After reading a thread about a poster not buying her father's partner a Christmas present it got me thinking about Dh's family.
For background both dh and I have children to our first spouses. His dcs are older than mine and were adults when we met. Mine are adults too. Every one gets along dh is great with my kids.
Both dh and I were cheated on by our children's parents hence the break down of both our first marriages.
This is more of an observation. We have twice now paid for my step kids to come on holiday with us. Again they were adults at the time. Full all inclusive holidays so that they haven't had to put their hand in their pocket at all. The first trip only my youngest child came, I could not afford to pay for my other dc. My youngest was still at school at the time.
My step kids came for Christmas day lunch, I gave them a lift as neither of them drive along with my mil. I have to say my mil is generally lovely.
However as per usual neither of my step children brought anything, not even a cheap bottle of wine regardless of the fact that I ferried them around and that they sat and ate our food all day.
My mil kept talking about 'their mother' and my dhs first wedding, seriously they have been divorced over 15 years, nearly 20. She kept referring to my dhs first wedding as if it were his only wedding. She came to our wedding and she is fully aware that her ex dil committed adultery. Furthermore the ex is now married and my step kids have lived with their mum and step dad for years it's not need that they have a step mother and a step father!
There wasn't any reason for her to keep mentioning my dh's first marriage at all and on reflection she was only doing it when dh had left the room, so in front of me and my child. I know for a fact that my dh's last partner (not the ex wife) stopped visiting his mother because one Christmas mil and sil would not stop talking about his ex wife to the point where she got upset.
They obviously all enjoyed coming to ours as later on my children and their partners came and mil and dscs stayed much later than planned, they kept saying no we don't want to leave yet.
Mil was also seeing all her grandkids the next day so if she had wanted together on about her ex dil she had plenty of opportunity to do it then.
I haven't said anything to dh about dsc not buying me a gift. The funny thing is he wraps a present up from his kids to me. At first I genuinely thought it was from them, now I know he does it to be kind!
My kids all buy him a gift.
Not sure what I'm asking just find the whole behaviour strange.
His kids have told him that they prefer me to his ex partner so they obviously don't dislike me neither does his mother.
Apparently after his mother and sister behave as they did to his his partner dh had words with them both and told them they were both dicks.
His mother is not losing her memory.
His mother also kept mentioning the forthcoming wedding of a family member when dh had left the room. Constantly taking about it. Now neither dh not I will be going to this wedding due to events which are too boring to mention here. His children will not be going either. Dh has told me his mother is angling for a lift (it's not close to us at all). In the end I told her look "Dh will not be going."
I'm trying to shut off from it but I'm finding all of them to be users.
Just wanted to vent on here.
Thanks for reading this long post.