AIBU to bail on an old friend?

[Ruffpunzel]

Due to see an old school friend mid January. We have non refundable tickets booked for a show. We meet up twice a year, which usually includes a weekend away, show, meal, and having a really lovely catch up.

I am now completely broke, and cannot afford to go ahead with our plans. Not going means I will lose the price of the ticket (non refundable). But I can’t afford the price of the travelling, staying somewhere, the meal we planned to go beforehand, etc. I am self employed and I have lost around 50% of my regular income, I am struggling to afford my housing costs/bills and losing the £40 seems like a preferable choice to still going ahead with our plans and losing far more money.

My only issue is my friend losing out on the show and her money as it is not refundable. WIBU to cancel despite knowing it means she will miss out on her ticket price too (unless she decided to go alone?)

Thanks in advance - I feel really shitty for considering cancelling, she’s a lovely person and I feel like a bit of a shit friend.

Your giving your friend a bit of notice so could you give your ticket to them and hopefully they will be able to find someone else to go with?

I think you need to talk to her sooner rather than later so she can find someone to use your ticket. That way she can still go and have a good time. It's crap to bail on a friend but on this occasion it seems rather unavoidable and if you are struggling financially through no fault of your own I think your friend will understand

Just be honest with her.

If I was your friend I would go anyway and enjoy the empty seat next to me

Don't feel bad about cancelling this time, things have been shit for many people and I'm sure most reasonable people would understand

Tell her quickly before she books accommodation or buys clothes/books a hairdresser/gets her nails done.

I'd tell her the truth, apologise for letting her down and offer your ticket to her (for free obviously) in case she wants to go with someone else?

Perhaps ask her if she'd like to stay with you for a night, cook some easy inexpensive food e.g. pasta , open a bottle of wine and have a catch up?

Be honest, say what you say here. If she is a friend then she will understand. Offer the ticket to her (I would not be expecting any money back) she may want to take someone else with her.

Sorry to hear times are tough for you.

Please talk to her sooner rather than later. I would like to know if my friend was worrying about a night out we had planned, rather than cancelling without giving me a chance to help.

@Waterfallgirl

Be honest, say what you say here. If she is a friend then she will understand. Offer the ticket to her (I would not be expecting any money back) she may want to take someone else with her.

Sorry to hear times are tough for you.

Agree with this.

Sorry things are so tough. I agree explain and offer her the second ticket, and invite her to stay with you at a different time.

Personally I would feel I had to offer to refund her for the ticket if she can’t find somebody else to go, but I know now everyone would feel that way.

Wishing you all the best OP.

Tell her what you said here, if she’s a decent person and a decent friend she’ll understand. Offer her your ticket so she can take someone else.

@Dancingonmoonlight

Tell her quickly before she books accommodation or buys clothes/books a hairdresser/gets her nails done.

I'd tell her the truth, apologise for letting her down and offer your ticket to her (for free obviously) in case she wants to go with someone else?

Perhaps ask her if she'd like to stay with you for a night, cook some easy inexpensive food e.g. pasta , open a bottle of wine and have a catch up?

This is exactly what I'd do. Just make sure you're honest so that your friend knows it's the circumstances and not her that's the issue.

Definitely explain a good friend would be fine with it. Also she could go with someone else and buy your ticket off you.

She can find someone else to go with just tell her asap you cannot afford it and don’t feel embarrassed everyone goes through hard times

Agree with others - not unreasonable, but tell her straight away, and be honest.

Give her your ticket and see if someone else can go with her , no need for her to miss out

It sounds as if this is the last thing you want. I also think you should give her the ticket so she can go alone or sell them.

Tell her ASAP. She might be able to invite someone else.

She is an old friend. You need to talk with her openly and asap about everything you've laid before us here. Do not lose your friendship! Talk. A good friend will totally understand. Perhaps you can catch up without it costing so much. Can't one of you go and stay a couple of days with the other?

I would be honest with your friend.

If I was that friend, I would shout you. Then when you're back in a strong position, you can return the favour.

Alternatively, as mentioned, she may be able to invite someone else.

You need to tell your friend asap and be honest and apologetic about it. Out of interest how much is the travel ? I'd be happy to share and pay for a hotel room with a friend in this circumstance and cover the meal costs.

I hope it works out for both of you.

Not unreasonable. Tell her asap so she can try and get someone else to use your ticket, and most importantly explain why and reschedule for a catch up at one of yours houses or something and organise it around budget.