Ex husband and I split 3 years ago. Main reasons were his lying, gaslighting, unhelpful-ness, it was a toxic relationship. I knew for some time before we split it was the end, he had had an emotional affair that I struggled to get over and he never really thought he was in the wrong. We had young children and he barely helped, didn't help around the house, I felt like a mother to a grown man who lied to me all the time. He also sexually assaulted me.
I told him I wanted to split and soon after I ended up in a relationship with someone else, it wasn't the best timing. We were aware of that and did decide to take things extremely extremely slowly, including not speaking for a couple months when ex h was not happy about him. I am still with this man now and he is wonderful and kind and I trust him and everything else I didn't have with my ex h, after 2.5 years he finally met my children and has since spent some amount of time with them, not a lot. Odd hour here or there, sometimes at the park for 30 mins, but slowly introducing our lives into one another's. My children enjoy his company and are always happy to see him, he is great with them.
Ex h won't allow me to move on with my life, he brings up everything my children mention about my partner and time spent together and passes judgement on what he thinks, what I should and shouldn't do. He tells me he's seen me multiple times with partner and children around where we live and isn't happy about it, this isn't the case, there has never been a time where myself and children have been walking around where we live with my partner. This is significant because he stalked me for around a year after we split.
I don't know what to say to him, I don't know how to act, he is controlling and manipulating and always has been but still tries to do it. To him I know stand firm to a certain extent but inside i feel confused and never get out exactly what I want to say. He still tries to control so many aspects of my life but passes it off as other things. He still feels he has ownership over me. He has had a serious girlfriend in this time that spent a lot of time with our children which I never knew about until told by children, but he wouldn't allow my partner to meet them for the longest time, and he always had to be told, they are no longer together.
I'm not sure what I'm asking, I just need advice.