How the hell do you cope with being overweight and having 2 under 2s?!

[485bantuknots]

I'd just like to make it clear that I'm talking about myself and myself only in this situation! I know there are many people who are overweight and they're still able to maintain some level of fitness but I'm definitely not one of them.

I've always been really tall and have had wide hips, big thighs and a big bum since I was in secondary school. When I was 16 my bottom half was a size 16 (because of my height, hips, thighs and bum!) whereas my top half was a size 12. I maintained this size until I was 19 and it all went downhill when I went through my first heartbreak. I put on quite a bit of weight but my body still looked the same so I could kind of get away with it. Fast forward two years and the pandemic hit. I can't even tell you how much weight I put on but it was A LOT. I'm sure I put on a few stone at the very least.

The same year of the start of the pandemic (summer 20) I got pregnant and was homeless at the same time. My weight stayed the same throughout but due to having a bad labour where I had three surgeries, I was so depressed all I did was eat. I'm now pregnant again and I'm just thinking how the hell can I be so overweight and cope with looking after two little ones?! I've had PGP in both pregnancies which hasn't helped but the more I struggle to bend down, walk short distances and carry DD etc I just can't see how it's going to get any easier.

I realise I may have skipped a lot but hope you can get the general gist of the situation. My issue is, I'm such an emotional eater. I can't even put it into words how bad it is. I'll eat when I'm sad, I'll eat when I'm happy. I'll eat when I'm feeling sad about my weight or when I'm feeling down/low in general. I eat when I'm bored and I'll eat just for the sake of it even if I'm not hungry. I order fast food SO often especially since having DD. I don't smoke, gamble, take drugs and I barely drink. I know there's other things people tend to do when they're stressed but I don't do any of them. I just eat.

I've decided to go cold turkey and start off with not eating fast food and trying to increase the amount of water I'm drinking daily for the new year. I know I can do it especially as I'll be having a second baby and really can't waste money on junk food but I still feel the need to share how difficult I find this and see if anyone has any tips or if they've been in a similar situation (with or without having young kids)?

Any advice on how I can decrease how much I comfort eat (or even tips on how to stop comfort eating in general!), how to stop ordering so much fast food and how to just get healthy for my babies really. I've finally made a conscious effort to make a difference as it's really not fair on them even though they're so little and one isn't even here yet! Hope that makes sense, thanks for reading

Sounds like you have been through some tough times and food and emotions have become very tangled up. Have you ever had counselling to try and disentangle things so you don't reach for unhealthy food when things get tough? That would seem like a good investment.

Best of luck to you

If you’re pregnant again, can you talk to your midwife? They might (depending on your area) be able to refer you to a dietitian or at least let you know what support is available in your area.

On a practical level, meal plan and prep where possible, remove apps and stored cards from take away ordering places, give card to someone trusted to remove temptation until it's become a habit or freeze bank card. Use cash for food shopping and stick to a shopping list, don't shop while hungry, fruit for snacks. All the stuff you already know but possibly struggle to apply.

@esloquehay

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What?

@esloquehay thank you for that helpful response!

@bluejelly this may sound silly but I never knew you could have counselling to help with an unhealthy obsession with food. It was only until I saw a thread recently and people were suggesting therapy that I realised. I always thought it was looked at as your own personal problem and it's just something you have to deal with by yourself. It is definitely something I'll look into as I feel it'll help massively. Thank you

@FlamesEmbersAshes I have a midwife appointment next month so I'll definitely try and mention it to her, thank you

Sounds like you've come a long way from being homeless 2 years ago. I don't have any magic suggestions I'm afraid, but I would suggest a decent double buggy and lots of walking. If your babies get used to napping in the buggy then you'll be forced to walk for that, a bit like owning a dog but more than that, getting you dressed, out of the house and in the fresh air every day will do wonders for your mood.

Don't overthink it, it's just getting through one day at a time when they are little and you will get through like you have in the last 2 years. Batch cooking can be a bit faffy but maybe think up some midweek dinner ideas that can be cooked in 20 mins or less. Bags of prepped mixed veg for stir fry, pasta with tomato based sauces, ramen, home made soup (weaned babies can eat this too, you can stir in baby rice to make it easier to manage), plain or spiced pieces of chicken or fish with oven chips and tomatoes or salad.

You clearly care so much for your DC. I think you will smash this.

I don't have kids, I do share the emotional eating pattern. I know this might sound obvious but given life stress doesn't go away, you have to find something else that makes you feel happy or gives you comfort that isn't eating. Willpower or knowledge about healthy food doesn't work when you're under stress & don't have an alternative coping strategy.

For me, low fat hot chocolate, phoning friends and going for walks were the things I substituted in. Appreciate its not easy to have time to yourself when you've got young children though!

@LJAKS thank you for this! I barely cook as it is and I think that's where the problem lies. I really do want to try out a few simple meals and then batch cook like you've said.
I've deleted the apps 10000 times but I've never removed my card details which I think will be a great start. Taking cash out for shopping seems like a great idea too tbh!

@FreeFrenchHens aw thank you so much for your kind comment, I really appreciate it:)
It's funny that you say that regarding taking them out for a walk as my sister suggested the same thing and said once they get used to it, I have no choice. Also thank you so much for the food suggestions! It all sounds so simple but I really need to start making an effort.

@Ironingtsunami yesss this is so true. I've never actually thought about it like that. I'll need to actually replace comfort eating for something else for the times when I'd usually turn to food. A walk sounds so good and I think I always put it off because I'm overweight and I know I'll be out of breath but I really need to start somewhere

one last thing - some of how exhausted you feel now will be your pregnancy. It's not the same for everyone but I found newborn and toddler 100x easier than pregnant and toddler.

@FreeFrenchHens

one last thing - some of how exhausted you feel now will be your pregnancy. It's not the same for everyone but I found newborn and toddler 100x easier than pregnant and toddler.

Yeah that definitely makes sense, thank you!

Shameless bump. Anymore for anymore?

Definitely meal plan. You will eat much more healthily, which is a great example for your children as well, you'll save money, and if you're not eating takeaways, you'll lose a bit of weight. Walking is also brilliant for losing weight, especially if you are pushing a double buggy at the same time. Its good for your core muscles and your legs.

Be realistic- there will always be the odd day when you are completely knackered and everyone has pooed everywhere, and the baby cried all day, and all you want is a KFC. Have it - but make sure you walk the following day. You've got this, lovely, you can do it.

@Funnylittlefloozie

Definitely meal plan. You will eat much more healthily, which is a great example for your children as well, you'll save money, and if you're not eating takeaways, you'll lose a bit of weight. Walking is also brilliant for losing weight, especially if you are pushing a double buggy at the same time. Its good for your core muscles and your legs.

Be realistic- there will always be the odd day when you are completely knackered and everyone has pooed everywhere, and the baby cried all day, and all you want is a KFC. Have it - but make sure you walk the following day. You've got this, lovely, you can do it.

@Funnylittlefloozie thank you for this, it sounds as if meal planning is the way forward! Haha yes I've already prepared myself for how pushing the double buggy will be a mini workout. So true about being knackered and just having KFC! I'll just have to do something about it the next day. Thank you:)