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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy or not to buy?

11 replies

Whattodoin22 · 27/12/2021 18:40

This is a slightly complicated situation, I'll try and simplify it so far as I can without making the post an epic length. Basically I'm trying to find the best 'solution' to my housing situation, that isn't going to leave me massively out of pocket, end up costing loads or just not work out.

DP and I don't live together currently. He lives in town A, I live 4-5 hours away in town B. He can't move from the town where he is, I can move, but only on a temporary basis IE I'd need a base here still.

DP rents, but his rental is not great, neighbours are a pain and due to having lost his driveway (when he moved in the space the agents said was his actually is for the house next door) he's now got to park on a main road where he's had some minor vandalism (car keyed, broken wing mirror) which has put him off it further. So he started looking for somewhere new.

We then considered maybe we could get somewhere slightly bigger as more of a shared property, so I could work there (no room at his for me to WFH currently so I can only visit at weekends and holidays). However the rental market is crazy currently, we enquired about 1 place a few weeks ago that within the first hour had over 100 enquiries which is just madness.

So now we're thinking maybe the answer is to buy somewhere. I have a lot of equity tied up in the house I live in now, but I'm not in a position to sell that yet (as I own it with family and they're not ready to sell - we own it outright, no mortgage). I am lucky enough to also have a good amount of savings i could use as a deposit - around £75k - so I was thinking DP and I could buy somewhere instead. We could potentially get somewhere suitable for £150k (getting a mortgage for the other £75k between the 2 of us - DP doesn't earn much though his earnings will increase a lot in a few years hopefully, he currently pays £550 rent a month so will be better off with a mortgage.

So WIBU to buy somewhere in this situation? or are there any problems with this I've not considered?

OP posts:
Riverlee · 27/12/2021 18:43

The only concerns I have would be to ring fence tour deposit. 75k is a lot of money. Would you split the remaining mortgage between you, and pay equal amounts to it?

WorriedGiraffe · 27/12/2021 18:45

Main problem is that you’d be uprouting your life 4-5 hours away to live with someone you’ve not lived with before, and if it doesn’t work out it’d be you that’s risked everything as it’s your money and life you are leaving behind!

Not necessarily a reason not to do it, it’s just hard to judge from here, how long have you been together? Is it a good relationship? Do you have kids to consider? I’d just say make sure you are doing it for the right reasons for you, and not because he needs somewere different to live.

lanthanum · 27/12/2021 18:45

How certain are you that you and DP will be together for the long-term? Going straight from weekend visits to shared mortgage is a big step. And you said you could only move on a temporary basis?

Bellsandwhistle · 27/12/2021 18:48

You have 2 options here - one is to put your 75k in and for him to take out the 75k mortgage and pay same so split the house 50/50. Or 2 you just buy the house and charge him rent. Oh and don’t marry him!! To protect your money/house.

Theunamedcat · 27/12/2021 18:52

Your missing the financial advice part where you protect yourself and what happens if you split up?

Original poster
Whattodoin22 · 27/12/2021 18:53

All good points thank you!

I would definitely want to ring fence my £75k deposit.

For the rest I was thinking we pay it 50/50 although I guess DP will be there more so maybe he should contribute more, I don't want to make it too complicated though.

We've been together for 8 years so I think we are pretty solid. In some ways buying feels less of a risk than rental, at least I'd have a house out of it. Unless the property market collapses of course which hopefully it won't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whattodoin22 · 27/12/2021 18:57

He only earns about £16-18k.a year from his business currently so I don't think he would be able to get even a £75k mortgage (he owns a limited company business and pays himself a minimal amount as a director) Although it would be good if he could get a mortgage. I'll discuss that with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whattodoin22 · 27/12/2021 20:18

I don't expect we'll split up but if we did, I guess we'd sell up, I get my £75k back and then we split any profit should there be one. Obviously we'd have to be in agreement about that before we went ahead with the purchase.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whattodoin22 · 27/12/2021 23:30

Just bumping for further advice or comment 🙂

OP posts:
Bellsandwhistle · 29/12/2021 20:28

Has he been to see of he can get a 75k mortgage yet? That’s not a lot so I don’t see why he couldn’t?! Really this is your 75k deposit is you best legal option. Or the but the house amd charge him rent. That’s your two choices to protect your money. Not sure why either doesn’t work or you need more advice!

Original poster
Whattodoin22 · 29/12/2021 21:42

DP has now asked about mortgage with his bank, but due to his employment position they wouldn't offer it to him in his sole name. That's not to say another lender might not, I know often people in a similar position have to go through brokers so we will have to explore that.

I could get a mortgage for the balance in my sole name but I'd feel a bit awkward charging him rent if I'm honest.

OP posts:
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