18yo going abroad with BF

[tiredofthisshit21]

I'm just interested in opinions, not necessarily saying this is a problem but have a slight hint of worry about the situation.

18yo DD met her BF at uni in October (she's in her first year). He's her first BF, I haven't met him and only found out about his existence a week ago. She's just announced that they're going to Spain for a few days next week. She will be flying alone as he lives in a different part of the country and will get a separate flight. She has travelled lots with me but has never had to do all of the organisation herself.

Part of me applauds her independence, then the other part of me worries.... Which part of me is correct?!

@Roselilly36

Do not assume she is covered on the family insurance, if she is travelling alone.

She's definitely covered - I've already checked.

The questions you need to ask are:

1. Do you have travel insurance?
2. Do you have sun lotion?

And there is no time to meet him - they go on Monday and he lives 150 miles away.

What exactly are you worried about? Des your gut tell you the bf is a wrong ‘un?

@tiredofthisshit21

UPDATE: what would you do if your daughter was not taking any steps to protect herself from covid before travelling? She went clubbing last night, and is going to a football match tomorrow. I despair. She thinks she won't get covid because she had it in the summer. I'm worried she will test positive before she travels home and get stuck there. Would you just leave her to learn her own lessons?

She should not assume she won’t get it again if she had it last summer, as I know of three re-infections now because of the omicron variant, so she isn’t bullet proof in this respect. I was also going to comment about family insurance policies not necessarily covering if you are not travelling as a family, as our one doesn’t, but I see you say you’ve already checked this.

If she's covered by your insurance surely that covers her if she tests positive before she comes back? In which case she won't need bailing out as the insurance will do its job. If not, then it's not fit for this purpose and she should buy separate cover.

My DS is 18. He has been on 4 holidays this year with his 18 year old girlfriend.

They went to
Majorca for a week
Morocco for 10 days
Paris for 3 days
Maldives for 10 days.

They coped fine. The Maldives was 3 flights and a speedboat. I was a bit concerned about that but they were ok and cooed well when their luggage was lost for the first day.

I worry about them but they are sensible and they FaceTime us a lot when they are away.

They are both in the first year of Uni and worked for 2 years whilst doing A levels to save up the funds they needed. They had intended to travel europe for 2 months when they finished their A levels. But couldn't do it due to covid. So they picked different holidays instead.

If it hadn’t been for the last two years then many 18 year olds would have travelled abroad without their parents. They would have been studying, partying, working , travelling. Some solo, some with friends, some with partners. I think anxiety over Covid has led many parents to infantilise their young adults and made them over parent, emotionally not good for the parent, not good for the young adults either

@tiredofthisshit21

UPDATE: what would you do if your daughter was not taking any steps to protect herself from covid before travelling? She went clubbing last night, and is going to a football match tomorrow. I despair. She thinks she won't get covid because she had it in the summer. I'm worried she will test positive before she travels home and get stuck there. Would you just leave her to learn her own lessons?

YES

I know it’s harsh but yes that’s what I would do.
Atm she feels invincible , just like any other 18yo. And that’s fine. But she still needs to learn that actually she isn’t and she needs to be careful and plan ahead.

I'd buy her some insurance and then let her crack on with it. She's 18 so it's up to her to sort unless she asks for help. But I buy insurance as I feel most 18 year olds are too poor and too fool hardy to get it themselves.

I agree about the insurance though. I would check that she is covered in your own insurrance.
If she isn’t , then SHE needs to get another one before leaving

I am not clear what difference meeting the boyfriend will make. Presumably your daughter is an intelligent, articulate young woman and presumably they are already having a sexual relationship. Unless the boyfriend is a member of the SAS, he is unlikely to be able to “look after her” in a physical sense. Any problems they encounter are likely to be logistical in which case she is just as capable as he is of sorting them out (or ringing home for support). I would double check insurance cover and go through some “what if” scenarios eg losing luggage/passport/phone/money/having a massive falling out.

Fair enough. I've given her the benefit of my wisdom so I'll pipe down now.

We has a near miss with this. DS21 and DD19 had planned a trip to Poland with a couple of mates. They went to a family wedding on the Saturday before Xmas, and were flying out the next day on Sunday, back on Tuesday. Pretty much everyone contracted covid at the wedding. DD tested positive on the Tuesday and DS on Wednesday. Luckily the flight was cancelled last minute and they didn't go, because they'd probably still be there.

@tiredofthisshit21

UPDATE: what would you do if your daughter was not taking any steps to protect herself from covid before travelling? She went clubbing last night, and is going to a football match tomorrow. I despair. She thinks she won't get covid because she had it in the summer. I'm worried she will test positive before she travels home and get stuck there. Would you just leave her to learn her own lessons?

She is an adult I would treat her like one and not interfere