Anyone else's family like this?

[LetsStartAgain111]

On Xmas day my DP asked my mum, her partner and my brother if they wanted to come to ours for New Year's Day dinner.
My mum said yes they will.

Next day, mum messages saying her partner won't be coming but she and my brother will.
1 hour later she messages to say her partner will be coming now, apologises for messing us about and all 3 of them will be here.

Then today, she messages to say they are all going out for NYE as they have tickets to separate parties so they're worried they'll potentially be around people with Covid and she'll 'never forgive herself' if she brings it here on New Year's Day so they won't be coming.

She apologies and says she doesn't want to let us down but feels it's for the best.

Then an hour later she messages to say if we want they'll still come and they'll do a LFT before they come.

Then about 20 mins later, she messages to say 'under the circumstances it's probably best' they don't come as she's been around someone with Covid this week and so has my brother and she's worried they could pass something to us.

I just let this stuff go over my head usually as it doesn't really surprise me. My DP is really annoyed saying families don't do things like this and they're always letting me down.
I don't feel totally let down to be honest. I just think DP and I will just relax at home and have dinner ourselves. DP gets annoyed that I don't react more to this behaviour.

I don't even know what to make of it all to be honest. Anyone else's family so this?

"but whenever I tried to arrange seeing her, she would say she was worried of Covid etc but then she'd be at a party that same evening."

She's not worried about catching Covid herself but is worried about passing it on to you - especially when you're pregnant.

@Baileyscheesecake
I only told her I was pregnant on Xmas day. So just a couple of days ago. So that thing with the party and all the other times she cancelled, I wasn't pregnant then.

My money is on them wanting you to offer lifts as per usual.

@Thatsplentyjack
Yes my partner's does get more annoyed about it than me. I think my partner is already quite resentful towards my parents because of things I've spoken about in relation to my childhood. So anything else that happens winds partner up more than it does me.

@PizzasPlease
@Wrongkindofovercoat
I did wonder if the taxi thing could have something to do with it.
I remember a couple of years ago we said the same thing so they got a taxi here which cost £8 but they kept going on about it. So I ended up driving them home.

Your Mum clearly acts on impulse. If she went away and throught about it all, she could have given you one clear answer. You're obviously used to it.
What's normal for your family isn't necessarily normal for everyone else, vice versa.

My brother is like this!

@Almost2022

Your Mum clearly acts on impulse. If she went away and throught about it all, she could have given you one clear answer. You're obviously used to it. What's normal for your family isn't necessarily normal for everyone else, vice versa.

Thought

Well that's just shit of him OP. My dp had a terrible childhood. He minimises it, but ot was bad. I would never get angry at him for things his parents do now. Not my place.

I had a friend like this only she'd create scenarios the night before or on the day when I'd already bought the food/drink. Notice the past tense - HAD a friend.

Stop asking them OP, their loss.

@LetsStartAgain111

Strugglingtodomybest

This is like my family, but it reminds me of for ends who are like this. Did yourmum have a traumatic childhood?

Yes I think she did, and she's had a really awful time in an incredibly abusive marriage for many years from when she was a teen until early 20's which was just horrific.

Firstly, well done of making sense of my post. Yes, I had been drinking!

Secondly, this indecisiveness/people pleasing which she is displaying is very common in survivors of abuse. I'm too hungover to go into detail but there's loads about it online if you have a Google.