Aibu to be tired of asking dp?

[Reila24]

To get our couples counselling booked. Many times we have been on the brink of breaking up after me being badly hurt at his expsense. Many times he has promised and pleaded for counselling but nothing comes of it. He gives it the big all in the moment but once everything calms down there is no mention of it from him. Ive tried everything
Crying, begging, offering the money, giving him a deadline, giving him an altimatium. Nothing. Works.

At first it was he was too ashamed. Then it was he was anxious. Then it was money. Now its just bloody laziness. He has no fricking drive to save our relationship and this is one of our main problems in the first place. The inblanace and lack of care on his side. Why am i bothering so much? I keep prompting him and he says he will do it but doesnt. He sits on his phone 97 percent of the time. It would take all of 5 minutes. Im at my wits end. We have a beautiful baby. I have no where to go. No job. He has promised me counselling back in august. We are now coming into january. Ive suffered so much by him in the mean time which may have been avoided if we had done counselling.

I dont want to ask anymore. Im done asking but im done pretending im okay living in this limbo state where he thinks he can get away with doing nothing.

Aibu

Ive tried everything Crying, begging, offering the money, giving him a deadline, giving him an altimatium. Nothing. Works.

Ultimations don't work unless you follow through on them.

What you have done is told him 'Do this or I will leave'
He knows you won't leave so he doesn't do what you want.
And he's right, you won't leave.

Allllllll the red flags.

LTB.

this is pointless

YABU for staying in what is a clearly a bad relationship.

What would be the point of counselling?

Why do you insist on staying with someone who can't be arsed to do better for you and your relationship together?

Why?

I know you would like him to demonstrate his commitment to the relationship by arranging the counselling. I get that, but he's not going to do it.
Because it suits him to have a young, first time mum, jobless, no money and clearly insecure at his beck and call. That's you.
He doesn't want you to feel happy and fulfilled and secure. Because in his weird world that would make him less powerful.
Give it up and get out. If you keep trying, his ways of avoiding will only get worse.

What are you getting out of this relationship except for ‘having a man’

[quote Reila24]@FortunesFave yes. He should be the one to do it since he is the one with the issues that negatively impact me and our relationship. Also to be seen to want to right his wrongs and try to be someone i deserve. Im the only one keeping our relationship afloat by tolerating his crap and forgiving him. His job is to seek the help so he doesnt inflict his crap on me anymore[/quote]
The problem is both of you. Book the appointment yourself or be prepared to keep warring / split up.

He doesn’t care enough about you or your relationship with each other to go to counselling.

He’s dangling it like a hook to keep you there.

Save your energy now for the things that matter.

They are

1. Finding a new place to live
2. Getting the facts you need about benefits and child maintenance
3. Thinking about your future as a single parent.

MN can help you with information about those things. Start a new post.

If you really have no one at all to help you then you need to get help from outside sources. To leave.

You. Don't. Have. A. Relationship.

I have to agree that ultimatums have to be followed through. What you describe does seem to be a failed relationship sadly.

And there is a vast difference between being alone. And being lonely. Think about that for a moment.

And, finally, people will only treat you how you let them treat you.