So I’ve posted a couple of times about my ex under different usernames and received some amazing advice.
Short back story: Ds’s (age 2) dad and I split almost a year ago following a horrendous abusive relationship. He is currently in police custody for breaking bail conditions and harassing me after being arrested for criminal damage to my property, threats and violence.
He moved back in with his parents earlier this year. During this time his mum has defended him to me in messages etc (he is a drug addict, gambling addict, violent, has run up thousands of £ of debt on these and cam sites and other such lovely matters), which she has funded partly. They pay for his car, his phone, he lives rent free etc. His dad pays him cash in hand so he can continue to claim benefits in order to avoid cms payments…. However I am apparently the bad person and it’s my fault his life has fallen apart 🤷🏻♀️? I have also been called selfish and abusive for not allowing their son to have access to my son until he can prove he is drug free/ is not a danger to him.
I have put up with these comments for months and very rarely bother to reply. It’s their mentality or they have fallen for their sons manipulation and lies. Not my issue. The only thing I have ever said to his mum is simply, if you would like to come and visit your grandson, that’s great, I’d like him to know you etc. I was told “thanks, that would be nice”, then never heard another word.
(I’m rambling sorry) anyway last night I get a random message from ex’s brother asking why I’ve had him arrested again. Didn’t respond initially. However then he begins pleading on behalf of his parents, please let them see dgs as they both don’t have long left (mum does have health conditions but not life threatening I don’t think). Goes on about how ex has been causing them so much stress and I’m adding to it by keep getting the police involved at their home. I simply replied then they should kick him out? Hours of messages after this saying how parents are really missing dgs… please let them come and see him before they go.
I’ve never stopped them. They’ve never asked.
So AIBU to just completely cut contact with the whole family?
Part of me feels bad as I realise they are torn between their son who is a master manipulator, though honestly I think if it were me I’d risk upsetting the man child to see my grandson who I’ve not seen for almost 2 years?
YABU- ask them again to come and see him. Your son deserves to have his grandparents in his life? Olive branch
YANBU- sod the enabling bastards life’s too short
Thanks