only do what you need to do, leave the rest.
And then rest asking with your mum, as much as possible - watch a film, read a book, look after your mind.
Good luck

Bless you OP.

Speaking as someone with a lot of experience with students in their 20s, contact your university/college supervisor and repeat broadly what you've said here. I promise you, they will be very on-side, and will happily give you an extension on your deadlines. Remember, universities etc WANT you to succeed. It reflects badly on them if people fail/drop out, and they will WANT to support you. But in order for that to happen, you need to communicate with them.
Think about how much longer you'll need for the assignments, and ask for that.

As an immediate fix, what else can you drop/hand to someone else for a couple of days/weeks? Is there a friend/kind neighbour who could walk the dog? Can you live on microwave meals for a week?

I think you need a plan OP. Start by writing a list of everything you need to do and work out when you can work on it. x

If the situation is not likely to ease in 2 weeks I would recommend speaking to your course leader about applying for mitigating circumstances rather than an extension - I think your situation and recent medical input would be strong evidence to put forward. Good luck and I hope your mum is improving quickly too.