To ask why sales people would avoid a couple but actively sell to others

[NeedAHoliday2021]

It’s become a bit of a joke between dh and I that sales assistants never approach us but will approach others around us. We cannot figure out what vibe we’re giving off.

Now this is fairly specific. We’ll be approached in designer handbag, jewellery or clothing shops but whenever we’ve tried to buy cars or electrical items we’ve experienced this. We’ve had to hunt down an assistant every time (dh and I have been together 20 years). I used to put it down to us looking young but we were always cash buyers. We’re now 39 and 41. Yesterday we went to buy a new TV. So many staff in the store and I actually overheard one complaining their were lots of shoppers but no actually buyers. The family next to us looking at TVs got targeted but we were ignored. We chose a TV, picked up the box and walked to the till. Suddenly someone swooped in and took us to a side till to process our large purchase.

We just find it odd that we watch sales people act differently with those around us but never come and help us. Aibu to ask if we’re alone in finding this?

I find if I go into a shop just to browse I'm swooped on, but if I fully intend to buy, I’m completely ignored. It’s uncanny.

OMG same here. Whenever I want to be left browsing I get stalked but those times I needed to buy a fridge that was actually available in stock it was impossible to find someone. After about 45min I was informed they all had to be ordered.

I thought it was just me. I went to buy a laptop had £400 cash on me (saved up Christmas/birthday gifts) I was ignored. I had to get DH to come in and get served. Another time I had sold my car and needed one. We went to a big show room the man would only take me on a test drive with a car similar to the actual one in the showroom I wanted (diesel engine not the petrol version I wanted). I went to another town and brought a car in under half an hour at a lovely garage.
I have also been told I can’t afford anything in a shop and to go to argos down the road.

@Chillyjellytotty 10 years ago we were looking for a Ford smax. We were thinking about a 2-3 year old model but considered a new car if they had a good deal. Couldn’t get served initially then finally found someone who said “smax models don’t come up often used…” so I asked about the new options “they’re quite expensive new”. We had the cash and drove 45 minutes away and bought a 2 year old smax (which we still have now).

Maybe we look poor

We probably do look poor now with a 12 year old car but we really like it and it fits dc and the dog.

I have noticed this. As a single mum with a professional occupation, I have noticed that I'm ignored. When I bring someone else, I'm considered a potential customer and treated accordingly.

Recent shitty behaviour: tried to look at cars in an Arnold Clarke showroom (when I had done research and was intending to buy). Informed that it was not possible for the showroom to open the boot and let customers look in. Staff were just totally offhand like I was a time waster.

I'm finding the same about looking at houses.

@MrsHookey

I have noticed this. As a single mum with a professional occupation, I have noticed that I'm ignored. When I bring someone else, I'm considered a potential customer and treated accordingly.

Recent shitty behaviour: tried to look at cars in an Arnold Clarke showroom (when I had done research and was intending to buy). Informed that it was not possible for the showroom to open the boot and let customers look in. Staff were just totally offhand like I was a time waster.

I'm finding the same about looking at houses.

I know about 20 years ago when I was working in telesales, we were told not to try to sell to women on their own. It was on the assumption that there was also a man in the equation, the woman would get all the info and then say 'I need to discuss it with my husband' without making the sale.

We were always told to wait until both the man and woman were present.

Sexist bullshit is probably still alive and well today.

@MrsHookey this is when dh and I are together. We had a conservatory guy call us time wasters because we refused to sign that evening. He was our first quote. We had the conservatory built a month later by a lovely local firm and the cash was ready and in the bank from my redundancy pay out as I had a new job lined up to start straight away.

I do all our finances. Dh shows some interest and has full access but I’m good at it and he’s not confident. Anyone selling to dh gets directed to me. Even the car garage (who are brilliant) call me to give updates on mot etc.

Ah yes, the ones who want to talk to the husband. A) we're not married, b) I'm the higher earner c) we talked about it in advance, being normal, and d) this is not the fifties.

I remember standing in a large electrical shop and wanting to buy and no staff came near us. In the end I started doing star jumps in the shop and yelling "I have money to spend!" 🤣

When wheelie suitcases were first proposed, a CEO of a suitcase company said they were a pointless contraption as all women had a husband who was able to carry their suitcases. So wheelie suitcases were set back another few decades.

I find this at makeup counters as well. Ready to purchase and would like some advice but tend to be ignored.
Just because my face isn’t covered in makeup doesn’t mean I’m not going to buy any.

Electrical stores are the worst. I do my research beforehand and have a price in mind but salespeople make a decision about you before you even speak

What I was trying to say is that failing to get a cross section of people on your teams impacts things considerably.

If I had rocked up to Arnold Clarke and some woman had been at the front, she might not have dismissed me as fat, middle aged woman. She might have understood that I had an allowance to play with and was likely to purchase. If she had a kid with autism and a full time job she might have realised I was short of time and didn't need people pissing me around.

Btw @Arnold Clarke shitty response to just "visit another branch". I have enough going on in my life without having to drive around to more inclusive branches.

@MrsHookey I totally agree. When we walked to the till with the big tv the guy practically ran at us in the queue (it was worth his effort because we did take out the 5 year warranty that usually we don’t do).