To wish additional needs sessions were just a little less exclusive?

[Thepineapplemystery]

I know IABU really BUT DSs best mate has autism. He really struggles in lots of social settings, and particularly in things like soft play etc. Despite this, he loves the places, as does DS. DS would love for them to go to soft play together, but because of his needs, best mate can only handle the additional needs sessions and his mum also only really feels comfortable at the additional needs sessions due to the meltdowns. Unfortunately the additional needs sessions near us won't allow me & DS to come. Best mates mum could pretend DS is best mates brother but she struggles to manage 2 kids alone (and she has other kids who need to be cared for by dad). I just feel really sad they can't do this together - we took them to the park today and they had a great time but it was cold and wet and they just asked to go to soft play together. We've spoken with the local places and they just won't allow it. I obviously don't want to lie and say DS has additional needs when he doesn't bit I feel sad they can't have this experience together. I think it's at the front of my mind as DSs birthday is soon and best mate can't come to the party due to his needs, and DS really wants him there (no party would be suitable for him). We're doing a party tea just the 2 of them but DS really wanted then to go to soft play together. They're 5 for context (6th birthday coming up).

Its sad that ds's friend can't cope with the main sessions, but the few additional needs sessions available for those families really need to be protected. From bitter experience, the time to be in the space when it's quiet, when SEND families get to have the facilities, is rare and precious. Once the door is opened to non SEND friends and non SEND other children whose parents want them to be there, it won't just be limited to your one single ds in the session, it's going to be a normal session where kids with SEND are in the minority and your ds's friend wouldn't be able to cope any more than he can with any other full standard session. And where families with a child or children with SEND can't go where their child with SEND can access alongside their siblings. I've been on both sides of the desk and dealt with the ranting of non-SEND parents that SEND kids have these accessible sessions at all.

The only thing I could suggest would be to hire soft play for ds in the future for a party, so he can have the use of the place with his friend when it's quiet enough for his friend to cope. Otherwise it's finding the other things they can enjoy together.

How many places are available? I'd be tempted to lie but obviously you might take the place of a child who needs a place so that's really hard

@moita

How many places are available? I'd be tempted to lie but obviously you might take the place of a child who needs a place so that's really hard

Oh yes, I really wouldn't feel comfortable doing that! I just wish there were more sessions I guess. I know I'm being unreasonable really, just sad for DS and his mate. The above poster has a good idea though of hiring the whole place for a party, not sure we can quite afford that though!

Most soft plays allow you to hire them out for an hour or so for exclusive use, could you do that?